Roller Derby Disorder Newsfeeder

Helmet design contest

Kari T. Ryder Wilkie — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 18:22:00 -0800

From Triple Eight:

Triple Eight is launching a ground breaking global contest today and we're inviting you to participate and help spread the word. We are giving our customers, friends, and anyone with some design chops the opportunity to work up a design that could adorn one of our signature helmets; the Triple Eight Brainsaver Skate Helmet and our Old School Audio Snow Helmet! The winner of the contest, chosen by the Jovoto community (www.jovoto.com), will receive $1000 cash. Even if you don't win the cash prize, if your helmet design is chosen to be incorporated into our product line, you'll receive 5% of the wholesale price of each helmet sold, with the potential to have your design rocked by athletes from around the world.

You can sign up for the contest through http://www.triple8.com/helmet- design-contest/.

Please forward this to anyone you know that might be interested. Feel free to post it to your website, social network pages, blog about it, write about it, print and hand it out, etc. We're super excited to get our customers and friends involved in the design of a new product and are looking forward to seeing what the community develops!!

My Interview With Lilly Lightning

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 18:35:00 -0800

I just posted my interview with Seattle Derby Brat, Lilly Lightning, on my Examiner page for everyone to enjoy. And I'm telling ya...she totally ROCKED it!!!!!And speaking of rocking things---I want t...

Updates and Links

Kari T. Ryder Wilkie — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 07:10:00 -0800

Wow. It has been so long since I wrote in here that I'm not really sure where to start. Here are some highlights:

I crashed into a wall and separated my shoulder (Boo!)
I was teamed and am now a Cherry Blossom Bombshell! That means pink pink pink! (Yay!)
My shoulder is all better (Yay!)
But then I sprained my MCL (Boo!)
I went to Eastern Regionals (Go Boston!) and Nationals (Oly crap!)
I'm starting to think about doing some coaching (Yay?)
I'm thinking about buying a heat press (Umm...)
I'm really tired of not skating (Duh)

And, here are a couple more links of roller derby goodness:

zebra huddle (http://www.zebrahuddle.com/)
derby helper (http://derbyhelper.blogspot.com/)
your mom likes roller derby (http://www.yourmomlikesrollerderby.com/)
flattrack (http://flattrack.blogspot.com/)
derbuy (http://www.derbuy.com/)

Hell on Wheels screens in Asbury Park, NJ on Fri

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:54:45 -0800

Hell on Wheels screens in Asbury Park, NJ on Fri: http://njmonthly.com/events/7123.html

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 20 @ 10:00PM
Special LIVE and Film Event
Featuring a screening of the film
“Hell on Wheels”
Special post-film appearance by the
Jersey Shore Roller Girls

http://www.theshowroomap.com/Events.htm#Roller

Mid-derby Identity Crisis

Cindy Lop-her — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 06:55:00 -0800

Hearing a lot of buzz about the Oly Rollers this past season, I was looking forward to seeing them skate this past weekend at Nationals, but nothing prepared me for the actual outcome of Nationals and how that would affect our community of skaters and leagues after the last bout on Sunday.

Two jams into the Oly/Gotham game, I turned to my teammate Holly Gohardley and said, “Should we just get up and head to the Marriott gym now? Cause I don’t know if we have enough time to prepare to play Oly in April.” Like everyone else in Philly or watching from home, we were stunned and astounded by Oly’s sheer athleticism.

I don’t claim to know much about the Oly Rollers as a league, but I’ve gathered from their website and from other people in the derby community who claim to know what’s what that they are a small league comprised of two traveling teams – an A team and a B team – whose home base is a roller rink in Olympia, Washington. It makes me think back to CCRG’s days at Skateland. The disconnect that arises in my thought process next is that I, for one, had always made the assumption that we would not rise to become a national contender until we had a larger/better venue. It sounds silly now having just typed that out. Why would the size, location, or facilities of the venue where we held bouts even matter when it comes to game play? Along those same lines, what does a high-quality website, sponsors, a professionally-designed program, or a vast media outreach have to do with becoming better skaters? Maybe it doesn’t – but is that still derby?

Like many leagues out there, Charm City faced a crossroads of sorts several years ago when we decided to align ourselves and our goals with becoming a more athletically-minded league – a more competitive league. The decision angered and greatly discouraged some of our skaters who were more in love with the idea of being a group of rollergirls (with the names, the uniforms, and the WWF-mentality) than our league’s idea of being a group of athletes who just-so-happened to be rollergirls. We spent years reconditioning the media in and around Baltimore to stop writing so many “Librarian by day” stories and write more stories about derby as a sport. We focused more on building our Charm City All Stars. We completely redesigned our skater training program. So you might see from this description of our metamorphosis to become athletes that I was rather taken back when a league mate of mine who claimed to know the bare-bones, nothing fancy, just-there-for-the skating mentality of Oly told me that “that’s not roller derby.”

All the while we were growing our skaters back in Charm City, we were also improving our league’s operations as a whole. We moved to a new amazing venue, we landed strategic sponsors, we crafted better merch, and we developed the now exceptionally-high standard we have set for anything artistic that represents our league (website, posters, programs). We’re all really proud of this, like many other leagues who have also worked hard to grow these elements in their leagues that have absolutely nothing to do with athleticism. Or do they?

Modern-day roller derby remains an institution that although we are committed to the idea of “by the skaters, for the skaters”, we are also committed to using the structure that we’ve built to keep the sport going, to grow the sport, and to hopefully finally leave a respectable legacy of derby for generations to come. The structure I’m referring to is all that other stuff that “has nothing to do with athleticism” but that puts butts in seats. By keeping fans coming back, we can finance our dream – a dream that if you had asked any of us would have included and still includes athleticism and love of the sport at the top of the list. Yet there seems to be an undefined definition or an unseen line that marks and explains how the majority of us envision roller derby and how we don’t envision roller derby.

What should roller derby be? We say we want athleticism, but we chose to dedicate at least a portion of our time spent on “derby” to the derby admin that enables all those other things to happen that frame the sport for our audience. If we REALLY wanted this to be about pure athleticism, wouldn’t we say “screw it” to the production and instead spend that extra time practicing?

It’s odd that as a community I have no knowledge of us ever having really considered NOT being as “big” as we are. Several years ago while still growing WFTDA, we were somewhat consumed by not allowing outsiders to step in and make our sport “so commercial”. We live and breathe by this value of being our own owners, yet we’ve never really considered making things easier on ourselves by reducing the fanfare associated with derby. Why?

Now, I know I seem to be going down this road that implies we all say “fuck it” and stop trying so hard to make our leagues and our sport successful in the minds of the public and “shut up and skate,” but you’re wrong. My answer to this is that like everything else in life balance is needed. I don’t think we have to choose between either pure athleticism or derby as most of us know it.

After this weekend there seems to be a slight panic in our community that there’s no way we’ll be able to both keep the spectacle going AND excel in our athleticism, yet without improving upon both at the same time, our sport’s popularity and growth could plateau and our dream could be shattered. I think that by going “big” and not resigning ourselves to flag-football-esque derby, we’re keeping the dream alive and we’re not compromising our values or desires, which may be a longer road to “having it all” – a place where retired-skater admins perpetuate the bigness of our sport and active skaters CAN spend more time focusing on being athletes – but that long road is worth it (in fact, I think it’s the only way we can fulfill our dream), and I think we’re close.

Let’s face it, most of us wouldn’t be playing this sport if it were another attempt at pure spectacle, just like most of us wouldn’t be playing this sport if bouts between really great skaters took place on Wednesday evenings in a church gym. Where derby’s concerned, sport and spectacle are not mutually exclusive – one simply cannot exist without the other, and modern-day roller derby wouldn’t exist without both.

I think we should use the panic as motivation to taking the next step in modern-day roller derby, just like I think I should use the panic to get my ass to the gym more and kick it up a notch, so I don’t have my ass handed to me by someone twice my size in April. This sport’s growing faster than we can keep up with it, and some of us are growing faster than we even realize. I dare say our dream has already come true, but like any athlete, I also know there’s always room for improvement. Who’s ready to do this?

Let's. Skate. Forward.

pigeonderby@gmail.com (Ruby Khan) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 19:43:00 -0800

Nationals totally came and went, you guys! And once it got to the semi finals it was mostly kind of... boring?

As someone who is no longer officially affiliated with a league, I can say out loud on behalf of no one but myself that seeing Texas skate reminds me that roller derby is indeed a sport, and that I hate sports because sports are made of assholes. Lowlight moment: Texas skaters taking a victory lap during the final jam of Oly beating them silly for the national title, while Chip Queso lost his temper on mic and scolded the crowd for booing Texas for being sore losers.

OMG ROLLER DERBY IS LOVE, YOU GUYS! No one disagrees with anyone in our egalitarian, come-one-come-all, inclusive sisterhood! The crowd can't express negative opinions ever because that is bad form, but skaters on the track can yawn and blow kisses and act like other teams are sooooo not worth their time and, gosh, that is just some kinda fun n' sassy ain't it?!

PS: Dear announcer who kept asking us to "give it up" for RMRG skaters after they were ejected for flagrant and/or excessive accumulated fouls--Really? You're really encouraging me to applaud someone for punching another skater in the head?

PPS: Yeah, yeah, Denver's non-skating was boring, and I booed it too, but it was legal. And when confronted with a team that could mount a serious offense, they came up short. (I think RMRG could have taken third place if they hadn't had Dee Ranged expelled because of her outburst in the earlier game against Texas. But karma is a bitch.)

I'd like to see something like "if you're intentionally skating backwards, you're out of play and a skater may re-enter the track in front of you" in the next rules revision. Someone who enters the pack behind where they were knocked out is not cutting the track, to my mind. In that case, the blocked skater isn't bettering their position, the blocking skater is worsening their position by moving backwards.

I think it's necessary to acknowledge what Denver's schtick has added to the sport, for better or for worse, but I don't want to encourage it because not skating is not roller derby. I like me some pack speed control and think any team worth their salt needs to know how to stop on a dime, force a track cut, slow block an opponent, etc. but it should be just one of many skills in a team's bag of tricks, not the crux of their strategy. I'm still not convinced that Denver is a top three team. They just figured out a way to force opponents into a very different looking game by exploiting a hole in the rules before anyone else thought to exploit it.

Meanwhile, I had a wonderful weekend largely ignoring everyone and hanging out in the city where JK5K and I spent our salad days. The Philly Roller Girls did a great job with tournament logistics (if there were glitches, it wasn't apparent to me at all) and it felt less insane than any other tournament I've been to. But my first was Bumberbout and that was pretty much temper tantrums all day and Caligula in the hotel pool, so there's nowhere to go but up.

I wish VIP tickets weren't such a crapshoot though. In Madison, they weren't that worth it--we never found out where VIP seating was supposed to be, but we did get canvas bags and a t-shirt. In Portland, they'd have been worth it since seating was at such a premium. In Philly there didn't seem to be anyone looking to see whether people in the VIP sections had wristbands, and programs weren't included, so it was like an extra $25 for a mess of stickers and a couple of Chipotle coupons. We never get VIP tickets when we should have.

THE END!

Unrelated: Sadly(?), this was the jam of the weekend in party room 984:

SEASON TICKETS AND WINTER WONDERSLAM TICKETS ON SALE!

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 07:11:59 -0800

Tickets for Winter Wonderslam on December 5th are now on sale! Tickets will be £10 advance plus 55p PayPal fee, as usual, or £12 on the door. But before you buy yours, read on… this season we are launching our EXCLUSIVE season ticket for our wonderful fans!

WHAT IS IT?
This season we have a PACKED schedule, we have 6 intra-league games plus our spectacular championship final bout! We will be playing 3 public and 3 closed door intra-league bouts this season, plus the season championship. Closed door bouts are not open to the general public, but if you are a season ticket holder, you will have EXCLUSIVE access to these intra-league bouts. You will also get to party with the London Rollergirls after EVERY bout! You will be invited to special secret invitation only LRG events and you will be able to buy advanced tickets for inter-league bouts, such as when the Texas Rollergirls’ Hustlers team come to play us in March 2010.

HOW MUCH DOES THIS COST?
Well, let me start by saying that our normal ticket price for a bout is £10 (or £12 on the door) so it can cost up to £84 to come and see us for 7 intra-league games, however for a one off cost of £50 (plus £3 PayPal fee) this season pass is YOURS. This is an ideal Christmas present for ANY roller derby fan out there (or if you fancy treating yourself!). Not to mention that the pass gets you access to three games you wouldn’t be able to see otherwise!

HOW DO I GET IT?
OK, OK, calm down, firstly I need to tell you that because this is an EXCLUSIVE we are limited to only 100 tickets this season! You can get your season ticket through our website at http://www.londonrollergirls.com or at our next bout, Winter Wonderslam on Dec 5th. Once you have paid for your season ticket you will be sent a lovely laminated ticket with your name on it and your name will be added to the VIF (very important fan) list at every bout.

If you love roller derby, if you love watching the London Rollergirls, if you want more roller derby in your life, if you want to come to more events and get to know us all that bit better, this is the PERFECT option for you! Are you ready? Do you think you have what it takes? Can you handle that much EXCLUSIVE roller derby action?

So what are you waiting for……. come on Superfans……….we are ready for YOU!

The bouts that the LRG season ticket covers are as follows:
5th December 2009 “Winter Wonderslam” Steam Rollers vs Ultraviolent Femmes
6th February 2010 “Club Tropicarnage” Ultraviolent Femmes vs. Suffra Jets
27th February 2010 Suffra Jets vs. Steam Rollers (closed-door bonus bout)
2nd May 2010 (Sunday) Steam Rollers vs. Ultraviolent Femmes (closed-door bonus bout)
22nd May 2010 “Smack to the Future” Suffra Jets vs. Steam Rollers
19th June 2010 Ultraviolent Femmes vs. Suffra Jets (closed-door bonus bout)
17th July 2010 Season Championship

SEASON TICKETS:

WINTER WONDERSLAM TICKETS:

Have the Oly Rollers Changed Roller Derby as We Know (Knew) It?

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 21:34:00 -0800

I just posted my opinions on that over on my Examiner page. Just click on the blue "Examiner" there to check out what I have to say on the subject. Also, feel free to subscribe to my new page so you c...

Oly Rollers Take 2009 WFTDA National Championship

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 07:46:00 -0800

I posted my brief recap on my Examiner page pretty much right after it was done. Perhaps setting a record for the soonest time I've ever posted a recap (lol).Two years ago I predicted Oly would win th...

2009 Nationals: Capsule Recaps

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 16:34:29 -0800

Sunday Bouts | Saturday Bouts | Friday Bouts

Texecutioners' Watch Party!

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 00:59:06 -0800

The Texas Rollergirls’ travel team, the Texecutioners, are competing at the annual Women’s Flat Track Derby Association national tournament held in Philadelphia this weekend, November 13-15.

Watch from home or join us at The Jackalope in downtown Austin to cheer on the team and watch the hard-hitting action of the Texecutioners’ games streamed live on Derby News Network.

The Texecutioners will accept their first challenge at 9:00 a.m. (central time) on Saturday, November 14.

If they win, they will be playing again at 5:00 p.m. (central time) on Saturday, November 14 for a spot in the final bracket.

If all goes as planned, The Texecutioners will be playing for The Hydra Trophy at 3:00 p.m. (central time) on Sunday, November 15.

For more information about the brackets and tournament updates, visit The Declaration of Derby website.

2009 Nationals Preview: Why We'll Win

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 00:50:01 -0800

In the runup to Nationals, DNN contacted members of each team and asked them all the same question:

"Why is your team going to win Nationals?"

National Championship Prediction

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 22:38:00 -0800

I just posted my WFTDA national championship tournament prediction on my Examiner page. Feel free to leave your comments in the box on there sharing your predictions as to how things might go. Afteral...

Declaration of Derby: GO!

Cindy Lop-her — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 10:22:00 -0800

In case you need a formal justification to go hang out with your friends and drink beer while watching really good derby this weekend at the WFTDA National Championship in Philly, I’m here to give it to you: watching really good roller derby will make you a better roller derby player. Consider it part of your training program – just like practicing and going to the gym.

According to a November 10th article in the Scientific American, people imitate that which they see (and hear), and if a person watches someone else doing something similar to what he or she already does, his or her network of “mirror” neurons show significantly greater activity than if the person were to watch, say, hockey instead of roller derby – there are strategic similarities, but we play derby, not hockey. So what does this mean, you ask? It means super scientists are really freaking close to being able to tell us for sure that if you want to excel at something, viewing others who already excel will help you imitate the actions that contribute to excelling. And after all, that IS what you want to do, isn’t it?!

When I was a young derby player I could give a rat’s ass about watching other people play roller derby. While my teammates were traveling every-other weekend to go see bouts held by other leagues up and down the East coast, I was doing derby admin and god-knows-what. As time went on, my teammates seemed to get better at playing derby, while I was completely and utterly stagnant. Now, don’t get me wrong, there were a lot of factors that played into my stagnacity (yeah, I made that up!), but certainly on that list was my almost refusal to watch other people play. After all, I already spent a huge chunk of my life practicing and playing and another huge chunk building our league and derby in general around the country. I thought I already knew derby, therefore I should be becoming a better player. Wrong. I knew derby the business, not derby the sport.

In a way, suffering sequential shoulder injuries last year was almost a blessing. It caused me to slow down and gave me the opportunity to accidentally see a lot of really good derby that ignited my desire to not only NOT fall behind the skill set of my peers, but also to consciously challenge myself to excel as a derby player – to BECOME a derby player, not just a “rollergirl”.

Watching other people do what you want to do better is fucking exciting, especially if you can personally relate to someone who has those qualities you so desperately want. Many times we make excuses for why we can’t do something, because it’s easier than actually trying. During the time I was frustrated that all my teammates were getting better and I wasn’t, I decided that I was merely too fat to compete – that I would need to lose weight to play derby.

Buddha bless those girls who somehow get past their insecurities faster than the rest of us do, because they serve as our role models in derby and in turn help the rest of us get over ourselves. This weekend I guarantee that you will see someone you can relate to. Maybe she’s way taller than all her teammates, maybe she’s way shorter. Maybe she’s a slight blocker, maybe she’s a bulky jammer. Maybe she’s only 19, or maybe she’s in her 40s. Watching someone else who shares your perceived “flaw” do something amazing is sure to help you shake your excuse and go for the gold.

For the more advanced skaters who aren’t skating this weekend, or who maybe get knocked out early, watching really good derby will give you ideas about how you can improve your game play. Let’s face it, you watch your own team and league skate ALL THE TIME. Because of this, you have limited examples of alternative ways to do things. If you’re lucky, you get to play against or watch your travel team play against other leagues’ teams who are more than likely in your same geographical area. Nationals, however, brings together teams and styles from all over the country. By attending Nationals, you get to see a variety of other proven ways to do things. Some will reinforce why you shouldn’t do something a certain way, while others may give you ideas about new things to try when you get back home.

“Well, I’m not going,” you say, “but I will be watching the bouts over the internet.” Watching bout footage is great, but just like there’s no substitute for watching your favorite band perform in person, there’s also no substitute for watching really amazing derby in person. For one, you’re likely to see your new derby crush in the stands several hours after she’s just played “the best game you’ve ever saw,” and if you have the guts you just might be able to ask her something about her game play. Can you do that from home? No. No, you can’t. Secondly, if you’re viewing from home you’re totally missing out on the vibe from the crowd, and that’s just a bummer. Third, well, I’ll be there. C’mon, it’s Philly – you know I wouldn’t miss this being only 2 hours away! Seriously, if you’re there and you see me, say “hi” and give me some feedback on the direction you’d like to see me take this blog. I’ve got a couple of ideas for 2010, but they require audience participation. And, if you buy me a beer (or four), I might just turn into my evil, touchy twin: Cindy Grope-her. Not everyone likes Cindy Grope-her, but most people do. Just know that by purchasing me a beer you are agreeing to not hold me liable for any touching or fondling that may ensue. Beer purchase is not a guarantee of touching; if you are creepy, you will not be touched.

On that note, I’m off to do some laundry for this weekend – I can’t wait to see all of you in Philly!

2009 Nationals Preview: Team Profiles

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 06:02:45 -0800

Philly | Gotham | Boston | Windy City |

Interview with Atomatrix of the Oly Rollers

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 18:20:00 -0800

I just posted it on my Examiner page since I figured now would be an awesome time to interview one of Oly's very best leading up to Nationals this weekend in Philadelphia. I hope you enjoy it!

Dockyard vs. Lava City Bout Recap

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 21:45:00 -0800

I posted it last night on my Examiner page. Just click on the blue there to go read it!Also, I have three interviews pretty much set up. I have sent 2 of the questionaires out to skaters and I will do...

DNN Releases November Power Rankings

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 00:15:41 -0800

In a month with relatively little Power Ranked action, what bouts there were proved mighty confounding for the DNN crew. #14 Detroit answered a 107-95 nailbiter defeat by #13 Madison at North Central Regionals by knocking off the Dairyland Dolls 275-76 at home, but the latter bout rostered only 10 Madison skaters.

Dutchland Hosts River City, Lehigh Valley

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:46:02 -0800

LANCASTER, PA -- On Saturday, November 7th, the Dutchland Derby Rollers will present their first ever double header event at Overlook Rink in Lancaster, PA.

Suburbia Hosts Jersey Brawl, Shock Exchange vs. Death Quads

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 23:53:22 -0800

YONKERS, NY -- This Saturday, Suburbia Roller Derby will play host to a doubleheader this weekend when the New York Shock Exchange take on the Connecticut Death Quads and Suburbia faces off against the

Fox Cityz Chips Off Glass City, 86-79

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 23:35:57 -0800

TOLEDO, OH -- To paraphrase ex-pro wrestler turned movie star ‘The Rock’: “Finally, the Glass City Rollers have come back to Toledo!” It could be added, “after having played their first four derby bouts away from home!” Unfortunately for the home fans, the visiting Fox Cityz Foxz

WE’RE WFTDA!

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:07:55 -0800

http://wftda.com/leagues/apprentice

What a week! The London Rollergirls are very proud and excited to announce that we have become the first derby league outside the US & Canada to be accepted into the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association! We join WFTDA as apprentice members and over the coming months will be working towards attaining full member status and ranking.

Next stop: Eastern Regionals???

Roller Derby this weekend! Not for Nia...

Nia Capps — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 09:31:00 -0800

Cats aren’t the Only Ones with 9 Lives

Cindy Lop-her — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:57:00 -0800

In everyday life, most of us learn from our mistakes. We do something resulting in an unfavorable outcome, and we learn quickly to not do that thing again – unless, of course, that thing is an injury resulting from derby.

I have family and friends who look at me with awe and amazement when they hear of yet another derby or athletic-related injury. What they say is usually something to the effect of, “Wow, you really are dedicated,” but I know what they’re really thinking is more along the lines of, “Wow, you really are fucking crazy.”

I’ve always been accident prone, and I’ve never quite done the smartest of things. When I was about 8 I had a series of foot injuries due to wearing jelly shoes while riding my bike. When I panicked, I wouldn’t use the bike brakes for some reason – I would use my feet like Fred Flintstone – and I panicked quite often going by the house of my friend whose hot brother made me, well, panic. Slamming my feet to the ground, I would tear right through a pair of jelly shoes as if they were big pink erasers disintegrating on mistake-ridden spelling homework. I would come home with the nastiest foot wounds and repeatedly tear open the thin skin on the inside of the ball of my foot – just below my big toe. I played soccer then too, and I remember my dad trying everything to keep the scabs from turning to a layer of yellow puss that would rip off during each practice or game, making me start from scratch with the healing process. I don’t know how I played like that, and I have no recollection of it hurting or keeping me from playing, but I digress (as usual).

Speaking of feet, two months is an appropriate amount of time for a rollergirl to lose all her carefully crafted calluses. Last night was my first night back in skates since September 6, and my candy-coated exterior was nowhere to be found (boo!). But that’s not the point here. The point is that I GOT BACK ON SKATES!

My physical therapist has been telling me for the past week that I may be ready to try out skating again, but I’ve been understandably doubtful that I really am ready. I know she’s seen derby before, but I don’t think she knows just how much the ankle is involved in cutting and other quick moves. Regardless, I’ve been bored as hell at home, so I decided that I’d show up and just noodle around. Then, at least, I’d have a good idea about where I am with regards to being able to skate again. I made it through an hour and a half of skating (and about 20 minutes of warm-up time on my own before the actual practice started). I didn’t jump, and I didn’t do any contact (coming off injury, I have to do 2 practices no contact, 2 contact, and then I can scrimmage again), but as time went on, I could actually feel my ankle joint loosen up, which was a good feeling. Then, I did something stupid on the carpet, trying to show a fresh meat skater an exercise she could do at home to mimic the intensity of sprawls and falls, and it was all over for the night, which was actually fine because I didn’t really know what the outcome would be anyway.

I cannot tell you how good it felt just to be out there on the hardwood with two of my teammates, Holly and Terror, warming up and bullshitting before practice started. THAT is a big part of what I have missed: telling Holly she’s an asshole and listening to Terror bitch that she hasn’t been on skates in a week (I’m only talking about Holly being an asshole here out of pure love, because I know she reads this. Hi, Holly!). Being there felt good – really good. At one point, I stopped and thought about what I’ve been doing during this time while healing at home. My goal was to use practice time to write several large articles I’ve been planning and submit them to some magazines, but instead I sit on the sofa with the dog and watch crappy network television by myself. “I could be here instead,” I thought, “There’s really no other place I’d like to be.”

I guess I really have found my thing. I joke with Lady Quebeaum that we’re “lifers” – no matter what we do or how burnt out we get, we can’t stay away from derby. I’m beginning to think there’s some real truth in my jest. I’ve been injured significantly enough (albeit not all from derby) that I’ve been off-skates now 5 times during my 5-year derby career: PCL tear, right AC joint, left AC joint, herniated disk in my neck, and sprained ankle. And this list doesn’t include the other minor injuries that haven’t kept me off skates, like a tailbone break, rib fracture, cartilage tear between my ribs, pulled hamstring, pulled groin, various foot and back pains and cramps, and that insane knot on my lower leg that still hasn’t gone away and that the doc said after viewing my ankle X ray looks like a now-healed hairline fracture that I skated on all last season.

Even the most seasoned skaters might ask me, “Isn’t that enough?” I guess not. I’ve come to terms with my inability to plan any sort of “retirement” from derby. Each year I think it could be my last, but then I’m just not ready to leave, so I don’t. Bottom line: I’m going to continue to skate as long as I want to skate, and I’m not done yet.

This morning I woke up, expecting to be greeted by a swollen, sore ankle, but instead the usual morning stiffness I experience was nowhere to be found – neither was the swelling. I’ve been having problems getting the fluid cleared from the joint, and I’m wondering if skating last night didn’t actually help it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m in no position right now to jump back in head first – I can’t make quick maneuvers and I’m scared to lock wheels with anyone because my ligaments are still in pain – but I think I’m on the road to recovery.

There’s a white board at my office on which someone wrote “Interesting facts”. One of the facts was: cats have nine lives. Standing a little taller and walking with a somewhat larger stride this morning, I grabbed a marker and added my own fact: Rollergirls ALSO have 9 lives. By my count, I’m on my 6th, and I have a feeling number 6 is going to be a good one!

SEPTA Strike Shouldn't Impact Nationals

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 14:02:40 -0800

PHILADELPHIA, PA -- Just ten days before the Declaration of Derby 2009 WFTDA National Championship Tournament gets under way, over 5000 SEPTA transit workers walked off the job, leaving commuters stranded thro

Oh no - How derby Hurts!

Nia Capps — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 04:48:00 -0800

Great Expectations

Cindy Lop-her — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 02:28:00 -0800

We all experience times if life where we’re met with the unexpected.

I grow anxious relying on other people, because there’s just no guarantee that things are going to happen the way I’d like them to happen, yet over this past year I’ve been trying to make amends with my intense need to control everything around me. I’ve been relying more on others to carry the load and make decisions that once consumed my time, knowing that things might not always get done the way I would do them, but they will get done nonetheless. The results of this in my professional life have been pretty good. My time has been largely freed up so that I can manage the big picture, while leaving the details and the mechanism with which we arrive at attaining our overall goals to people with whom I work (I’m a Project Manager). Derby? That’s another story entirely.

Sometimes (okay, many, many times) I get frustrated that my natural abilities lie more with things like building budgets than with being an excellent derby player. I mention budgeting only because it’s something I just finished doing that I did incredibly fast and well. When my boss complimented my mad budgeting skills, I was thrilled, but then my thoughts immediately turned to longing for that same type of praise with my performance as a skater. It just doesn’t come natural to me.

Much like I take being able to build a budget for granted, I’m sure many skaters out there who have natural skating and athletic ability take their position on a roster for granted. Not me. It’s an anxiety-ridden nightmare in the weeks leading up to roster selection for an All Star bout. I get sick to my stomach each month, hoping and praying that I’m playing well enough to stay at the bottom of the roster. It seems no matter how hard I try, I’m just mediocre, so I follow the rules of being rostered prior to each game, hoping the skill I’ve shown at practice and my attendance and attitude will win me a spot on the roster. The days leading up to our captains’ selection are filled with my constant comparison of myself to other skaters in a similar position as me. Did they make attendance? How are they playing? What could they have over me that would make them rostered and me not? Then, once the roster comes out or the plane tickets are purchased, I breathe a sigh of relief and can then just focus on playing derby instead of competing for a spot to play derby.

But the “rules” of being rostered, as I know them and as I alluded to above, are not always followed. After really good performance at home against Philly, I was totally amped to travel to Chicago and play Windy City – a team I’ve wanted a piece of for a while. I had been feeling good about my ability and comfortable in my position for the first time all season. Now, with one game left I could get out on the track and just do my thing with my ladies. Or maybe not. Completely blindsided, I was told 15 minutes before we left for the venue that I wouldn’t be playing in the game. Confused as hell, because I thought I was just starting to excel, I was told that with this being our last game before regionals, our captains needed to be able to see if several other skaters were prepared for the level of game play we would face at regionals. It wasn’t because I was sucking – it was because they were confident that I could play at that level after watching me play against Philly. After a period of disbelief in this reasoning, I got really upset. I followed the rules, I worked hard, and the reward for that is being rostered – getting to play. Only this time it wasn’t. I felt completely jipped! And if I wasn’t going to play, why the hell did they bring me to Chicago?! What was a really great trip instantly turned to shit, and if I could have afforded to buy another plane ticket fly home right then, you better believe that I would have.

Then there’s the perception of others… I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t care what other people think about me in derby. I do. And everyone else knows the unwritten rules of being rostered just as well as I do, which means assumptions would be made, and I’m sure they were made.

Back to natural talent. If I had natural skating ability like many women I know, I wouldn’t have ever been placed in this situation. The same can’t be said for budgeting. If you’re not a natural at budgeting, there is no horrible consequence that evokes a strong emotional reaction. Sure, maybe you have to spend more time redoing the budget, but it’s not like there’s a chance you don’t get paid because someone else in another department can budget better than you. And work doesn’t make me emotional. Derby, on the other hand, makes me incredibly emotional. Why? I actually think I’d enjoy derby a hell of a lot more if I cared a whole lot less about it, but therein lies the catch 22: I’m simply not naturally talented enough to care about it less and still be able to play well. My emotional health could be good, but I’d never get rostered.

I train out of fear. I try out of fear. Sure, I want to get better, but my biggest derby motivator is fear, and I don’t know how to change that. Thing is, I’m so freaking tired of living in fear of not being rostered each month – SO TIRED. What do I do to change this? How do I find some sort of balance that makes me less crazy in the head yet still in the running for a roster spot? If anyone out there knows, this girl would love to be hit over the head with a hint.

I’ve evolved a lot over the last three seasons. I went from the really fucked up mindset of “I’ve been here since the beginning, so I deserve a spot on the roster” and completely not giving derby my all to knowing it’s not about who you are or how long you’ve played – it’s about how good you are, and if you want to compete, you have to be good enough to compete, so now I do give it my all. I suppose I can’t be all that upset – I did accomplish many of my personal goals I set for last season: I made the All Stars and played in bouts against top-ranked teams. I still just want to be better so I can get out from under the stress associated with being at the bottom of the roster.

It’s difficult not to go into anything without expectations, and it’s especially difficult not to have expectations for something you’ve been involved with for so long, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned this past season, it’s that it’s foolish to have expectations that allow you to be set up for misery. Loving derby in the long term is like loving a long-term partner who always keeps you on your toes. After a while you grow to expect things to be a certain way, but they aren’t always like that. Turns out you need your partner more than your partner needs you. At times it can be a shitty relationship to be in, but you keep going back to derby because the allure is like nothing you’ve ever experienced, and although you often get hurt by it, you still can’t imagine you life without it. At least that’s how I feel.

THANK YOU FOR VOTING - WE WON!!

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 06:11:15 -0800

Millions and millions of thanks from all of us here at the LRG for voting for us in the Great Britons competition! We just got official word that we won the public vote, and we will get 14 free flights to New York next April! This is such a massive boost for us and takes a lot of the pressure off fundraising for the tour. We promise to bring back what we learn!!

WINNERS!

taunted by pima cotton

pigeonderby@gmail.com (Ruby Khan) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 12:50:00 -0800

"Hey, check out at that jackass writing catalog copy about embroidered logo corporate apparel."

Dockyard Derby Dames vs. Lava City Roller Dolls Bout Preview

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 23:20:00 -0800

I just posted it on my Examiner page for you to check out. As far as I know, it's the only derby bout going this weekend in the northwest. So if you can make it, you should definitely check it out! It...

FUNDRAISER/VOTE FOR US!

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 09:19:28 -0700

The London Rollergirls are holding a fundraiser party to help send our all-star team to the US next year! If you’ve been to one of our parties before, you know the drill; if not (and why not?) we’ll have bands, rollergirl DJs, a delicious bake sale, merch for sale, dancing and rollergirls aplenty!

Playing for us this time are the fabulous Squirrel Skin Slippers.

We’ll be hosting this event along with the very awesome Bulldog Gin - who will offer some fabulous cocktail promos. Event starts at 8:00 pm and our bit of the event will end around 9.30 but there’s a rock night on after which we hope everyone will stay on for with us. So come early to hang out with the London Rollergirls and help us raise some money for our future bout touring plans!

Location:
http://www.thedenandcentro.com/

And dont forget!! We’re still needing your votes to help us win some flights to the US for the tour, too! Voting is ony open for a couple more days so if you haven’t voted already, please go to http://www.greatbritons.ba.com/users/23247 and vote for us! Leave a comment if you like too :)

Untitled

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 17:55:01 -0700

Life is Good!

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:19:57 -0700

A year ago, I was flat broke. I had just injured my bad knee during WFTDA Regionals, I was emotionally spent from a year of being disrespected, and I had spent all my money trying to force an extracurricular activity into a sport.

This year, my body feels great (even if it’s overweight), I can hold a conversation without yelling or being yelled at (mostly), and I just booked a real family vacation. And by real, I mean we are taking The Kitten to see and play in real snow for the first time, not just squeezing in a day’s visit to an amusement park because Mommy’s too busy acting like a bad-ass.

It’s funny how everything works out for the best (even though I’m still a bad-ass).

scary clown, nice typography

pigeonderby@gmail.com (Ruby Khan) — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 18:37:00 -0700

From Parkinson Type Design.

Tryouts!

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 12:33:35 -0700

tryouts_8th

Originally uploaded by Black-n-Bluegrass Rollergirls

Preparing for FCDG ROLLER DERBY - Nov 7, 2009

Nia Capps — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 04:48:00 -0700

Interview With Skate Pauli Girl

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 22:12:00 -0700

I just posted it on the Examiner for your reading pleasure. And honestly, this might be the best interview I've done up until now. They have all been good, but Skate REALLY went the extra mile in this...

Homicide Shuts Down Militia In Men's Bout, 190-59

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 21:46:03 -0700

DENVER, CO -- Baltimore men's team Harm City Homicide only brought 7 players to their Saturday night bout with Tucson's Dry Heat Militia, but the scoreboard didn't reflect the short roster, as Homicide led from the first jam on and soundly defeated the less experienced Militia, 190-59.

yes, it works, but it's funny because it's yelling at you

pigeonderby@gmail.com (Ruby Khan) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 07:24:00 -0700

Slaughter County Roller Vixens Bout Preview

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 20:19:00 -0700

I just posted it on The Examiner page. Hopefully you will not only check out the preview, but attend the bout, too. Especially since I'm not 100% sure I'll be able to make it yet. Rotten working night...

math/literary/dick joke

pigeonderby@gmail.com (Ruby Khan) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 19:03:00 -0700

I can't even do long division anymore and there aren't enough days left in my life to read Thomas Pynchon, but this might be the best intersection of math, literature, puns, and internet commenter oneupsmanship ever. From this Metafilter post: The crying of x^2 + xy + y^2 = 49

No, no, no. Pynchon's narrative style has complexity O(n α(n)).

If by that you mean it's intensely masturbatory, I fully agree with you.

Oh, zing, nerds, ZING!

Get it? O(n α(n)) looks like Onan? Har har.

20x200x$825,000

pigeonderby@gmail.com (Ruby Khan) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 05:48:00 -0700

NYT article on how 20x200 has raised over $800k in venture capital funding. I've been so uninterested with the work they've offered over the past few that I've unsubscribed from the site. I like the concept of making art collecting affordable for many more people and making it easy to start small, but I don't think that oddly sized ink jet prints of paintings made on iPhones and safe, unchallenging, quirky doodles are really expanding the culture of collection any more than a marketplace like Etsy does.

I especially disagree the article's description of 20x200 as "carefully curated," feels more like "curated by Google Trends" at times. Owner Jen Bekman's mailing list emails, which always seem to start with a description of where else in the country she's flying off to while checking in from the airport, undercut the "careful" assertion, too. It all feels very offhand and there's something pre-Internet-bubble about it.

This quote caught my eye though.

Historically, certain areas, like art and music, “have not been great places for venture capital money,” said Mr. Conrad. “They’re crowded and overfunded and tend to be entrenched in philosophies that are hard to navigate beyond.”

Only a venture capitalist would call the arts "overfunded."

2009 Dockyard Derby Dames Bout Recap

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 19:50:00 -0700

I just posted it on The Examiner for your reading pleasure. Also, I scratched the "all-star team" thing and went back to the "three stars". Although I do think I will keep the "all-star team" around f...

Minnesota Knocks Back #17 Carolina, 105-69

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 13:48:27 -0700

ST. PAUL, MN --In the beginning of flat-track derby, the original, 'v1.0' rules of our governing body didn't even exist. Get a player from those days over a beer, and you'll hear about how the two teams would hash out the ruleset between them only hours before the bout was played.

WCR Defeats Rose City in Front of Record Crowd, 113-73

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 12:53:10 -0700

CHICAGO, IL -- Portland’s Rose City Rollers visited Chicago on Saturday night to take on the Windy City Rollers All-Stars, the 2009 North Central Region champs. Rose City, eliminated in the Quarterfinals of the Western Regionals, may have hoped to slip in under the radar and catch the All-Stars focused forward on WFTDA Nationals next month. Three quarters of the way through the bout, the teams w

SECRET OPPONENTS REVEALED!

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 06:34:57 -0700

Drum roll please…

The London Rollergirls are pleased and proud to announce that on March 20th, 2010, we will be hosting none other than the Texas Rollergirls’ Hustlers!

The Texas Rollergirls are widely regarded as the godmothers of women’s flat track roller derby being the original league that got it all going back in 2002. The Hustlers feature several members of the fearsome Texecutioners, the TXRG all-star team (ranked #1 in the WFTDA South Central region and heading to Nationals in November as one of the top four seeds) as well as a couple of girls who have been playing derby right since the start. We’re incredibly proud and excited to host them in London, and we know this will be our toughest test yet.

More info to come soon regarding venue, ticket info and other exciting derby events happening that weekend, but for now, save the date… if you’re in the UK and you love derby, London is where you want to be that weekend.

Rat City’s Sockit Wenches in Double Header Challenge at Gotham

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 20:42:07 -0700

NEW YORK, NY -- Two local teams from the #2 Gotham Girls Roller Derby wrap up their 2009 season with a unique doubleheader on Saturday night October 24 as both take on the visiting Sockit Wenches from Seattle’s #10

Judy Sowinski on the Radio

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 08:17:36 -0700

Terror in Lahore – Again

An Original Roller Derby Girl Roller Derby

Judy Sowinski

The sport of roller derby is getting a lot of attention this fall with the new movie, Whip It.

Roller derby has a proud history as an American sport that’s been played since the 1920s. It’s one of the few high-powered contacts sports that put women in the spotlight.

Judy Sowinski, also known as the Polish Ace, coaches the Penn-Jersey She-Devils in Philadelphia. But Judy had her own storied career in roller derby in the 60’s when she was known as the Polish Ace. She joins Dick to talk about the sport then and now.

* See pictures of Judy in action

* See Judy with her current team, the Penn-Jersey She-Devils.

* Judy and arch-rival Judy Arnold then and now

MP3 Radio Download

VOTE FOR US!

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 08:13:55 -0700

We have grand plans for 2010. Oh yes we do. And the biggest and the grandest of those plans is to get our undefeated European Champion all-star team, London Brawling, over to the home of roller derby: the USA. We have a tour of the US East Coast planned in April, with some bouts and practices lined up against some great teams. This will be an amazing chance for us to learn and to improve our skills, and to prove ourselves against some really good, established derby teams.

But we need to get there. And you can help with that. We’re currently shortlisted in a British Airways competition to win our flights to New York, and we need votes to win! Please help us - go to http://www.greatbritons.ba.com/shortlists and vote for Lorna “Kamikaze Kitten” Brown, and help us get to America!

Zombie Pub Crawl

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 08:02:03 -0700

halloween2009teaser[1]

Originally uploaded by Black-n-Bluegrass Rollergirls

DERBUY, you said?

Nia Capps — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 03:30:00 -0700

Pussy(cat) Calling

Cindy Lop-her — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 13:46:00 -0700

I get cat called all the time. Am I special? There are certainly some people in this world who have that certain something about them – I’ve always thought Buzz Kill was one of these people. Me? I’m fairly certain I’m not, yet I still get cat-called and hit on more than a major league baseball. Sure, it’s flattering, but over time I’ve come to believe it’s just another charming characteristic of Charm City. My boyfriend has a theory that the men in this town hit on every attractive woman they see, because it’s merely a game of numbers. If you hit on 10 women a day, 7 days a week, out of those 70 women at least one or two should be willing to take the bait, right? I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s a good strategy for getting laid, because you waste a lot of time and effort, but it is a strategy nonetheless and one countless men in Baltimore subscribe to.

Yesterday on my lunch break I tweeted: “Shamelessness hath no boundaries; I just got cat-called by some guy in his car as I was walking down the street in Towson.”

I kind of caught some shit for using the word “shame” and then decided I couldn’t say enough on this topic in a 140-character tweet or a Facebook comment reply, so I’d write a blog about it – a novel idea and something I haven’t done in far too long (I have Facebook set to automatically publish my tweets as status updates – a glorious invention for people like me who have diarrhea of the keyboard but not the time to update 47 different social networking statuses).

Here’s the deal: I’m not being hit on in bars or at social events. In fact, I never get hit on where you’d think I get hit on. Instead, I get hit on by people in places and situations that seem destined for failure. Yesterday, it was by a man in his car, driving through the business district of a suburban yuppie Mecca, stopped briefly by a red light. What’s the best case scenario here? I drop what I’m doing and get in? How often does that happen?

(No fucking joke, as I was typing that last sentence while sitting here in the car-dealership waiting area for my oil change to be complete, I was hit on: “I wish I could type like that, baby. Damn, you type good.” Seriously? Well, at least I know he has a car…)

Not too long ago while running at the Lake I had a man ask me if he could tell me “how good I look in those sweatpants.” One time I had to change grocery stores because the fish guy would follow me around, and then when he finally stopped working there another employee approached me in the candy aisle, asking if I’d “get him something sweet if he asked real nice.” A cop followed me home from work one afternoon, only to stop in front of my house once I got out of my car to ask me a question that’s popular around these parts: “are you married?” My all-time favorite incident, however, occurred at a mini mart. It was a nice summer day, and while we were both inside, this guy started with the “hey baby you look good” and proceeded to try to convince me to come hang out with him. When I got in the car, I noticed him parked beside me – on a mini-bike the size of a large house cat! How the fuck did he expect me to fit on there with him?! I can appreciate the effort, but part of me also wants to scold some of these gentlemen for writing a check with their mouth that their ass can’t cash.

I usually respond to these cat calls and drive-by hittings on one of two ways: I ignore them all together or I say “thank you” and leave it at that. However, over the past day I’ve really been pondering fun and unexpected responses I can pull out of my ass the next time someone wants to tell me just how good I look in my sweatpants. On one hand, I might as well come up with some witty replies, because I’m engaged by strangers like this on the regular. On the other hand, I am taken, and I don’t want to lead anyone on or get into an awkward conversation about why I’m refusing to give out my phone number. What I’ve come up with could both be fun and a sociological experiment: a business card with a link to a brief survey designed to find out the motivation behind the solicitation.

Stranger: “Damn, girl, you really know how to wait in line at the grocery store for your prescription. I like your hair. You married?”

Me: “Check out my website.”

Naturally, they assume I’m buck naked on it – hey, whatever gets them to the survey. I only need one survey respondent for every ten people I hand the card to in order to be statistically relevant (damn, girl, you’re smart and shit too). But am I really going to have enough people to whom I can distribute the cards? People, whatever you’ve heard about Alaska is wrong – they may have five men to every one woman up there, but your ass will get hit on more in Baltimore than anywhere else in the world. I’ve since left the car dealership, and on my 2-mile drive home I was hit on in traffic while at a light. It’s not called Charm City for nothing.

Survey results or no survey results, cards or no cards, I really do appreciate the feedback of strangers, because their methods keep me in a constant state of surprise and amusement; each cat call like a really fucked up greeting card, each line like a different amateur song lyric. Some days I may be caught by surprise more than others, but I’m not aggravated. It’s actually quite fun.

All My Tweets Come True!

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 15:35:24 -0700

Yesterday, after receiving a ticket for not wearing a seatbelt and then tailgating another officer while still not wearing a seatbelt, I joked about setting a record for non-moving violations. Today, I received another ticket for not wearing a seatbelt…from the same officer who gave me a ticket yesterday. I just laughed.

Yesterday, the officer asked for my license without any hint of friendliness. Today, I smiled widely and and asked him “How are you doing today?” He just shook his head. I told him “I never wear it” (I don’t believe it should be against the law, and I certainly don’t believe that people should be pulled over only for not wearing seatbelts). He wrote that it in the comments on the ticket. Huh?

Today, he tried to walk off without being friendly again. I said, “See you tomorrow!” Then he actually smiled. Surprise, surprise…he gave me a tip. Tomorrow, he will be at the Valero on Memorial writing tickets for blocking the intersection instead of chasing people down Memorial for not wearing a seatbelt. I told him “Well, I never do that!”

(Oh, and I lied about never wearing a seatbelt. My daughter usually makes me when she’s in the car. For the record, that’s three seatbelt tickets this year…I wonder if I can start a fund during open enrollment to help pay for these?…a small price to pay for libertarianism.)

Roller Derby Workout

Nia Capps — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 07:23:00 -0700

Baltimore and Tucson Men's Teams Battle In Denver

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 10:00:41 -0700

DENVER, CO -- Three-year-old Baltimore men's team Harm City Homicide ends its busiest season yet with its longest trip to date, traveling out to Denver to take on first-year Tucson Dry Heat Militia in a full-length bout.

Cincinnati & San Diego Split Flat/Banked Series

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 08:25:03 -0700

SAN DIEGO, CA -- On October 17 and 18, the San Diego Derby Dolls (SDDD) hosted the Cincinnati Rollergirls (CRG) in a bi-traxual bout weekend, playing a flat track game Saturday night and a banked track game Sunday morning. Both teams walked away with a win, CRG winning solidly on the flat track 103-71 and SDDD dominating on the banked track, 181-64.

Join us for TXRD Night at House of Torment!

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 08:22:39 -0700

Experience the Ultra-Vivid ‘Rise of the Abominations’ with
TXRD Lonestar Rollergirls Night at House of Torment & Illusion Manor
Join us on Sunday, October 25 for “TXRD Lonestar Rollergirls Night” at House of Torment and Illusion Manor! We’ve arranged for a special night for our friends and fans to celebrate the Halloween season along with a special $2 discount. Just use the promotional code “Rollergirl” when buying tickets online or say “Rollergirl” at the box office to get your discount.
Adventuresome and daring souls of all ages are invited to step into the post-apocalyptic world of nightmarish overlord Mr. Creep and his House of Torment and House of Torment as an epic struggle for survival unfolds in a vivid wasteland where civilization has collapsed and fallen prey to biological warfare, social anarchy, and widespread bedlam. With no law or prevalent power to preside, the country has degenerated into ongoing conflict between the fear-mongering Sgt. Graves and a stealth Tactical Ops Unit as well as legions of mutant inhabitants, known as The Infected, The Contagium, and the growing contingent of The Abomination uprising.
As an unparalleled Halloween destination recognized as the best by Fangoria, The Wall Street Journal, MSN, The Travel Channel, Austin American-Statesman, the Austin Chronicle, and others, House of Torment and its companion experience— Illusion Manor—offers residents and visitors from across the country an immersive thrill that goes far beyond a series of dimly lit surprises. Mind-blowing designs, effects, stories and characters await.
WHAT: House of Torment: Rise of the Abominations
Illusion Manor: Where reality ends and Nightmares Begin
WHERE: Permanent Facility in the Northeast corner of the Highland Mall Site
523 Highland Mall Blvd Austin TX 78752, 512-407-9449
WHEN: “TXRD Lonestar Rollergirls Night” on Sunday, October 25th
Open 7 pm – midnight, October 15 – November 1
WEB: www.houseoftorment.com and on www.facebook.com/HouseofTorment, www.twitter.com/houseofTorment, and MySpace
TIX: Normally $14.99, $19.99 for Combo Pass w/Illusion Manor;
Tickets are sold in 30-minute “Showtimes” so no long lines!

2009 Photos and Games

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 04:52:03 -0700

Penn Jersey She Devils
vs.
Mans Ruin

Where: International Sports Centre
1 Hovtech Blvd.; Mt. Laurel, NJ
When: Saturday, Oct 24th
Doors @ 7:30pm, game @ 8pm

Tickets are $12 on-line, but will be $15 at the door. Buy now!!

Hooligans will have an elimination Match Race at Half-Time.

PJSD vs RDD 9/12/2009

CCRE OSDA All-Star Game May 2009

CKY A#1 Roller Rager Video Shoot

April 2009

PJSD: Skate for Life

March 2009

2008 OSDA Championship Dec 2008

More Event Photos

OSDA News

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 06:36:12 -0700

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: October 20 2009

OSDA Acquires a New Member and New Events Planning Director

It is with great pleasure that I welcome to the OSDA our latest league, Chesapeake Roller Derby. Still in the organizational stages with their first season planned to begin in January of 2010, this organization already numbers over 30 people and is growing larger everyday. Skating out of the Baltimore area (Westminster, MD), the league has already acquired a Charity Partner, the American Breast Cancer Foundation, for its opening season plus an incredible facility, Shipley Arena, for its games. Run by Brandy Tomhave and her husband Jeff, I anticipate great things for this league. The OSDA is proud to have them aboard.

It is with further pleasure that I announce Brandy’s addition to the OSDA Executive Board as Co-Director of Events Planning. She will be joining Liz Lazenby in this position. Due to Brandy’s extensive business knowledge as a partner in Black Eyed Susan Skate Shop and her time on the track skating with Charm City in her alter ego of “Marzipain”, the OSDA feels honored to have her accept this position. We feel there can be no better choice to help develop OSDA’s major events for 2010.

One needs only spend a few minutes talking with Brandy and Jeff to realize their love for the “simple game” of Roller Derby. Their faith in the OSDA and their intensity in wanting to do it the “old school” way are incredible. They are sure to spread the cause of OSDA where ever they go. Once again, please join me in welcoming Chesapeake Roller Derby to the OSDA.

Kenneth Sikes
Founder/President, Old School Derby Association
www.oldschoolderbyassociation.com

DerbyLuv email FUBAR

Nia Capps — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 03:33:00 -0700

BRAWL SAINTS WIN!

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 02:49:10 -0700

Final score from last weekend’s game in Stuttgart:

Stuttgart Valley Rollergirlz 45 - 145 LRG Brawl Saints

Well done ladies and thanks to SVRG for being amazing hosts! Some photos are available here: Flickr and here: Stuttgarter Zeitung

Upcoming news: very exciting announcements about our bout on March 20th, our plans for next year, and our first attempts at world domination…

Preview: #21 Cincinnati @ #18 San Diego

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 19:14:02 -0700

SAN DIEGO, CA -- This weekend the San Diego Derby Dolls (SDDD) are hosting the Cincinnati Rollergirls (CRG) in a bi-traxual bout weekend.

WFTDA Preview: #9 Rose City @ #3 Windy City

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 00:10:28 -0700

CHICAGO, IL -- The girls from the Windy City defend their home for the last time in 2009 as Portland's Rose City Rollers come visiting this Saturday night. It's the first-ever meeting between the two squads.

WFTDA Preview: #17 Carolina @ Minnesota

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 16:51:59 -0700

ST.

End of Season HOORAHS and Blues

Nia Capps — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 05:14:00 -0700

Uncle Leon composes “Black-n-Bluegrass Blues”

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 06:26:07 -0700

Uncle Leon, of Uncle Leon and the Alibis, has put together a hot little number, in honor of one adventurous night with The Black-n-Bluegrass Rollergirls! We couldn’t be more honored and tickled! If you’re ever in Brooklyn, NY, look up Uncle Leon - and tell him The Black-n-Bluegrass Rollergirls sent ya.

Black-n-Bluegrass-Blues

2009 Calvello Cup Bout Recap

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 11:32:28 -0700

The Cherry Bombs, undefeated in the regular season, and the Hellcats, losing only one regular season bout (which was to the Cherry Bombs by ONE point), met again to battle it out for the 2009 Calvello Cup Championship. After rousing introductions including black capes sported by the Hellcats and individual weapons of choice held by the Cherry Bombs, the bout was off and rolling.
The Bombs jumped out to a quick 2-0 lead after the jam by Rocky Casbah. Lucy Cannon scored another four points for the Cherry Bombs after Honey Homicide sent Hellcat jammer Dixie Sanchez over the rail. The next few jams were very even for both teams: Daisy Mae Damage and Purr Anna battled each other for one point each; Kate or Dye and Catalac skated neck and neck for four points each. Cherry Chainsaw picked up a minor penalty and won the resulting tug of war against Kinky Kowalski. Rice Rice Baby edged out Dirty Blonde, two points to three, after Honey Homicide laid another strong hit on Dirty. Dixie Sanchez drew a minor penalty that led her to a two lap duel with Polly Urethane. She won the duel. After a two point jam by Rocky Casbah, the score at the end of the first quarter was: Cherry Bombs 16, Hellcats 6.
This ten point deficit seemed to light a fire under the Hellcats, who started the second quarter fierce and focused. Catalac opened the quarter with a grand slam five point jam. Curly Suicide followed that up with another four points. Glitterotica committed a minor penalty, and the penalty wheel landed on a pillow fight against Apeschit. Though Glitter appeared to win the battle, the crowd gave the victory to the Cherry Bombs. In the next jam, Miso Vicious beat out Kate or Dye, four points to two. Catalac then picked up another three points for the Hellcats. In doing so, she picked up a minor penalty and was soundly beaten in an arm wrestle by Rocky Casbah. Daisy Mae Damage shut out Dixie Sanchez, three to nothing, but Miso Vicious picked up a major penalty. Dixie Sanchez was able to capitalize on the penalty and take those three points right back. Kate or Dye picked up two more Cherry Bomb points after Polly Urethane railed Purr Anna. There were then penalties all over the place: Polly got a major; Dirty Blonde, a minor. Dirty Blonde defeated Lucy Cannon in the long jump. On the major penalty reskate, Purr Anna outscored Kate, three to one, to end the first half. The score: Hellcats 26, Cherry Bombs 23.
The second half of this bout began with a holdover major penalty on Dirty Blonde. Rocky Casbah ended up calling off the first jam defensively. Curly Suicide came out and continued the Hellcat effort with two points. Catalac added another four points while the Hellcat defense (led by Dirty Blonde, Purr Anna, and Glitterotica) did a great job tying up the Cherry Bomb jammers in the pack. Purr Anna won a two lap duel against Rice Rice Baby. Miso Vicious added yet another three points for her team. Lucy Cannon and Catalac skated to a three point draw. During the next jam, Cherry Chainsaw went down with a serious leg injury (which would turn out to be a broken ankle). Bout play was delayed while the paramedics tended to Cherry’s injury. She was wheeled off the track to the sound of the crowd chanting her name, and she flashed the rock and roll devil horns from her stretcher. The team captains agreed to move play to the top of the 4th Quarter.
Rocky Casbah, who the Cherry Bombs seemed to be saving for the end of the bout, started off with a big six point jam. Kate or Dye added two points, and the momentum seemed to be shifting to the Cherry Bombs. Rocky and Catalac then skated to a one point draw. Honey Homicide drew a pushcart penalty for a minor, which the Hellcats won. Miso Vicious capitalized on this momentum shift and scored four more points for the ladies in pink. Lucy Cannon answered back with one point, which was then canceled out on the next jam by Catalac, who also earned one point. Curly Suicide scored three more points for the Hellcats. Dirty Blonde and Allison Chains broke out into a fight. On the next jam, Lucy Cannon tackled Miso Vicious, and the refs stopped the jam. On the final jam of the bout, Rocky Casbah scored two points, but it would not be enough. By a score of 44 to 37, the 2009 Calvello Cup Champions were the HELLCATS!!!!
Congratulations to the skaters in pink and black! This was a close, well skated bout. A GREAT game for all of the skaters! Best wishes and speedy recoveries to both Cherry Chainsaw and Alison Chains (who was injured on the last jam). To our retiring skaters: Cherry Chainsaw, Candi Sniper, Polly Urethane and Dyna Dash for the Cherry Bombs and Dirty Blonde, Knottie Knoxville, and Ms. Amerikill for the Hellcats, THANK YOU for your dedication! You will be missed!
See you all at the Thunderdome for the 2010 Season!
Lady A

Invisibul Motorcycle

Dainty Inferno — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 16:38:00 -0700

Taken, capped and submitted by Colin Johnson, whimshot.com
Skaters (all Detroit Derby Girls): Rock Candy (driving), Sarah "Killbox" Hipel, Racer McChaseHer, Black Eyed Skeez, Cookie Rumble

Open Caption #33 (twofer!)

Dainty Inferno — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 16:34:00 -0700

And #2:

Submitted by Graffix Illuskater, Greenville Derby Dames
Photos: A Boy Named Tsunami
Skaters: Name 'em in the comments, plz!

surprize buttsecks

Dainty Inferno — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 16:29:00 -0700

Capped and submitted by Cocoa Booty, Central Arkansas Roller Derby
Photo: Eric Wyles
Skaters: Central Arkansas (purple) vs. Springfield Rollergirls: Jammer, Scrappy Sue, Kitty Kismet (CARD blocker on left)

I CAN HAZ HUG RACER?

Dainty Inferno — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 16:24:00 -0700

Capped and submitted by Soul Eater, Burning River Roller Girls
Photo: Colin Johnson
Skaters: Soul Eater (orange pivot), hugging Racer McChaseHer, Detroit Derby Girls

strangely classy octopus sofa

pigeonderby@gmail.com (Ruby Khan) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 17:33:00 -0700

I desperately want this. Have any odd jobs that need doing to the tune of $3,498 plus shipping?

Today's installment of "my displaced anger is funny, too, right? RIGHT?!"

pigeonderby@gmail.com (Ruby Khan) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 15:57:00 -0700

Skank Boot Evokes Rage

There is no double-breasted boy blazer with rolled-up sleeves that makes this OK, no top long enough. Rihanna DOES look good in 'em but Rihanna is also wearing a leotard with no pants and very beautiful sunglasses made entirely of black, opaque acrylic that maybe has an earring. Rihanna has seeing-eye-people, in the name of fashion. Rihanna could carry a Sybian and pretend it's a purse. Rihanna's boots are too scared to look bad on Rihanna. Rihanna is Rihanna. She runs this town.

#14 Detroit Runs Over #13 Madison, 275-76

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 13:09:48 -0700

DETROIT, MI -- The last time Detroit and Madison met, on September 19 in the semifinals of the WFTDA North Central regional tournament, Madison came from behind to defeat Detroit 105-97 in a gut-wrenching game. That sent Madison to the tournament's championship bout and Detroit to the third-place bout.

DNN Releases October 2009 Power Rankings

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 00:01:01 -0700

We apologize for the slight delay in getting October's edition of the Power Rankings out, but we feel like we've got a pretty good excuse this time out.

Hell on Wheels available on iTunes

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 23:53:29 -0700

for reals, yo:

http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewMovie?id=333912438&s=143441

Moving Forward

Cindy Lop-her — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 06:49:00 -0700

After a month of sulking, eating candy at night like it’s my second job, and reading a handful of articles about unconscious self-sabotage, I’ve come to the revelation that there may be no resolution as to why I fucked myself up so much in the month of September, rendering myself unable to attend Regionals, finish my home season, or just exercise like a normal person. As of late, several things have become apparent to me: I’ll never know why this happened, so I should stop fixating on it, and this self-deprecating environment I’ve vacationed in for the last month is about as useful as keying one’s own car (which, coincidentally I did back in college one drunken night to “see how it would feel to have your car keyed”). It’s time to move on.

Derby has been my outlet for nearly 5 years, and when it hasn’t been my outlet, running has. Rendering myself unable to do either has been extremely difficult, but I have learned a thing or two from being in this situation.

First, although it does about 80% of the time, derby should not define me. I’ve let this happen, and I live a very unbalanced life because of it. Just like you shouldn’t let your job define who you are, you shouldn’t let your hobby do that either. If you let your job define you and then you get laid off, you lose yourself; if you let derby define you and then you cannot skate, you lose yourself also. Although derby’s a big part of my life, I need to pull back and make sure I’m not using it as a crutch for not doing other things. For instance, over the past few weeks I’ve been panicking at the idea of no longer skating (even though I plan on skating next year). When I was finally able to get to the bottom of “why”, it was because I’m afraid that I won’t be as successful at anything else as I have been in derby, which, when I really thought about it was really disturbing, because I’m not even a “great” skater. I work my ass off to be mediocre on my travel team. I do derby because I love it, but I don’t not do derby because I’m scared not to. I need to evaluate what other things I want to accomplish in life, and if next season is the last for me, then I need to be prepared to use the same fierce attitude I have with derby with whatever else I choose to pursue.

Second, there’s more than one way to skin a cat. Being mildly non-ambulatory is no excuse to give up the things that I say I love, like exercise. After weeks of whining to myself that I couldn’t skate or run, so I couldn’t do anything to stay in shape, a friend of mine popped into my mind as I was strapping on my air cast one morning. This friend has had chronic medical problems since birth, wasn’t expected to live past childhood, and has even landed himself in critical condition in the hospital several times since we met over ten years ago. He, too, uses something like an air cast (a leg brace), only he uses a brace on both legs every single day of his life. He’s also one of the buffest motherfuckers I know. He technically can’t run or skate either, and he has the further disadvantage of having a brace on both legs, so why the hell can’t I think outside of the box and employ strategies other than skating or running to keep my physical fitness in check? There’s no reason I couldn’t have done pushups and crunches and all sorts of upper-body exercises while I was on crutches. I’m currently at the point where I can use the stationary bicycle at PT, which means I could use one at the gym too. I need to start incorporating movement I can do back into my life, so I’m no longer a prime-time zombie with a part-time candy-eating job.

Third, it’s easy to stay in a slump, but there’s no good reason to do so. I could continue to beat myself up about being a couch-surfing laffy-taffy hog, but what does that do aside from encourage me to perfect my ass-groove and hate myself even more than I did the day before? For some reason I lingered in this state way longer than I typically have, and I don’t know why, but it’s time to put those ways aside and resume enjoying life and respecting myself.

Fourth, I need to learn to adapt to the unexpected inconveniences in life. This past month proved to me that I need to be more flexible in how I do things and how I feel about doing things that may be different than I’m used to. Just because I can’t do 100% what I want doesn’t mean I should do nothing at all. I’m a pretty selfish person. I have no kids, I have a good job, and I pretty much do what I want when I want and how I want, so you can see how having to adapt how I do things could throw a monkey wrench in my mental expectations of how things should be. This need for flexibility without emotional turmoil is actually something I learned from my mom. The day I sprained my ankle, we planned to go out for my birthday and I was so upset that our plans were ruined. My mom’s casual response of “that’s life – just deal with it and move on” seemed very out of character to me at the time, but I eventually realized that she has probably learned the hardest way there is that life doesn’t always go as planned, so you’ve just got to roll with the punches – no use in letting things out of our control upset us.

So, it’s time to move forward. Skating’s still out of the question for 6 weeks or so, and by then we’ll be in the middle of our off-season break anyhow, so I’m just going to plan on coming back in January like everyone else taking a break. I’ll run when I can, and I’ll try not to push it (risking re-injury, which would be a royal bitch). In the meanwhile, I’ll walk and maybe do the bike at the gym. I’ll try and stick to my original goal of using time I would have spent at practices during the off-season to write. And perhaps most importantly, I won’t obsess over or dwell on why things happen or what if other things happen in the future (like immediate re-injury of my neck or ankle once I’m back on skates). And as for that part-time candy-eating job, I’m resigning just as soon as I get home this evening – wish me luck, because you know how hard it is for me to give up responsibility.

DID YOU SEE US ON THE BBC?

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 04:57:26 -0700

For those of you who are early birds on Saturday morning, yes that was us you may have seen whizzing by on BBC Breakfast!

For those of you who aren’t (like me) you can see the video here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8286877.stm

Facebook and Social Networking - and your team's reputation

Nia Capps — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 03:20:00 -0700

Tryouts this Sunday! All Skill Levels Welcome!

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 14:40:19 -0700

Forest City Derby Girls get their revenge on Rideau Valley

Nia Capps — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 02:53:00 -0700

WHIP IT! Totally won me over

Nia Capps — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 17:13:00 -0700

Western Regionals Capsule Recaps

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 13:35:28 -0700

Sunday Bouts | Saturday Bouts | Friday Bouts

Yours Truly Reviews Whip It

Cindy Lop-her — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 02:58:00 -0700

Check out my movie review in Gutter Magazine.

WHIP IT! is finally out!

Nia Capps — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 01:11:00 -0700

Shit Happens... Sometimes Sequentially

Cindy Lop-her — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:40:00 -0700

To say I’ve had writer’s block lately would be an understatement. In fact, not only have I been unable to put pen to paper in any logical manner, but I’ve also been unable to form much of a cohesive thought that didn’t involve my pure frustration or anger for this end-of-season plagues of injuries. That’s right, I said injuries – as in plural, multiple injuries.

After 3 weeks of being unable to do much of anything because of the herniated neck disk, I was finally feeling good enough on Saturday to ignore my physical therapist’s orders and go for a run. Running clears my head, and after no more than a quarter mile, I was finally thinking straight and could articulate in my mind why I had been in such a panic about not being able to skate or run for an indefinite amount of time. Then it hit me – not another profound thought, the ground. I was so engrossed in thought, almost at a dead sprint, when I rolled my foot in the pothole I never saw coming. Fuck, not again. Just as soon as I was again beginning to feel alive – head cleared, lungs burning – POOF! Right back where I was: condemned to my fucking sofa and horrible Wednesday-night fucking television. Fuck.

Unable to put weight on it as I got up from the ground, I sat on the curb and looked down at my incredibly-inflating ankle, trying to assess the practicality of the situation. The lake is 1.3 miles around, and I was approximately .75 miles from my car in either direction. I couldn’t put weight on it, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to crawl back with dog in tow. “This can’t be happening,” I thought. I scrambled to call J to come get me.

I thought I broke it, because it looked a lot like the lower-leg breaks I’ve seen first hand in derby. It was instantly profoundly swollen – nearly twice the size of my other ankle. I had visions of an overnight stay in the hospital, surgery, and hardware – the trifecta that so many of my teammates have had to face over the years. There was no chance of denying the severity of whatever had just happened because it looked fucking scary. The instant physical deformity made any hope of a quick recovery seem as foolish as hoping Santa would come the year after you found out he didn’t exist. After the neck injury and the whole missing Regionals, I was grasping at straws though, wanting nothing more than to “get back to normal”, which apparently is just not in the cards for me right now.

Before I bit it in the pothole I realized that I was angry and depressed not because my active lifestyle was briefly interrupted, but because I’m terrified that with each passing day that I cannot skate or run I will be one step closer to reverting back to that person I was five years ago – the rollergirl who wanted to be called a rollergirl, but who didn’t really want to have to do anything too difficult or athletic in order to look cool, the person who was so out of shape and in poor health that she was on medication to lower her blood pressure, the girl with the pretty face who had such poor self-esteem that she couldn’t even see that, well, at least she had a pretty face even if she didn’t have the body to match. Yes, I’m terrified that like an ex-junkie I’ll relapse into a junk-food filled sedentary lifestyle, and by the time I am able to resume the active lifestyle I’ve grown to love, I’ll no longer have the desire to do so.

With previous injuries, I’ve used my time off-skates to be sure I’m extra cautious about eating right, so my body is as prepared as it can be when I have clearance to resume derby. Not this time. September 8th marked the beginning of the binging that has not stopped. I’m so terrified about what I’m going to do to myself that it’s even crossed my mind to retire from derby now, in order to save face in 2 months when I’m so out of shape that I can’t keep up with my teams. I realize this thought is a ridiculous one, and I also realize that by having it, I’m giving myself permission to fail, and that scares the shit out of me.

The good news is that I now know what I’m afraid of, which means I can take steps to keep my fears from becoming a reality. Exactly how remains to be seen, but I’ll figure it out.

The ankle is sprained, not broken, and I’ve already gotten off the crutches, into an air cast, and started some very painful physical therapy to help it heal faster and more completely (apparently after you sprain an ankle it’s very easy to do it again). I’m quickly becoming good friends with everyone at the Sports Medicine clinic, since I’m now there nearly every day for either my neck or my ankle. Booking new appointments, however, is like reciting “Who’s on First” with the person behind the desk who can’t get that although I was just there for my neck, I need to make more appointments for my ankle. But I’m patient. Let’s face it, I have the time and there’s no reason to be an asshole.

“Everything happens for a reason,” is something I’ve heard more times than I can shake a stick at. Does it really? Cause right now I’m feeling more of a “Shit Happens” vibe. I’m not ready for the nice-and-tidy happy blog wrap-up quite yet, so you’re gonna have to wait for that just a little bit longer. Perhaps we can learn together that patience is a virtue.

Hollywood’s Version of Derby

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 13:06:35 -0700

I’ve been quiet about this foolishness too long. I have to get it off my congested chest. The way flat-track roller derby has climbed onto the coattails of a movie about banked-track roller derby is driving me crazy.

Flat-track skaters sit around bitching and moaning about how flat-track derby is not your momma’s roller derby and it’s a legitimate “sport” with rules and what-not and blah blah blah. Then we all turn around and kiss Drew Barrymore’s ass because she learned how to roller skate and made a movie about it. How about this little gem from one of the “trainers” who explains she couldn’t even do a 360 when teaching the movie stars? That’s the crap you’re telling Hollywood it’s ok to spoon-feed us, when you’ve got derby girls in your own backyard who can do so much more.

I just don’t get it. Flat-track puts all these rules in place, practices as much as professional athletes do to set up a grassroots sport, distances itself from the history of banked-track, and lets Hollywood come along with a gimic to put it right back where it started, with a new generation of fans believing roller derby is still the same ol’ stuff.

OK, fine…that actually suits my style better. I have nothing against banked-track; in fact, that’s what I grew up dreaming of doing. Still would if I had the chance, but life goes on for the common (wo)man and sometimes dreams just aren’t a part of it. But I spent three years of my life trying to do something more rewarding, and it’s hard to reconcile the two for me. I’m sure it’s a great movie, but it’s not about what I lived or what thousands of other flat-track skaters are still living. I just wish it was about “modern” roller derby. I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who feels this way.

So bring on the hate mail. I can take it. I’m a real derby girl.

Western Regionals Preview

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 14:26:06 -0700

DENVER, CO -- The four weeks of WFTDA Regionals come to an end this weekend, with the Western Regionals co-hosted by Denver Roller Dolls and the Rocky Mountain Roller Girls in Denver, a/k/a Derby On The Rocks.

Nia Capps is Back in Black Baby!

Nia Capps — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 16:08:00 -0700

really they were harpies

pigeonderby@gmail.com (Ruby Khan) — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 19:31:00 -0700

"Twelve Stories" by Ray Fenwick at Tiny Showcase.

Whip It Premiere!

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 13:10:05 -0700

Click the image below for details on the “Whip It” Premiere this Friday!

TXRD presents a silent auction to benefit Keep-a-Breast Foundation

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 07:19:53 -0700

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

TXRD LONESTAR ROLLERGIRLS
P.O. Box 49256 | Austin, TX 78765 | info@txrd.com

Contact:
Michelle Durbin
misshell@txrd.com
512.487.0770

September 28, 2009-Austin, TX The Hellcats will battle against the undefeated Cherry Bombs for the 2009 Calvello Cup Championship, but the real fight of the evening will be on behalf of boobies! The TXRD—Lonestar Rollergirls will hold a silent auction in support of the Keep-a-Breast Foundation during their final bout of the season on Saturday, October 10 at the Austin Convention Center.

On the auction block will be several plaster casts of skaters’ breasts that have been painted by local artists including Rodger Roundy, Michael Sieben, Cindy ‘Crash’ Raschke, Tim Sorensen, Stacey Martin, Kate ‘Kate or Dye’ Wissman, Heather ‘Daisy Mae Damage’ Roach, and Aubrey ‘Lacy Bones’ Hooser, amongst many others. We would like to extend our thanks to Jerry’s Artarama for their gracious plaster donation and to Michelle ‘Miss Hell’ Durbin for coordinating the breast casting parties.

The Keep-A-Breast Foundation is a non-profit organization seeking to increase breast cancer awareness among young people. Breast cast auctions are their primary fundraisers and use artistic expression to keep youth educated.

Well-timed with the premiere of Drew Barrymore’s upcoming new movie, Whip It, which was inspired by TXRD, the Lonestar Rollergirls will be hitting up the town for various promotional opportunities. Discounted skater tickets and the chance to chill with some rollergirls will be available at the following places, dates and times:

Tuesday, September 29 @ AMC Barton Creek, 7:30 pm
Thursday, October 1 @ 1711 S. Congress, between Front Gate Tickets and the fire station, 5:00pm
Thursday, October 1 @ Alamo Ritz, Midnight
Friday, October 2 @ Regal Cinemas Gateway 16, 6pm -10pm (2 screenings)
Friday, October 2 @ Alamo Ritz, 6pm
Saturday, October 3 @ Regal Cinemas Westgate, 6pm -10pm (2 screenings)
Weird Wednesday, October 7 @ Alamo Ritz – Unholy Rollers, Midnight

TXRD—Lonestar Rollergirls is a skater-owned and operated sports and entertainment company based in Austin, Texas. Founded in 2001 by four She-E-Os, the Lonestar Rollergirls are local favorites that perfectly blend the “Keep Austin Weird” attitude with a free-wheeling pursuit of fun, athleticism, and competition.

Will the indestructible Cherry Bombs take home the Cup, or will the hearty Hellcats claim the championship title? Catch some boobies AND a one-way ticket to titillating all-girl banked-track roller derby!

The Austin Convention Center is located at 500 E. Cesar Chavez. Doors will open at 6 p.m., and the first whistle blows at 7 p.m. For ticket information, visit www.txrd.com or ask a rollergirl.

Black-n-Blue Bash!

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 07:06:01 -0700

Madonna Sexy Celebration

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 23:03:20 -0700

Something else sexy. Shakira – She Wolf

Texas Rollergirls Old School Commercial

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 21:38:40 -0700

2009-2010 SEASON DATES!

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 04:32:52 -0700

the wait is almost over… we are nearly back in action! Here’s the dates for our new season!

10th October 2009: Stuttgart Valley Rollergirlz vs LRG Brawl Saints (in Stuttgart - www.rollergirlz.de for tickets)
5th December 2009: Steam Rollers vs Ultraviolent Femmes
6th February 2010: Suffra Jets vs Ultraviolent Femmes
20th March 2010: LRG London Brawling vs SUPER EXCITING SECRET OPPONENTS (TBA)
22nd May 2010 Steam Rollers vs Suffra Jets
17th July 2010 Season Championship

Stay tuned for venue and ticket details. All dates are subject to change.

Freakshow at Tri-City Thunder for FCDG Thames Fatales

Nia Capps — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 14:19:00 -0700

South Central Regionals Capsule Recaps

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 14:18:00 -0700

Sunday Bouts | Saturday Bouts | Friday Bouts

South Central Regional Preview

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 15:38:21 -0700

ATLANTA, GA -- The four weeks of WFTDA Regionals continue in the South this Friday, September 25, as the Atlanta Rollergirls host the penultimate event in the cycle, the South Central tournament -- a/k/a the Southern Fried Smackdown.

Texas Monthly plugs HELL ON WHEELS

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 11:16:49 -0700

http://www.texasmonthly.com/2009-10-01/hollywoodtx.php

Big Wheels: Want to know how they really roll?

If you’re curious about the historical underpinnings of Whip It’s fictional story, check out Bob Ray’s documentary Hell on Wheels, which chronicles the formation of BGGW (Bad Girl, Good Woman), one of the Austin leagues responsible for the current roller derby renaissance. (The film is on DVD, but you can also watch it for free at snagfilms.com.) After premiering at South by Southwest, in 2007, Hell on Wheels played at a number of other festivals but never found theatrical release, perhaps because a rollicking first third gives way to a slightly picayune chronicle of labor disputes and intraleague squabbles. Still, Ray captures some delightful sights, including scenes from the very first matches featuring the Holy Rollers, and he puts forth a spirited portrait of a group of sometimes difficult but extremely determined women who took a man’s exploitative idea and skated with it to feminist glory.

#11 Boston Buries #18 Pikes Peak, 298-22

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 22:44:30 -0700

BOSTON, MA -- The Boston Massacre wrapped up their home season on Saturday with a huge win, sending the visiting Pikes Peak Derby Dames home with a final score of 298-22.

Whip It Sneak Preview Saturday

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 13:12:33 -0700

Fox Searchlight announced today a national sneak preview for Whip It, this Saturday September 26 at select theaters nationwide. Tickets are available at Fandango.com.

Best roller derby article yet

pigeonderby@gmail.com (Ruby Khan) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 13:39:00 -0700

This is definitely the least lazy, least stereotype-y, least "hey we gotta fill space in the lifestyle section" article on modern derby I've ever seen. And touches on a huge part of the experience that I don't think many people outside of our neglected spouses and closest friends really comprehend:

What most people don't realize is that roller derby -- an amateur affair, with nonprofit, skater-owned teams competing for fun and bragging rights -- doesn't pay.

My arthritic knees are ALL FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT! And let's not even talk about the hours of meetings, committee work, trying to tactfully debate with people who think their job is your job and who do no job when you do nine jobs, etc. etc. etc. that comes from being passionate about a volunteer activity.

That said, I have 6 practices and 20 days until the championship bout and then I am done with roller derby. This three months of waiting just to finish the season is sucking all of the remaining joy and regret out of my soul at an alarming rate. Roller derby is dead to me. Long live mother fucking roller derby!

Hellcat vs Rhinestone Cowgirl Playoff Bout Recap 09

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 09:25:39 -0700

Hellcats vs Rhinestone Cowgirls— Sept. 12, Playoff bout

The Hellcats and the Rhinestone Cowgirls met on Saturday, September 12th to decide who would face off against the Cherry Bombs in the Calvello Cup championship. Both teams came pumped up with energy and ready to skate.
Miso Vicious started the Hellcats off with a bang by scoring a grand slam five point jam. The next two jams were much tighter, with Curly Suicide scoring three points to Kategory 5’s one point. Dixie Sanchez and Miss Canada stayed hot on each other’s heels to score four and three points, respectively. The Rhinestones showed their fighting spirit by picking up two major penalties (one on Natorious and one on Mummy Dearest) before the first minor penalty was called for the bout. Kinky Kowalsky won an arm wrestle in the first of what would be a dominant penalty night for her. Rollergazm picked up three points to even things out a bit for the Cowgirls. The next jams would continue to be very close, with both jammers fighting their way through tough packs and staying on stride with each other. Catalac scored one point to Evilynn Carnit’s zero; Kategory 5 scored four over Dixie Sanchez’s three; and Curly Suicide and Miss Canada skated a two point draw. The Rhinestones were victorious in both a relay race penalty and a long jump (performed gracefully by Kategory 5). Miso Vicious added one more point for the Hellcats in the last jam of the quarter, bringing the score to: Hellcats 17, Rhinestone Cowgirls 12.
Miso Vicious again started the second quarter for the Hellcats, scoring two points and shutting out Miss Canada. Kategory 5 answered back with a four point jam. Miso Vicious stepped to the jam line again and scored an unprecedented 9 POINT JAM!!!!! This surpassed Chola’s old record of eight points in a single jam. Clearly this was a career night for Miso Vicious. On the next jam, Curly Suicide made a sweet move through the pack to pick up three points over Miss Canada’s two. Kinky Kowalsky won a pillow fight for the Hellcats. Dixie Sanchez added her own five point grand slam jam. Miso Vicious then scored another six points for her team. This lady was on fire! Kinky Kowalsky won a tug of war minor penalty. Catalac scored three points to Miss Canada’s one. A scoreless jam between Dirty Blonde and Rollergazm ended a dominant second quarter by the Hellcats. Score at the half: Hellcats 45, Rhinestone Cowgirls 17.
The third quarter began with one point scored by Curly Suicide. Miso Vicious and Kategory 5 then skated to a very tough four/four draw. Kinky Kowalsky won yet another tug of war for her team. Kategory 5 scored another four points for the Rhinestone Cowgirls, while Dixie Sanchez scored just one point. Mummy Dearest picked up her second major penalty, and Catalac won an arm wrestling penalty. Purr Anna, a strong defensive force for the Hellcats, went down with a mild ankle sprain that would keep her out of the rest of the bout. On the next jam, Miso Vicious was on her way to a big score when she was tackled by Miss Canada. Miss Canada, not surprisingly, picked up a major penalty. On the reskate, Miso scored six points. On that jam, Diablo picked up a minor penalty. This led to the most epic two lap duel ever, skated between Diablo and Curly Suicide. The lead on this duel changed at least four times; Diablo was ahead just before the finish line when she lost her footing and fell. Curly Suicide got past her for the win. Amazing duel!!!! Two more close jams followed: Kategory 5 scored two points over Catalac’s one; Dirty Blonde scored three points over Miss Canada’s one. Score at the end of the third quarter: Hellcats 62, Rhinestone Cowgirls 27.
Knottie Knoxville and Rollergazm started the fourth quarter at the jam line. Curly Suicide and Skate Wolf went down for a prolonged fight. Knox and Rollergazm passed by them several times, with Knox scoring nine points in the jam and Rollergazm scoring four. The Hellcats were clearly calling off the big guns somewhat and giving some other skaters their chance at jamming. Moxie Rotten and Kategory 5 faced off, with Kategory 5 picked up a five point grand slam. A major penalty on Dixie Sanchez (her third minor) led to a reskate, where Kat 5 picked up four more points for her team. Miss Canada was hurt on the next jam; a major penalty was called on Knottie Knoxville. On the reskate, Miso Vicious scored two points for the Hellcats. Kategory 5 won a pillow fight with Mona Littlemore. Miss Amerikill and Kategory 5 faced off, with Kat 5 scoring another four points, and Miss Amerikill scoring one. Kinky Kowalsky won another arm wrestle penalty. Catalac scored two points jamming against Mummy Dearest, and Kategory 5 scored four points against Mona Littlemore. On the final jam, Miss Canada scored a big nine points for her team. But these points would not be enough. The final score: Hellcats 86, Rhinestone Cowgirls 47.
This sets up a thrilling Calvello Cup: the Cherry Bombs vs the Hellcats. Both of these teams want it bad! When they met during the regular season, the bout was decided by one point on the last jam. Break out your pink or your green, and join us on October 10. See you at the Thunderdome!
Lady A

Crude City defeats Spindletop

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 08:20:42 -0700

Crude City Roller Derby utilized a stingy defense, and a consistent offense to defeat the Spindletop Rollergirls of Beaumont, 116-50 Saturday night in Robstown, Texas.

The home team 3rd Coast Offenders opened up the bout with strong skating as Lit Mis Psychlone scored a 10-4 jam, followed by a 5-0 jam by Private Been Jamming’ (PBJ). Lit Mis Psychlone scored a 9-0 jam in the fourth jam of the first half as Crude City increased its lead to 24-4.

Spindletop tightened up its defense and shut out the home team for the next three jams. AndyConDuh scored the largest jam of the bout for the team from Beaumont with nine points in the seventh jam, and Slam followed up with a two point jam for the team in white narrowing the 3rd Coast lead to 24-15 after eight jams.

Both teams traded scoring jams until the 12th jam when Spindletop struck again. Ruby Ridikule scored a 7-0 jam for the visiting team to narrow the lead to 30-26. However, Crude City shut out the team in white for the last four jams of the half.

Private Been Jammin’ scored a 9-0 jam for 3rd Coast in the 13th jam, and Lit Mis Psychlone finished out the half scoring a 4-0 final jam. That gave the 3rd Coast Offenders a 46-26 lead at halftime.

The Crude City Roller Derby solidified their defense in the second half. The visiting team was able to score only twice in the first eleven jams of the second half. The 3rd Coast Offenders earned lead jammer in eight of those jams, and outscored Spindletop 29-9 in the first eleven jams.

In the 12th jam, the home team scored its biggest jam of the night. Lit Mis Psychlone scored a 14-0 jam, and Private Been Jammin’ followed up with a 4-0 jam in the 13th jam. That gave Crude City a 98-35 lead with less than ten minutes left in the bout.

The team from Beaumont struck back with a 4-0 jam by Ruby Ridicule, and a 3-2 jam by Wildcat to narrow the margin a bit. But Lit Mis Psychlone and PBJ each struck back with 5-0 jams to move the lead out to 110-47.

AndyConDuh scored a 4-2 jam for Spindletop, and each team scored four points in the final jam as the clock ran out. The final score of 116-50 was posted on the scoreboard and, after a little celebration, the Corpus Christi area team took a victory lap.

Perhaps the most important statistic of the bout was Crude City gaining lead jammer status 21 times, compared to Spindletop’s six times. This allowed the home team to limit the opposing team’s scoring and control the great majority of scoring opportunities all bout long.

The top scorer for the 3rd Coast Offenders and the bout was Lit Mis Psychlone with 60 points. Private Been Jammin’ scored 43 points, and gained lead jammer status nine out of ten jams for the home team. Creepshow scored nine points for the Crude City skaters. Leading blockers for the home team were Texas T, Sideshow Sally, Brat Poison, and Stealth.

Leading scorers for the Spindletop Rollergirls were AndyConDuh with 18 points, Ruby Ridikule with 11 points, and Sadie Mae Care with 10 points. Top blockers for the team from Beaumont included Messica, Eradica, Wildcat, and Crush Limb-Brawl.

Phil Arnold,
Roller Derby Is Sport

Derby Body Image Survey

Cindy Lop-her — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 02:15:00 -0700

Hey, ladies of derby!

Kiddo from Arch Rival Roller Girls is collecting skater-imput regarding body image for an essay. You can help her out by filling out the survey here.

Here's an excerpt from my final answer to the survey:

"Secretly, I think people want to believe that fat can still be fit and they want a hero that's "imperfect" (like them), but it's rare to see normal people excelling at something in the spotlight, and derby does provide the venue for anyone to shine."

2009: Going out with a... Slow Hiss?

Cindy Lop-her — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 05:32:00 -0700

Well, it’s been a good long while since I’ve written last, and I’ve honestly been dreading coming back on here. Four days before Eastern Regionals I woke up in a shit-ton of pain, completely unable to move my head. I quickly found out it was a herniated disk and pinched nerve that would cause me to miss the trip to Carolina with my team. Oh yeah, and it was also my birthday. Happy birthday to me – injured again.

The neck injury didn’t necessarily come from derby. The docs say it could have been a long-time coming and virtually anything could have triggered it. I had been sailing the day before when a storm unexpectedly popped up. I’m a rather inexperienced sailor and was at the helm at the time. We went from 5 knots to 12 in two seconds, and everyone on the deck was thrown to one side of the boat, including me.

Set to be leaving for Carolina on Thursday, I didn’t tell my team about my neck until Tuesday night. Part of me had managed to hold out hope that my neck would miraculously correct itself and I’d wake up one day soon just fine, but after several days of being unable to look left and right before I crossed the street I realized that if I couldn’t turn my head, there was no way in hell I could play derby. Driving home from work, I called LQ crying. I begged her not to say anything to anyone else on the team, because in the teeny-tiny chance I woke up fine tomorrow, I didn’t want to be benched because my captains had heard about it. After several more hours of internal debate about what I could do and what I should do, and after about an hour hiding under the covers, I got up and emailed my team the news – I wouldn’t be joining them at Regionals. It may have been the single most difficult self-regulatory decision I’ve ever had to make as an adult.

Everything I’ve worked so hard to accomplish this year was just building up to this. My goal was to play in Regionals with my team, yet somehow knowing I would have played had I not been injured is not the same as actually playing. I took a tiny bit of comfort in my teammates’ well wishes and encouragements to “get better so you can play with us at Nationals!” Then on Sunday all of our dreams were smashed, as we lost to Boston and were rejected a trip to Nationals. Fuck.

It’s true that I’m heartbroken that we won’t be making it to Nationals – and not just for selfish reasons – but what’s worst of all is that I have this overwhelming feeling of having unfinished business. I’m not ready for our season to be over. I want more. I want to play more! I’m not the only one, I know.

This past Saturday was the 1st bout my mom has attended since my dad died, and it killed me not to skate. On Friday night I had 2 glasses of wine, and convinced I was invincible, I sent a text to both my captains and our bench coach telling them that I would be playing tomorrow. I had to rescind that offer early Saturday morning when reality again set in. They all want me to rest up for our championship bout, but I realized this morning after traction as I was laying in a dark room with a heating pad that smelled like a foot around my neck that the championship bout is 4 weeks away, and I can’t so much as think about getting back on skates for another 3 weeks. Double fuck. I haven’t told my team yet…

So, that’s it. Without fanfare, without a trip to Regionals or Nationals, and without being able to even finish out my home season, my 2009 season has ended. Done.

I know what I need to do is take inventory of how much actual progress I have made since January, but I just can’t right now. I think I need to have my little depressed fit, I need to cry, and I may even need to throw things (without twisting or making any motions that would compress my spine, of course). God, I hate being injured.

I’ll get over this soon, and then I’ll really be able to reflect on the progress I made this season. Stay tuned.

FCDG - Thames Fatales 2010 Pin up Calendar available!

Nia Capps — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 01:53:00 -0700

I can haz nap?

Dainty Inferno — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 17:13:00 -0700

Submitted by Brittney L.
Capped by Slaughter-Kinney, Rainy City Roller Dolls
Photo by PDXSharkey
Skaters: In green, Death Ro of Duke City Muñecas Muertas, unknown Rose City skater (name her in the comments, plz!)

Open Caption #32

Dainty Inferno — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 17:08:00 -0700

Submitted by Steffen Razor, Silicon Valley Roller Girls
Photo: Kelco
Skaters: Aim DeKill (SVRG, in purple) and Angelina Rollie, Santa Cruz Derby Girls

TXRD is travelin’ to Snyder, Texas, Sept 26th!

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 10:17:39 -0700

fishnets – check !

skates – check !

pads, helmet, axe, brass knuckles, tiara – check !

BANKED TRACK – CHECK!!!

TXRD will be traveling with our banked-track in tow next weekend to skate and party in West Texas!! YEEEEHAW!! So if you’re traveling out West, look for the red, white and blue pads and kickrails flailing out of our trailer! We are looking forward to meeting new fans, causin’ roucous in a new part of Texas, and spreadin’ the TXRD derby gospel!

In this exposition bout we are mixin’ it up and dividing skaters into two teams.
BAD GIRLS vs GOOD WOMEN

Anyone, interested in tailgaitin’ in West Texas? Come help us build our track!

If not, see y’all on October 10th for the Calvello Cup Championship Hellcats vs Cherry Bombs! You don’t wanna miss that one!

LIVE & BLEED TXRD!!!!

Beef and Beer

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 05:07:49 -0700

Beef and Beer for Ken

Fundraiser for Papa Bear

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=124693499426&ref=mf

Place: Sheffield Tavern, 44501 Sheffield Ave, Philadelphia PA (Mayfair section)

Time: November 28th, 2009 8PM to Midnight

Tickets: $20 Available from She Devils

Ticket price includes Roast Beef, Meatballs, Pasta Salad, Hoagie Portions, Soda, and 2 types of Beer

Fifty/Fifty Drawing to be held

Moves and changes

Kari T. Ryder Wilkie — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 06:09:00 -0700

Big changes in my life mean big changes in my roller derby life. Mr. Mayhem got a job in Washington DC, so that means we have moved to our national's capitol. And what is the first thing I did? You guessed it! I got in touch with the DC Rollergirls and was at a practice 2 days after arriving. Yeehaw! Can I just say how awesome derby is? I've been in town only a couple of weeks and I already have a bunch of new friends. The DCRG girls have been super awesomely welcoming and I can't wait to get on a team and start kicking ass!

Wocation

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 16:39:20 -0700

Work + Vacation = Wocation? I love going to California for work, so to me, it is a bit of a vacation. The hotel is comfy, the coworkers are friendly, and the scenery is aesthetically pleasing. Plus I’m on my own schedule, not a six-year-old’s, and there’s Trader Joe’s. Sounds like a perfect reason for a made-up word. I still can’t wait to get back to my hometown.

Just wanted to share that mainly because I couldn’t make an entire post about the fact that I got a REAL comment today on my last post that was over a month ago. (Update on my last post: waiting till October 1st!).

Whatever - I heart Roller Derby

Nia Capps — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 04:13:00 -0700

Being Proactive

Raven Von Kaos — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 16:13:00 -0700

ughhhh

pigeonderby@gmail.com (Ruby Khan) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 17:26:00 -0700

Hey, remember when I worked for this lady's previous company and when they went bankrupt I lost a third of my year's income in unpaid invoices with no chance of recovering any of it? When I was 24 and could totally afford that kind of thing? (Not to mention the unpaid basket-making Rwandan widows and the like.) That company was so legendarily baffling that I still get asked about it when people see it in my portfolio: "What was that like? Did people there really think that business model was viable?"

Fashion magazines may be hurting, but Amber Chand's business is booming. She sells handicrafts made by women in conflict-ridden areas of the world, and despite the recession, she's doing very well.

OH I AM SO GLAD!

Ugh. F-U, internet.

September 26th Double Header

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 09:08:22 -0700

Volunteers

Its our season ender, and we need volunteers! Please contact Tank if you are interested in helping!

Tickets now available online!

Skills. Attitude. Perception.

Raven Von Kaos — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 09:33:00 -0700

What to do now?

Raven Von Kaos — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 11:13:00 -0700

birthday weekend commences

pigeonderby@gmail.com (Ruby Khan) — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 13:12:00 -0700

This is exactly what it's going to be like, but with more cocktails and derangement and fewer tiger cubs chewing on tampon applicators while giving the sad eyes.

sing it like you mean it

pigeonderby@gmail.com (Ruby Khan) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 10:13:00 -0700

Nia Capps tries again - 35 and Back on Skate - and doing P90X

Nia Capps — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 05:44:00 -0700

Going Away to Windy City

Cindy Lop-her — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 12:13:00 -0700

Going Away for Windy City

The woman on my left has a bad case of the tofu farts - you know, the brand of vegetarian fart that smells the way I envision hot rubber would smell. Not tire rubber, but the kind of rubber that condoms are made out of - latex, I suppose.

The man on my rght is worse than the woman on my left, only because the frequency with whch I smell the stench eminating from his filthy mouth is mere seconds apart with each exhale. I can only describe the smell of this man as 'dirty teeth'. You know how if you haven't flossed in a while and you dislodge something you somehow missed there's a smell of rotting food mixed with the worst case of halitosis ever? That's what I smell with every exhale of my travel mate - every 5 seconds.

What's worse, these smells are makng me have to concentrate very hard to not throw up right here. And here's the kicker, if I puke, I think United Airlines is gonna call the police to pick me up at the gate. Before takeoff, Rosie the Rioter was inquiring about the empty row ahead of me. She and I are both riding bitch on this flimsy piece of shit plane, yet we are not allowed to sit in the empty seats because they are 'premium economy' seats that, if they had been sold, people sitting there would have paid extra for. After noticing Rosie arguing across the aisle with the flight attendant, I take off my head phones to join in with the fun.

"You mean no one can EVER sit there during this flight," I ask. "What if someone were to get sick and puke all overhimself or his neighbor - the person wouldn't even be moved then, to get the other passengers away from the puke?"

"No," the attendant said. "We'd get something for you to help clean yourself up where you're sitting."

"Really," I ask. "Even if you puke???"

"Are you feeling sick?"

"Not particularly, but I might."

Time passes and the attendant is packing up the cabin by me agian, when Rosie starts back with him. I can't hear what she's saying, but I then feel a tap on my head from behind me. It's Minnie Piledriver and someone else passing me their barf bags. I can hear Dolly yelling up from several rows back, "You can have mine too if you need it!"

I pull out my earbuds and notice the attendant looking at me with a face full of "am I gonna have to clean up puke in Chicago or are these bitches fucking with me?".

"Are you feeling all right," he asks me.

"Im fine," I reply. I give him a look I would have given my mother or a teacher had I been 3 instead of 30 and having done something wrong.

My teammates bust out laughing all around me. I hear someone in the back of the plane ask what's going on and a response regarding them passing me barf bags because I'm not allowed to sit in the 'premium' row in front of me that's empty. The attendant is not amused, but luckily the woman sitting beside Rosie is. He leaves, annoyed with our adolescent antics - my two travel buddies making the bread of the lop-her sandwich look scared - real scared. I don't say anythng to put them at ease, because I can already smell the garbage can mouth stench and I can't yet tell who it's coming from. I now know - the one on my right.

Sweet Jesus this plane ride cannot end soon enough! My only comfort is knowing this thing should land pretty soon, and if I do puke, stank-ass to my right appears to be wearing the Dockers pants that are stain resistant, so I probably won't bother him as much as he's been bothering me, even if I do puke on him.

I've finished my can of gingerale - holy crap, he just yawned!!! Almost lost it there... I've finished my can of gingerale, and I think the plane is descending. Jesus, I promise I'll never intentionally fuck with another flight attendant again if you get me through this. I'll be good, Ill go to church. Well, I won't fuck with another flight attendant again - isn't that good enough?!

The condoms are again warm and saturating my breathing area. Does anyone know how to make one of those masks come down?

truly horrifying TGIF

pigeonderby@gmail.com (Ruby Khan) — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 11:09:00 -0700

Dig the kids at 1:30. They are loving it.

Co-Ed Game with hooligans

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 10:16:01 -0700

PJSD vs Manch Vegas – Away – October 3, 2009

Richmond Derby Demons – Home – October 13, 2009

PJSD vs. Man’s Ruin – October 24, 2009 – Mt. Laurel NJ.

PJSD Game – November 21, 2009 – Mt Laurel, NJ.

Other Events

Sept 19 – PJSD 1st Annual Fletcher Street Fair
Sept 26 – Bristol Bike Night
Oct 2 – Whip it
Oct 11 – Outfest (table for Sisters)
Oct 16 – Sisters PJ party
Nov 14 – Band Showcase @ the Arena, Philadelphia, PA
Nov 28 – Ken Beef & Beer

Thoughts in my Head

Raven Von Kaos — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 12:35:00 -0700

tiny little derby girls

pigeonderby@gmail.com (Ruby Khan) — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 19:47:00 -0700

MVP awards for the Cosmos' and Pissahs' August bout. I'm pretty happy about how they turned out.

birthday weekend countdown starts... now!

pigeonderby@gmail.com (Ruby Khan) — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 19:37:00 -0700

Coincidentally, Space Tiger was born on my 30th birthday, which means that very, very soon, Space Tiger will be entering his terrible twos and I will be solidly into My Early Thirties. More importantly, it means that the Ren fair where ST was birthed is nearly upon us again.

Both Space Tiger and I would welcome any presents you might like to give (Ren faire drink tickets perhaps?), but this belt is something that would make us both happy AND is very ye olde faire–appropriate.Get in the mood, people!

Thank You, Mr. Photog!

Cindy Lop-her — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 04:25:00 -0700

photo by dennis_l&t's_dad (Flickr)

Before this season started, I stated somewhere that one of my goals was to come away with at least one good action shot of myself. Since then, there's actually been a couple good actions shots taken of me, but the series above from Saturday's bout against Philly's Liberty Belles is FREAKING AWESOME!!!

Now, before you chastise me for that elbow (which I got sent to the penalty box for on a major), let me explain how I think this series validates my execution of a near perfect block.

The block I was landing here is a lean block, where my ass is supposed to be behind the other skater, my shoulder is supposed to be in front of the other skater, my foot is supposed to be in front of the other skater's foot and in front of her, and I'm supposed to be pushing with my right leg while my thigh, hip, and ribs are making contact to push the other skater out of bounds. I had perfect form! Except for that elbow, which I'll come back to later...

I have STRUGGLED with form ever since I knew I had played 3 years with bad form. It is so much harder to unlearn bad habits than it is to create new good habits, so this past year has been frustrating and difficult for me. That being said, I am so happy to see a photo of myself where I have good form!!!

Now, for the elbow. I'll tell you now that I'm an idiot. I knew while I was executing that block that it was my shoulder and core that were moving her, not my elbow, but my arm is bent, and I can see how it looks like I'm elbowing the jammer. However, if you look at the progression, my elbow is the same in all four shots. I wasn't chicken-winging, I wasn't jabbing, it was just bent. And I always had contact with another part of my body. That said, I've also learned a lesson here to straighten my arm and perhaps move it out of the way, so I don't get sent to the box again for having my arm bent.

I know some of you will disagree with the elbow, and that's cool. You have to admit, though, these are some pretty bad-ass shots!

This Saturday: Windy City...

Whip It! Release Date Update

Nia Capps — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 14:12:00 -0700

Azaleas & Fishing Poles

Cindy Lop-her — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 13:19:00 -0700

The first time I recall ever seeing an Azalea bush and learning what it was, I was sitting in the center-seat of a Ryder moving truck, about to pull away from our house in Mississippi, when just as my dad released the emergency break, our landlord’s car squealed into the driveway and blocked us in. As I tried to ignore the argument in front of the truck, I looked to my left – a line of Azalea bushes that I had never noticed before. “What type of flowers are those,” I asked my mom. “Azaleas,” she said. The next thing I remember, I was waking up in Maryland as we pulled into the driveway of the house of my paternal grandparents, whom I had never met. Three months later, with nowhere to go, they kicked us out of their house.

Last week was a typical week. I worked, I skated, I worked a whole lot more, and then I skated some more. In between all the work and skating, I was especially disturbed each time I read the news or turned on the television. The top story here in Baltimore last week was the assault of a local black fisherman by a self-proclaimed white supremacist and two juveniles while his wife looked on. After work and before practice or after practice and before work the next morning, my boyfriend and I had the same discussion each time we heard about the incident again on the local news: if we had been there, what would we have done? Would we have said something? Stepped in? We knew we hoped that if we’d been there we’d have done something to stop the horror of what happened.

On Thursday I was talking with my coworker about her need for more regular exercise. I offered to take her to my gym the following morning, and (gasp!) my ass actually made it up and there by 6am, a feat I haven’t accomplished in quite some time. As I was running on the treadmill, listening to my new workout mix and reading the captioning on the array of televisions ahead of me, I again saw the news story and I again became utterly disgusted. “I wish I could do something for that family,” I thought. Only this time that thought was followed by an idea: “I think I CAN do something for that family!”

As soon as I showered and got to the office I typed up an email to our league and posted a poll: Do you approve of donating 5% beer sales from tomorrow’s bout and giving a $150 gift card to the victims of the recent hate crime? Do you approve of collecting donations at the bout? And it began.

Emails flooded back replying to my post. In a matter of minutes we were preparing radio copy and emailing the Baltimore Sun reporter who broke the story. Within two hours we were writing a press release, designing a PayPal donation button to place on our website, and making plans to make DIY spray-painted ERACISM tees to give away at the bout. Three hours later we got a call from the mayor’s office who wanted to present us with a community service recognition award, and they weren’t even on the press-release list. It was a good thing I had planned to take off work Friday at noon, because almost immediately there was a lot to do!

Facebook posts, emails, phone calls, and a shit-ton of art supplies consumed Friday night. I could hardly sleep. I was so nervous that we wouldn’t raise a respectable amount of money to donate to the family, and I really wanted us to be able to make a difference. That, and I was so overwhelmed by pride for my league and the amount of support and hard work that so many ladies put into making this fundraiser happen, and happen successfully. It still blows my mind, thinking about what we pulled off in only a matter of hours. The next day, the bout.

The next morning I almost forgot I would be skating against Philly’s Liberty Belles that night, because I was so worried about making the fundraiser “perfect”. When I realized this was happening, I asked myself why this fundraiser had become all consuming. We’ve done fundraisers for charitable organizations before, but somehow this was different. Maybe it’s because the need was tangible – because I’d seen the couple who was assaulted on the news twice a day for the last 3 days – I don’t know. I do know we all became incredibly driven like we’ve never been before, and it paid off.

Last night we raised $2,000 for the Privott family. We’ll be leaving the PayPal button up on our website through this coming Friday, and we’re hoping to raise another $1,000 by the time we close donations. Our goal? To show this family more love this week than they had seen hate. Love can’t be measured in dollars, but I hope the dollars will help.

There’s something else that’s been on my mind throughout this whole ordeal: I really hope Mr. Privott is able to continue fishing. On Friday when I proposed the fundraiser to our league, I posed the question: Can you imagine packing up your skates and pads after practice, only to be attacked with a sledgehammer because of what you looked like?

I believe sports are important – not just for children or rollergirls, but for everyone who has a passion for a sport – even a man in his 70s, and I really don’t want a fishing pole and tackle box to be Mr. Privott’s Azalea bush. I want him to be able to continue to do the thing that he loves, even though for a while I’m sure it will be a symbol of pain. I can only hope that negative association will fade with time.

When I was 11-years-old and briefly without a home, I was amazed that this community that we’d been a part of for only 3 short months would be so kind to provide small things that made all the difference in our day-to-day life, like toiletries and food. And most of the people who helped us out, I’ll never know. I hope my small contribution in response to this recent horrific event can make the Privott family feel the same love I also felt from this Baltimore community at a very low point in my young life.

I made a decision when I was 11: I would never be homeless again. Sixteen years later, I purchased an old house in Baltimore. Each day when I arrive back home, I look at my house, my front porch, and my Azalea bush, and I can’t help but fell full of love. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, and with time horrible memories do fade. But the good memories – even those that we experience in dark times – they become clearer.

If you’d like to help offset Mr. Privott’s medical expenses, please click here to make an online donation. Thank you.

SmartyPants, SmartyPants!

Nia Capps — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 02:53:00 -0700

Open Caption #31

Dainty Inferno — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 11:29:00 -0700

Submitted by The Outlaw Josey Whales, Oklahoma City Roller Derby
Photo: Fresh Takes Photography (www.freshtakesphoto.com)
Skaters: Mya O Mya (jammer, Tornado Alley Rollergirls of OKC), unknown pivot, ICT Rollergirls (name her in the comments!)

Open Caption #30

Dainty Inferno — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 11:25:00 -0700

Submitted by Steffen Razor, Silicon Valley Roller Girls
Photo by Jim Cottingham
Skaters: Lemme Chokeya (B.A.D. Girls) and CynTax (jammer, SVRG)

This does not look like it ends well.

all-ages show

pigeonderby@gmail.com (Ruby Khan) — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 07:48:00 -0700

Personas

pigeonderby@gmail.com (Ruby Khan) — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 18:14:00 -0700

Personas is a component of the Metropath(ologies) exhibit, currently on display at the MIT Museum by the Sociable Media Group from the MIT Media Lab. It uses sophisticated natural language processing and the Internet to create a data portrait of one's aggregated online identity. In short, Personas shows you how the Internet sees you.

This is visually attractive, sure, but what I most enjoyed was reading the blurbs that were supposedly about me as it was calculating its thing. (My real name results were boring; it just found two sites about my book.) Try it out. It's prettier than the "my best name anagram" thing that's going around Facebook right now, where I come out as terrible if stink.

Only one of these things is about me.

BDD in Marie Claire China

pigeonderby@gmail.com (Ruby Khan) — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 18:11:00 -0700

Pretty cool, huh? More images here.

Injury Talk

Raven Von Kaos — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 06:09:00 -0700

2009 Champions: Bayou City Bosses

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 07:10:08 -0700

The Bayou City Bosses overcame a late Psych Ward Sirens rally to win their second consecutive Houston Roller Derby championship, 124-107 on Saturday night. In the opening bout of the night, the HRD Burlesque Brawlers beat the Spindletop Roller Derby 221-30.

Bayou City Bosses’ jammer Death By Chocolate (DBC) opened up the first jam of the night taking lead jammer status and scoring a 4-0 jam. Rookie jammer Bobituary scored a 5-3 jam for the Bosses and the defending champions took a 9-3 lead early in the bout. Mistilla the Killa came out of the penalty box in the third jam, took lead jammer status and scored a 5-0 jam, and the Psych Ward Sirens had narrowed lead to 9-8.

The Bayou City Bosses defense shut out the team in red for the next six jams and took a 31-8 lead after the ninth jam. The Bosses run featured a 10-point and four-point jam by DBC. The Sirens’ DeMentia responded with a 10-0 jam in the tenth jam. DBC came right back with a 10-4 jam for the Bosses followed by an 8-3 jam by Mistilla the Killa narrowing the Bosses lead to 44-30.

The defending champs and the team in red traded scoring jam advantages until the Bosses’ Miss Lead scored a 5-0 final jam of the half giving the defending champions a 57-44 lead at halftime.

Death By Chocolate opened up the scoring in the second half with a 10-point jam for the Bosses for a 67-44 lead. However, the Psych Ward Sirens shut out the defending champions for the next five jams, highlighted by a 10-point jam by Mistilla and a four-point jam by Jekyll and Heidi. After the sixth jam the team in red had narrowed the lead to 67-58.

A 7-2 jam by the Sirens’ DeMentia was countered by a 9-1 jam by the Bosses’ Miss Lead. An 11-4 jam by Jekyll and Heidi further narrowed the Bosses lead to 82-77. A 2-0 jam by DBC and a 4-0 jam by Miss Lead moved the lead out to 88-77 for the Bosses. DeMentia countered with an 8-4 jam in the 11th jam of the final half narrowing the lead by the Bosses to 92-85.

Two scoreless jams set up a huge jam by the Sirens. Mistilla the Killa took advantage of a penalty to the Bosses’ jammer, and scored a big 13-4 jam. To the delight of the boisterous Sirens fans at Kicks Indoor Soccer and Gym, the team in red took its only lead of the night, 98-96. A 4-4 jam by DeMentia and Miss Lead in the 15th jam of the half set up the big jam of the night with the score at 102-100 in favor of the Psych Ward Sirens.

The Sirens’ jammer was sent to the penalty box, and Death By Chocolate would take advantage of the situation by getting three pack passes worth 14 points, the defending champs shut out the team in red. The Bayou City Bosses took a 114-102 lead. Miss Lead gained lead jammer status in the next jam and with the Siren jammer still in the penalty box, she reeled off a big 10-0 score putting the Bosses in front of the Psych Ward Sirens 124-102 with time for only one more jam.

Considering that DBC was jamming for the Bosses, and that the team in black had been stingy all night long on defense, many fans thought there was no way the Sirens could score enough points to tie the bout, yet alone win it. But holy ref whistles! DBC was sent to the penalty box with a major penalty early in the jam, and the Sirens were ready to slow the pack down to a near standstill. While the best Bosses’ jammers would not let this entirely happen, DeMentia did slip through for a pack pass for points.

But the drama in this jam was not over as DeMentia was sent to the penalty box and the ever dangerous DBC came out seeking to even up the score. Wow, was that another penalty on DBC that the fans in Houston saw? It was, and out came DeMentia from the penalty box with time to score some more points.

There was no way that Becky Booty, Nawty Dread Knocks, and Goldie BloXX of the Bosses were going to let DeMentia by for more points. And by now you might have guessed what would happen next. DeMentia was whistled back to the penalty box and Death By Chocolate came out of penalty box just in time to skate some very cautious jamming time as the final four whistles sounded. The Psych Ward Sirens had closed the margin a bit, but the final score in favor of the team in black of 124-107 made the Bayou City Bosses repeat Houston Roller Derby champions.

The leading scorer for the Bosses was Death By Chocolate with 61 points. She gained lead jammer status in her first ten jams, and was lead jammer 11 out of 13 jams skated. Other top scorers for the two-time champions were Miss Lead with 39 points, Bobituary with 13 points, and Babyface Assassin with 11 points. In a game where team blocking was a huge key defensively, top blockers for the champs were Rebel Ann, Daily Beatings, Nawty Dread Knocks, and Goldie BloXX.

Despite the powerful Bayou City Bosses’ defense, Mistilla the Killa led scorers for the Psych Ward Sirens with 57 points. Dementia added 31 points, and Jekyll and Heidi chipped in with 19 points for the Sirens. Leading blockers for the team in red included Sick Nick, Copperhead, Panty Raider, and Scarlet O’Hurtya.

In the first bout of the evening the Burlesque Brawlers used their experience and speed to defeat the Spindletop Roller Derby of Beaumont, Texas 221-30. Spindletop was skating in their first bout ever.

Savage Rose opened up the first period with a 14-3 jam for the Brawlers as Spindletop picked up its first three points ever by Slam. The Brawlers shut out the new league for the next eight jams and a 20-point jam by Sweet Commotion would highlight the team in purple’s 114-0 run. Claudia Van Damage scored 14 points for the Brawlers, while Stella GetEvens would put up a pack pass of her own for Spindletop and four points.

Spindletop got its first highlight of the night, as Wildcat took lead jammer status and scored a strong 11-4 jam at the end of the half. As Wildcat skated past the Brawler bench, opponents came out onto the track to slap her on the back and hug her for the accomplishment. The Brawlers went into halftime leading 132-18.

While Spindletop slowed down the scoring machine for the home team in the second half a little bit, the Brawlers tossed up seven double-digit scoring jams. The biggest jam of the half was when Brawler captain Starr Doom scored five points and handed the jammer helmet cover to pivot Speedo. She added an additional ten points until the refs whistled the jam over. In the tenth jam, retiring skater Wreck Hell Welch got lead jammer and scored 14 big points in her final jam as a Houston Roller Derby skater, while Wildcat would tack on eight extra points for Spindletop. The final jam of the night would see the retiring all star Savage Rose put up a ten–point jam finalizing a 221-30 score.

The top scorers for the Burlesque Brawlers were Savage Rose with 44 points, Sweet Commotion and Basket Casey each with 40 points, and Speedo with 35 points. Leading blockers for the Brawlers were Chainsaw Chic, Wreck Hell Welch, Chicken, and Sinister Sista.

The leading scorers for Spindletop Roller Derby were Wildcat with 19 points, and Holy Miss Moley and Ruby Ridikule with four points each. Top blockers included Breaking Dawn, Talking Headcase, and AndyCondDuh.

Serving Up Derby The Waitress

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 09:37:41 -0700

Sometimes I see a skater who is far smarter than I am pull off some badass move and I am simultaneously stunned, humbled, and wicked envious. I want to know how on earth they thought of that, and how I...

Insider Information

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 13:19:25 -0700

I haven’t wanted to tell anybody my plans, but I figured since nobody reads this, it would be ok to let it slip here. Within the next month, I’m going to donate my hair to Locks of Love. My longest layer is at ten and a half inches in a ponytail right now. I’m going to give it a little bit more growing time just in case, then I’m going pretty damn short.

I’m scared.

pantsless roller skating

pigeonderby@gmail.com (Ruby Khan) — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 20:08:00 -0700

Found this underwear commercial on Fleshbot, but it's tamer than most American Apparel ads. NSFW if you work somewhere really uptight, I guess.

S-A! T-U-R! D-A-Y! eveningish!

pigeonderby@gmail.com (Ruby Khan) — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 19:46:00 -0700

Yaaaaay playing Detroit again! They were fantastic at the fateful 2007 regionals bout that kept us from nationals contention and launched the drunken Ohio weekend of 1,000 stories.

But seriously, yaaaaaay Cosmo vs Pissah bout! They're both already guaranteed to be in the playoffs in September, so this bout doesn't technically count for anything but pride. They could play the craziest, most insane, most experimental strategies if they wanted to, consequences be damned. This could be the most fun bout of the entire season.

Details and tickets here.

Preview: Sirens v Bosses in the Championship

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 19:44:03 -0700

I am waiting for my rosters from the Houston Roller Derby captains before I do my writeups. Let me just say this. I might not get a roster because one of the rivals is fairly secretive. Now this is really strange to me, because it seems like you have to have a league practice and all teams show up. Anyway, whether you release the information, the other teams in your league are going to have knowledge of who is going to be skating, or at least a pretty good idea.

So with that being said, I think the biggest roller derby rivalry going is the Bayou City Bosses against the Psych Ward Sirens. Even when the Psych Ward Sirens were sweeping their way to the first HRD championship in 2006, the third place team (Bayou City Bosses) were still able to play them closely in bouts. In 2007 the Bayou City Bosses actually beat the Psych Ward Sirens in regular season competition, but the Sirens turned right around and beat the Bosses for the championship. Last year the Sirens beat the Bosses in the regular season bout, but the Bosses turned around and beat the Sirens in the championship bout.

So far this year the Sirens have beaten the Bosses in their first bout of the season. But in a round robin tournament game that was not completed because the fire marshall in Houston closed down the event with about ten minutes left in the game, the Bosses were leading by four points. You can just imagine what was being said at the after party by the two teams. The trailing team was pretty sure they would have come from behind and won. And they may have been right since the Bosses had skated a full 20 minute bout the game before.

Well this rilvarly (and this rivalry has gotten to the point of some serious psychological tactics being involved) will happen again this Saturday evening. And as it has the previous two years, this bout Saturday night at Kicks Gym will decide who will be the champions. When I get the rosters I’ll do the writeup, because I wouldn’t want to write about any skaters that might not be skating. But just in case I don’t get rosters, check out the bout information at http://www.houstonrollerderby.com.

Phil

Like I Need a Hole in My Head

Cindy Lop-her — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 09:05:00 -0700

Last time I wrote I was expressing a problem I was having about being motivated for the rest of the season. I really thought it was an internal motivation issue. I also had been thinking for the past two weeks that I really needed a new pillow because my neck hurt so damn bad. Then there was the mystery “peak of summer” pollen that was causing me to have a headache every day. It’s funny how we justify things to ourselves.

Early last week, after mentioning a growing bug-bite to my boyfriend and showing him the rash (both things I hadn’t given a second thought), he convinced me to show it to my doctor. Good thing I did, because it explains a hell of a lot: I have Lyme Disease.

Now, if you live outside Maryland, Pennsylvania, or New York, Lyme Disease may sound exotic to you. Actually, it sounded exotic to me until last week. Turns out, something like 90% of all Lyme Disease cases each year are in the three aforementioned states. It really is super-concentrated in this area, and on top of that mid-summer is peak tick season. If you’re like me, you learn something new every day.

I feel kind of validated knowing that my lack of energy is due to Lyme disease and not apathy, but is this not the WORST time for me to have gotten this sickness?!?! Regionals are in a month!!!

I’ve been super depressed over the last week, and Sunday marked my worst symptom day yet – I slept damn near 28 hours straight, and I was only awakened by my 24-hour headache that was completely non-responsive to 800mg ibuprofen. In the past 2 days, I’ve fallen asleep while driving twice. It’s only been a week, but I can stand my sofa no more.

After contemplating my life without derby during WFTDA finals, I’ve decided I must somehow figure out how to push through this and make it happen. I’ve worked too damn hard to be taken down by a fucking deer tick.

The good news is that it was caught early. What I can’t seem to figure out is how long I can expect to be feeling like shit. I plan on taking Co-Q10, B12, and superfood to try and increase my energy, so I can make it to practice and finish this thing that I’ve started.

If anyone out there has any useful resources, please send them my way! I’ll update more later. I’m off to acupuncture now…

Horseshoes & Hand Grenades

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 15:28:42 -0700

August 29th vs Derby City Rollergirls

Help support Big Brothers/Big Sisters of the Tri-state area. Bring any type of school supply and get entered in a raffle to win a BBRG gift basket!

Get your tickets online now and save a couple bucks!

Order Tickets

Set It Free

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 07:01:10 -0700

You've heard the saying if you set something free and it comes back to you, you know it was meant to be. I'm not sure i'm convinced of the truth of that in every context, but this summer i set...

Boston vs. B.A.D. recap

pigeonderby@gmail.com (Ruby Khan) — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 10:26:00 -0700

So many weasel words and passive voice in this recap of Boston's game against the B.A.D. Girls at RollerCon last weekend, so few details about anything that skaters actually did.

Boston's strategy is described as "at times devious" because B.A.D. was frustrated by jammer-on-jammer blocking. Boston's advantage in adapting to a slippery skating surface is described as "slight" despite a 75-22 halftime lead. They "seemed to" have more control. Calls from the crowd are cited as evidence of Boston's deviousness.

The lack of detail doesn't help anyone understand the game and takes blame off of the nine B.A.D. jammers and three Boston jammers who did something to warrant a trip to the penalty box. (Even if that "something" was to have the misfortune of a bad ref call.)

One thing that really hampered the Bay Area offense was their plethora of jammer majors. B.A.D. jammers were sent to the box no less than nine times throughout the game while Boston only had three jammer trips to the box.

A roller derby bout doesn't land on the track like weather; it is the sum of the actions of the two teams. We have to report on the action. Skater A did something. Skater B responded somehow. And so on and so on.

This, too, begs for more detail and the active voice.

At times, the slick floor looked downright dangerous. There were more than a few times where a jam was called because a player had been taken down and was slow to get up.

How many times, exactly? Which skaters on which teams? Who took them down? There's a sentence missing in the middle here. How was the slick floor to blame? Does "had been taken down" mean that a skater fell or was hit? Who hit her? Was it a hard block on an unsuspecting skater? Or was it an illegal block that sent the perpetrator to the box? Would it be worthwhile to mention that three Boston skaters took hard hits to the face, because that was surely unusual for us. Were the penalties called on B.A.D. unusual for them as well?

I hope we're moving toward a day when people affiliated with leagues aren't the only people who report on their leagues—BDD most definitely included. Fortunately you can watch the video and read the archived boutcast and decide for yourself how the game went down.

roller skating's alright I guess

pigeonderby@gmail.com (Ruby Khan) — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 10:11:00 -0700

SCDG The Next Generation . . .

Raven Von Kaos — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 19:05:00 -0700

Enjoying What Will Be the Time of My Life

Cindy Lop-her — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 02:44:00 -0700

It’s funny to me how people often say that high school was the best time of their life. Really? Because I was a neurotic mess until I was 24 or 25, and some people I know will tell you I still am. In all seriousness, I remember my high school years as often being lonely, confusing, and full of anxiety. The best time of my life? I think when I have a chance to look back on it, I’ll tell you it’s right now. Yet even knowing this, on a daily basis I struggle to be mindful of my life. Right now it’s the same day-to-day, the daily grind, too much work, too little time, and nothing new, but I know that in 10 or 15 years I’ll remember the underlying joy I have for and the pleasure I take in skating. Knowing this, I fight daily to “not sweat the small stuff” and enjoy the things I have and am doing right now.

I didn’t learn about mindfulness until after my dad died and I was apathetically perusing the “grief” section at Barnes & Noble during my lunch break. Sometimes I get an idea in my head during the work day, and working within walking distance of an urban shopping Mecca proves all too easy to make a purchase or two on a whim. This was one of those whims. I had gone months without ever picking up a book on bereavement or death or chicken soup for this rash that won’t go away, but that day I decided I needed a book on grief.

If you’re ever already depressed, it’s probably not a good idea to go stand in the grief section of a major bookstore chain, because once you start reading the titles you’re bound to feel not only depressed but also hopeless now too. As I stood there I could imagine a salesperson saying “With such a wide selection, there’s a book on grief for everyone!” and me responding to the imaginary salesperson, “Book for everyone, my ass!” With rows of books titled things like Gay Nephews Remembering Their Uncles, How to Go on when Someone You Love Dies, and Jesus Suggests You Take up Underwater Basket Weaving to Deal, I almost walked out; I wasn’t a gay nephew, a hippie Christian, or suicidal – I just wanted something to help me sort through my intense and often inexplicable waves of emotion. Then, just when I had given up hope for finding anything normal, I saw a title called Grieving Mindfully.

The book was not only practical, offering real explanations for my rollercoaster ride of emotions, but it also introduced me to mindfulness – a concept I could kind of already relate to and that I would research even more over the following weeks. In a nutshell, mindfulness is the calm awareness of your body, feelings, emotions, and intent at any one moment. Although I never did finish the book, I liked their take on using mindfulness to acknowledge each feeling I had associated with the death of my dad.

Outside of using mindfulness to help deal with grief, I’ve also tried to use it in daily life. If you know me, then you know my outlook on life is simple: have as much fun in the small amount of time you have here; life is short, enjoy it. This does not mean I’m a proponent of doing whatever the fuck you want without any regard to rules or responsibility or respecting others. This does mean I try my hardest to appreciate what I have in the moment and make the best of it, but like I said earlier, it’s a struggle to keep up this train of thought, especially when you’re working 12-hour days and have little time to yourself.

When I tried out for the All Stars last February, I hoped and prayed and have been anxious to play with my team at Nationals. Recently, however, I’ve been ready for Nationals to be over already. And it’s not just me, too. Even some of the most die-hard derby players on my team often joke when discussing our impending “off season” that they don’t know if they’ll even last that long.

At a time when I should be kicking things up a notch, I feel as if I’ve been coasting in a lower gear – staying just within sight of the rest of my team and that destination ahead of us: Nationals. It’s not that I don’t want to go to Nationals or that I don’t want to skate, but I’m tired, and the rest of life has been demanding my attention even though I know and want to be spending that time on derby.

The other day I was talking to a teammate who was feeling similarly, only on this day she couldn’t even hide it at practice. As she wore her outlook on life and derby on her sleeve, I couldn’t help but preach what I’ve been recently unable to practice. “Look around you,” I said, “Things aren’t so bad here, today.” I went on to tell her that this is our year – we’ve worked hard, and we will go to Nationals – and when she looks back on this time, 20 years from now, she’ll remember this as the time of her life, so she should enjoy it now while she’s living it. I couldn’t have put it better if I was telling it to myself, and I wouldn’t have said it at all if it wasn’t for her.

I need to follow a bit of my own advice. Life is for having fun, and this will likely be the most fun I ever have, so I should be mindful and enjoy it, despite the nagging everyday stresses that don’t mean dick when everything’s said and done.

You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have… Yeah, I wrote it, The Facts of Life! Enjoy yourself today.

Cherry Bomb vs Rhinestone Cowgirl Bout Recap 09

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 06:58:04 -0700

Both the Cherry Bombs and the Rhinestone Cowgirls entered Sunday’s night bout with a lot on the line. The Cherry Bombs were seeking their first EVER undefeated season. If the Rhinestone Cowgirls were able to pull off this victory, there would be a three-way tie for first place between the Cherry Bombs, Rhinestone Cowgirls, and the Hellcats. The energy in the convention center was charged, and the crowd expected a great bout.
The first jam of the night featured a match-up that would be repeated many times: Rocky Casbah versus Kategory 5. Rocky scored two points, and Kategory 5 scored one. The evenly matched skaters would battle it out in many very fast jams over the night. Kate or Dye scored four points in the next jam to help the Cherry Bombs jump out in front. A minor on Kategory 5 led to a pushcart penalty, in which the team of Rocky Casbah and Lucy Cannon took a point away from the Rhinestone Cowgirls. A grand slam jam by Daisy Mae Damage put the Cherry Bombs five points farther ahead. Lucy Cannon and Natorious skated a very close jam in which each scored three points. The Cherry Bombs won both a pillow fight and a relay race to keep up their dominance of the penalties. A very fast jam between Kate or Dye and Miss Canada was stopped when a fight broke out between Diablo and Polly Urethane (another recurring theme of the evening). Kategory 5 scored three points in a jam against Rice Rice Baby. On the reskate after a major penalty on Mummy Dearest, Kat 5 scored another three points to put the Rhinestones back into the hunt. Two more points from Rocky Casbah brought the score at the end of the first quarter to Cherry Bombs 17, Rhinestone Cowgirls 5.

A couple of close jams started off the second quarter. Kategory 5 sped to four points while Daisy Mae Damage picked up two right behind her. Rocky Casbah raced to score two points over Rollergazm’s one point. Mummy Dearest picked up another major penalty and on the reskate, Kate or Dye broke free to score a grand slam jam. Ali Mony defeated Polly Urethane in an arm wrestle to break the Cherry Bombs’ streak of penalty victories. Mummy Dearest jammed for two points for the Cowgirls. After a couple of scoreless jams, Rice Rice Baby managaed to eke out one point for the Bombs. Kategory 5 then blasted through the pack to pick up amother grand slam jam to end the first half. Score at the half: Cherry Bombs 27, Rhinestone Cowgirls 20.

The Cherry Bombs returned for the second half with renewed intensity and focus: the Rhinestone Cowgirls had come back a bit too close for comfort. Rocky Casbah scored two points and then quickly called off the jam before Kategory 5 could score. Kate or Dye put up four points, and Rocky Casbah again scored four points while holding Kategory 5 to one (a terrific takeout block by Honey Homicide was a huge help in that jam). A minor penalty on Natorious drew a two lap duel penalty. Moko Loco subbed in and skated against Honey Homicide. Honey won using some clever strategy to take two points away from the Cowgirls. After a one point jam from Daisy Mae Damage and another one point jam for Natorious, Kategory 5 picked up a minor penalty. She also drew a two lap duel, which skated against Rocky Casbah. This was much more engagement in this duel, which was ultimately won by Rocky Casbah. Kate or Dye then scored four more points for the Cherry Bombs. Cherry Chainsaw lost a tug of war penalty to Ali Mony. Kategory 5 scored a point; Lucy Cannon scored two. Cherry Chainsaw then beat the snot out of Rollergazm in a pillow fight (Cherry was looking furious before the fight even began.) Rocky Casbah and Kategory 5 skated to another four/four draw. It was also announced that Polly Urethne went over the 100 blocks for the season mark in this quarter: CONGRATULATIONS Polly! The score at the end of the third quarter: Cherry Bombs 47, Rhinestone Cowgirls 24.

Daisy Mae Damage and Kategory 5 faced off to start the fourth quarter: Daisy Mae scored three points, Kategory 5, two. Rocky Casbah picked up another point for the Cherry Bombs. Daisy Mae Damage scored two points over Mummy Dearest. After a major penalty on Cherry Chinsaw (her third minor), neither skater was able to score on the reskate. Moko Loco defetaed Honey Homicide in a pillow fight. Kategory 5 scored four points over Kate or Dye’s two. Rice Rice Baby scored another point for the Bombs. Diablo was then ejected for getting another fight with Polly Urethane. A couple more scoreless jams followed. The final jam of the bout was between Daisy Mae Damage and Kategory 5: each skater scored three points, bringing the final score to Cherry Bombs 60, Rhinestone Cowgirls 33.
This was great bout to watch. Neither team let up in their intensity at any point during the bout. The blocking and defense were fierce for both teams. Rollergazm and Kategory 5 did very difficult duties for the Rhinestone Cowgirls by skating nearly every other jam in the second half. The relentless offense and tough defense of the Cherry Bombs eventually wore down the Cowgirls. Congratulations to the Cherry Bombs on their undefeated season!
The next bout will be between the Holy Rollers and las Putas del Fuego on Sunday, August 16. See you at the Thunderdome!
Lady A

$5 pretzel? Getouttahere

pigeonderby@gmail.com (Ruby Khan) — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 21:04:00 -0700

> Two thoughts from tonight:
>
> Depeche Mode concerts are virtually irony-free zones. You can't
> rhyme "pain" with "again" in that many different songs unless you're
> taking yourself pretty seriously.
>
> One of the keys to their success has been to not get fat as they
> turn 50. Helps everyone avoid contemplating their own mortality when
> they realize 3/4 of the songs on the setlist are old enough to drink.
>

Rollerconsolation

Nia Capps — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 08:57:00 -0700

A Little Less Neglected

Fri, 31 Jul 2009 12:31:59 -0700

Yesterday, my Facebook status became a complaint about how behaving was getting old. As you can tell, my poor, neglected blog agrees. Until I get the chance to stir some shit up, I must settle for something a little bit different.

You will notice a new list of tags to your right. I’ve been working on tagging all my posts…way back to November 2005…and I finally took the time to find a widget that I liked. Enjoy. Some of them are pretty funny if I do say so myself.

July 25th Victory

Thu, 30 Jul 2009 07:45:03 -0700

Emma Peelout

Originally uploaded by Black-n-Bluegrass Rollergirls

BBRG’s B Team, Blue Lightnin’ came out victorious Saturday evening, with a score of 138-86 over the Lafayette Brawlin’ Dolls!

Thanks to all who came out - the crowd was great!

Special thanks to True Body Project, our charity of the evening. Please support them in their mission to empower young women. Visit www.truebodyproject.org

Congrats to Mrs. Emma Peelout, pictured, on her mega shiner, compliments of an airborn faceplant.

Real Email, Real Life (to my All Stars)

Cindy Lop-her — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 11:27:00 -0700

Hey!

If you can read no further, this email is to let you know I must work tonight instead of coming to practice. If you can read further, the rest of this email is a look into my imperfect mind, and will possibly be repurposed for part of a blog (my words, not yours).

This week has taken a turn for the bizarre and busy. I had a pipe burst in our basement Monday evening, which is why I wasn't at practice. Home Depot occupied my night instead.

Today, I'm out of my mind busy at work. We have 12 business days left to finish testing code and writing support materials for this online management system that's going live on 8/17, and I'm the Project Manager :( I just had to do a total overhaul of a 1-page quick reference guide that I thought would take me 30 minutes but has instead taken me all damn day. And I have a 60-page tutorial to review and edit next... I won't be there tonight. I know I NEED to be there, but I can't be.

I won't have any problems making my attendance for Philly and Windy City, but I also want to play to the best of my ability and become a better player and teammate overall, so I torture myself for not having perfect attendance. Also, I hate to miss a Sunday (even though it was planned), a Monday, and a Wednesday all in a row (makes my guilt worse).

However, I had my therapy appointment today and this was the topic of discussion. I need to be less hard on myself for things that are out of my control or take priority over other things in my life (aka, work today). I feel like answering to you guys is more important than answering to anyone else, and it makes me the most anxious because in actuality work and home have to come before derby. I know we all struggle with this, and we choose different things: we may choose derby and feel the guilt for not choosing other areas or we may choose work or home and feel the guilt for not choosing derby. Either way, life is unpredictable and it's pretty much guaranteed things won't go as planned for any of us on any given day. Some days it's the practicality of not having enough time to do everything that needs to be done (or that you had planned to do or want to do), while other days you could cram everything in, even with a monkey wrench thrown in, but that would mean you would have no time at all for yourself, and let's face it, that doesn't work all the time either because everyone needs some time at least every once in a while for herself.

My therapist asked if there was anything I could give up or cut back on. I told her about the OSDA, but I also told her how I'm not yet ready to stop competing at the level at which our league competes, and although derby requires a great amount of my time, it also provides a great reward (many rewards, actually) that I still find totally worth the sacrifice.

It's especially hard to balance life outside derby with derby when you're trying so hard to improve and you're fighting each month for a spot on that game roster. The intent is there, but often the actions to back it up can't be. Scratch that, they CAN be, but you would totally sacrifice your health - mental and/or physical - and eventually that will catch up with you and force you slow down. I want to be an amazing and valuable player and teammate, but I know deep down that I can't truly do that if my life isn't balanced, so this is my way of saying that I'm going to try my hardest from now on not to be so hard on myself when it comes to life getting in the way of derby. When I am with you all, when I am at practice, I can guarantee that I will do everything I can to give it my all, to challenge myself, and to become that player and teammate I want so badly to be.

In other news, I do plan on attending practice tomorrow, and after nearly a week off skates I'm gonna be hurtin. Holly, please kick my ass, but also be nice to me if I cry from the pain.

Since I took a 30-minute detour to write this long-ass email, I'm just going to repost it in its entirety as today's blog entry. In case you couldn't tell, I really do love you guys, so thanks for reading my rant in the off chance you've made it this far (which you might actually have, since Reckless has been asleep all day and unable to send any equally-long but thoughtful emails).

XO,

Cindy

PS: I love you, Reckless!

Flat Out FAIL

Dainty Inferno — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 17:42:00 -0700

(click to embiggen)

Not a traditional LOLlergirl, but still funneh. I Can Has Lead Jammer--where Internet memes become derbyfied.

Thanks to Freddy Kruelgirl (Northstar Rollergirls) for the submission!

Mark E Smith Writes 417 Royalty Cheques Every Year

pigeonderby@gmail.com (Ruby Khan) — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 12:42:00 -0700

Print by Derek Erdman for InSound.

"On August 10th of every year, Mark E. Smith, leader and founder of semi-popular music group The Fall writes 417 royalty cheques to past and present members for their participation in the band. There have been a total of 592 members in the group including Smith since its beginning in 1976, but some have passed on, some cannot be found and some refuse the royalties stating that they want no longer want anything to do with the group. 'I've been coming for 6 years, it's not a lot of money but it's enough for snacks' says Tammy Barger who was the 11th keyboard player in 2001. Members who have been with the group for longer periods of time reap larger cheques. Paul Hanley was a member from 1980 until 1985 and sees a check of approximately £41. 'My wife makes me come; she says that I act they way that I do because of Mark and it's the least he can do to make up for it.' The process of writing the cheques takes 13 hours; groups of recipients are given appointment times and they are shuffled in by the dozen. 'It's bloody hard on the hand, innit cock?' said Smith about the process of writing the cheques before drooling onto the desk. There is an unsubstantiated rumor that the last person to arrive and leave every year is Karl Burns, who is often dressed in drag and answers only to the name 'Karla.' 'He doesn't have that name written on the cheque though; he wouldn't be able to cash it!' said Wampus Reynolds, the 15th bass player in 2004.'"

Related, The Wonderful and Frightening World of Mark E. Smith in 9 parts on YouTube. Watch it tonight if practice gets rained out.

That's Not Cellulite - That's Jammer Fuel!

Cindy Lop-her — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 07:50:00 -0700

Going into my college days, I knew I wasn’t the sorority type, and when I actually got there my suspicions were confirmed – I am not a sorority girl. I did however joke that I was starting my own sorority: Pi Pi Pi, bake me a pie and you’re in! No one ever took me up on it, yet that didn’t stop me from packing on 65 pounds in 6 months…

There was a time in my derby career – a time that existed up until several months ago, quite frankly – that I knew I wasn’t a jammer. Often times at team meetings someone would get a count of all those available to jam. “Don’t look at me!” was always my answer. I didn’t want to embarrass myself, but those days are behind us (and I suppose I could give a shit about embarrassing myself now too!).

This past Saturday marked the 3rd bout in which I’ve jammed – all three times for my home team, Speed Regime (oddly enough, a team not know for its speed). The first time I jammed was in May, our inaugural home season bout. Scared as shit as I approached the line, I got lead jammer and my opponent got a major, sending her to the box and leaving me unopposed for a full minute.

It was both the longest minute of my life and the shortest. It was a blur. I thought I had scored a 20-point jam. My whole bench was screaming, the fans on the floor were on their feet, and loud bursts of cheers came from the stands each time I completed a pass. “FIVE MORE POINTS!” I remember hearing our announcer, Dirty Mary, yell above the cheers of the crowd. Jamming, I then determined, is highly addictive. Each burst of the screaming crowd made me want more, while all the anxiety associated with being a jammer no longer mattered – this was totally worth the risk. The audience wanted me keep giving them reasons to stand up and yell, and I wanted to keep giving it to them. I still do.

We didn’t win that game, but that jam created something that had never existed in Baltimore before – Cindy Lop-her fans. I always resented jammers, because in general they’re the only players in the ever-changing clusterfuck of a derby pack that stand out to novice fans, so it makes sense that they’re also the only players who really ever get personal recognition and fans at the local level. In actuality, good jammers are good because their blockers are good, but only experienced derby fans realize this.

After the game I went upstairs to get a beer, which I sat off to the side and drank while taking off my gear (and no, I couldn’t wait for the beer). For some reason, no one saw me sitting there. What happened next was something I’ll never forget. A group of 20-something guys who had congratulated me on a good game as I was coming off the track were up at the beer counter talking to Joy Collision, who was standing behind it. “Do you know Cindy Lop-her?” they asked. That’s what caught my attention. When you talk to Joy, you talk to her about HER being a derby prodigy – you don’t talk to her about someone else. You don’t talk to her about me.

Their conversation continues with them telling Joy how awesome I am and asking her about me.

“Yeah,” she said, “She’s really big and really strong – well, she’s not really that big anymore – she’s really STURDY and can take a hit, but she can also skate really fast!”

Hanging on her every word, the guys retold the story of my first ever jam to Joy Collision. I looked around, I pinched myself – it was a very surreal moment in general but even more so because you don’t often get to hear what people really have to say about you – both strangers and people you know. It was an amazing gift that I’ll never forget.

At the after party I was a rock star, and some couple even had their picture taken with me. I’d be lying if I didn’t say it was a little weird, but I’d also be lying if I said I didn’t completely and utterly love it.

That 20-point jam that night turned out to only be a 10-pointer. Oops. It may have only been 10 points on the scoreboard, but it felt like a fucking million.

Two months later, last Saturday, I “beat” my personal best – that 10-point jam – by scoring a 12-pointer against the Mobtown Mods. I don’t remember the crowd being nearly as loud, and I didn’t have any fans come up to me afterwards, but I did get some pretty heavy congratulations from several of the Mods while on the line in the next jam I was in.

Jamming’s okay. Although I may never do it for the All Stars, I’ll continue to do it for Speed Regime. The fans, the recognition, and the drug-induced haze I get from the screaming crowd are all nice, but the real reason I’m going to continue to do it is for me. Each time I jam I prove to myself that win or lose I have the power to stand up to my fears and take them head-on. I learn something each time I jam, and it doesn’t hurt that sometimes that something is that it’s okay to have a bit of a big ego every now and again. It’s fun.

Roll Britannia was AMAZing!

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 09:24:33 -0700

photo by Teshi

LONDON ROLLERGIRLS ARE THE FIRST EUROPEAN CHAMPIONS!

In a bruising final bout, the London Rollergirls defeated the Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames 346-13 to capture the inaugural European championship. The Glasgow Roller Girls took third place, beating fellow Scots Auld Reekie Rollergirls 120-70.

Huge thanks to all the leagues who took part, the fans who came to watch, and the amazing members of the London Rollergirls who worked so hard this weekend and for the weeks leading up to Roll Britannia for making all this possible. See you next year?

Check out this awesome trailer courtesy of our own Baron Von Strange!

Whip It Movie Trailer

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 23:32:52 -0700

Juliette Lewis is a Holy Roller!!!!! HELL YEAH! Scarlot Harlot loves that but I don’t know what she will think about the movie! It is very weak they gave Lewis Dinah-mite’s name!!!! Of course it’s spelled Dinah Might. Obviously a blatant rip off. Booo. We started roller derby back in motion here in Austin, Tx. At the very least, they could pay Dinah-mite some green for all the time and energy she put into developing that character. Without a doubt there will probably be a lot of intellectual property stealing. The trailer looks pretty funny. Drew Barrymore’s laugh in the trailer rings a bell.

July 8

Cindy Lop-her — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 08:33:00 -0700

It’s hard to go back several weeks, single out a day like any other, recall where you were, what you did that day, and how you felt, especially when nothing particularly notable happened. This is completely unlike remembering the particularly notable days.

I always thought that I’d never be able to forget the day my dad passed away: July 8. I remember driving my mom and boyfriend to the hospital that morning to say our final goodbyes to the shell of a man who once was and who needed to be moved from the ICU to the morgue. Before we even made it into entrance of the hospital I remember thinking to myself: “July 8 – 7/8 – this date will forever be ingrained in my mind”. And I was right.

Fourth of Julys have never been the same. Memories of parties and fireworks are now superseded by recalling days on end in the ICU and the ICU waiting room. By the 4th of that year, I almost couldn’t take the waiting any longer, and I broke my streak of daylight hours spent inside the hospital on the 5th, opting instead for a toilet to vomit in and several doses of Ibuprofen. My mom was pissed.

This past July 4th was the same as the last few have been. Sure, we’ve gone to barbecues and celebrated with our friends, but that looming stale soberness is always there in every direction I turn. And on the 4th of this year I told myself, just like I have been telling myself for the past few years, that it will be the worst on the 8th but over on the 9th. Only I just realized here on the 20th that the 8th was a day like any other: I forgot to remember.

The 8th was a Wednesday, which means I went to scrimmage practice that night. It was 2 weeks ago that was the week we really meshed as a team – the 8th. We were relaxed, we worked well together, and we had fun. In an attempt to not overanalyze things, we bypassed our usual post-scrimmage team performance dissection, and instead sat around just chatting. I was so proud of what came of that chat – all the things we’d been saying and strategies we’d been explaining were being retold and reinforced by our newest team members to each other. “This is awesome,” I thought, “they got it.”

Mildly obsessed with our impending trip to Kansas City that weekend, I was briefly distracted earlier that day at work by a string of Chuck Norris joke emails sent to me by my boss who has a thing for jokes and who had just recently revisited the Chuck Norris kick after being reminded of it by someone I supervise. Coincidentally, my teammates were telling each other Chuck Norris jokes as we stood in the security line at the airport that Friday evening, and I didn’t even bring Chuck up. I did, however, share my best Chuck Norris joke that I had heard earlier in the week from a coworker: “When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he doesn’t push himself up – he pushes the earth down.”

Oh, god… Thinking back on it, I was late to work on the 8th. With the assistance of some “Chocolate Smooth Move” herbal tea I had drank in a last-ditch effort the night before, the stomach issues I had been experiencing since the 4th finally resolved themselves, which I suppose was both a blessing and a curse. It was a curse in that I had to tell my boss why I would be coming in late, but it was also a blessing, because as unpleasant as it was ridding my body of what I can only describe as layers of sediment dating back to the Mesolithic era, the shitting myself blind apparently kept me preoccupied enough to completely throw off my day, and I never noticed what day it was.

As much as things stay the same, they also change. My feelings of initial guilt over not having remembered my father’s death-day anniversary have now been replaced by a fond recollection of my dad as our basketball coach, his taking me to buy stupid joke books and allowing me to tell the same “orange you glad I didn’t say banana” joke over and over and over again on the ride home, and his persistent laughter at my singing what I can only describe as “the diarrhea song”. What can I say? We have the same sense of humor.

It’s funny – it’s the things we don’t find particularly notable at the time that creep into our minds and over time somehow magically transform themselves into really fond memories. I’ll probably always remember July 8, but in the grand scheme of things, the events of that day pale in comparison to the years of everyday events that shape my overall memory. July 8 may have been the first day no more memories were able to be made, but it was also the first day I began to remember and celebrate all those wonderful noneventful things that have made me who I am.

European Power Rankings

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 08:05:30 -0700

Inspired by derby news network, and following the wake of Roll Britannia, I present Interderbys new european power rankings!

Based on point differentials of roll britannia, heres how the teams appear to rank, and will move about the rankings from the results of interleague rankings from this point on.

1. London Rollergirls: clear number ones, this team blew apart the competition at Roll Britanna by huge point differentials.

2.Glasgow Roller Girls: GRG ranked 3rd at Roll Britannia but GRG played ARRG +50 point to GRG, where ARRG played BBDD with a +14 point differential in Birmingham’s favour, placing GRG above Birmingham.

3.Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames: Birmingham have lost key player Union Jack-U-Up, but are still going strong. A full bouting season is sure to lay ahead for next year, hopfully including a bout against #2 Glasgow.

4.London Rockin’ Rollers: London only lost to Glasgow by 11 points in their game, compared to Auld Reekies 50, moving LRR to number 4.
5.Auld Reekie Rollergirls: The Edinburgh team made a great tournament debut, winning their seed but taking a hard loss to number 2 Glasgow.

6.Stuttgart Valley Roller Girls strong team going since 2007, they faired well against number 1 LRG.

7.Berlin Bombshells : Another new team who made an upset in the seeded rankings, taking a lead against number 3 Birmingham in the first few jams. With some experience this team could rise up.

8.Cental City Rollergirls: Birmingham’s other team played strongly against ARRG, but a similar point differential to Berlin’s game against stronger team Birmingham Blitz places Central below Berlin.

9. Leeds Roller Dolls: Lost to Berlin by barely 10 points, but also faired well in their Birmingham game. I can easly see this team moving up in rankings in the next season.

10. Rainy City Rollergirls: A tough first bout for the rainy city rollergirls as their seed contained two very experienced teams. They played well and will be more accurately ranked once they begin bouting fulltime.

Teams from Roll Britannia unable to rank because of mixed team status:
Middlesbourgh Milk Rollers

Royal Windsor Roller Girls

Brawlin’ Angels Roller Girls

Romsey Town Rollerbillies

Rebellion Rollergirls

I would ideally love to see closely ranked teams play each other in the near future.

I’m not a huge stat geek-think the rankings should be different, please post a comment on why!

YOU CAN HAS TSHIRTS

Dainty Inferno — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 16:18:00 -0700

O HAI!

I Can Has Lead Jammer is very proud to announce that we now have supercool official ICHLJ tshirts available from Wicked Skatewear! You can has shirts with your favorite ICHLJ sayings on them!

Go get them NAO!!!!

You can also has ICHLJ hotpants from Wicked. More options coming soon (as soon as we can get a pic of booties wearing said awesome hotpants)!!

Thanks to B Train and Strychnine for making it happen! GRATITUDE. I HAS IT.

HRAY!

~Dainty

Open Caption #29

Dainty Inferno — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 16:15:00 -0700

Submitted by wolve-reen of Derby Revolution of Bakersfield
Photo by Boss Hogg (derbydude.com)
Skaters: Resident Vixen of Central Coast Roller Derby and Dred Blocker of DRB

Open Caption #28

Dainty Inferno — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 16:12:00 -0700

Submitted by wolve-reen of Derby Revolution of Bakersfield
Photo by Boss Hogg (derbydude.com)
Skater: Banshee Recital of DRB

Open Caption #27

Dainty Inferno — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 16:08:00 -0700

Submitted by Wendy Marie
Photo by Joe Rollerfan
Skaters: Unknown! Name 'em in the comments!

Open Caption #26

Dainty Inferno — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 16:06:00 -0700

Submitted by Geno
Photo: Jules Doyle
Skaters: Unknown! Name 'em in the comments!

i can haz mai pivut job back plz

Dainty Inferno — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 15:52:00 -0700

Capped and submitted by Slim Fast of Suburbia Roller Derby
Photo: Amanda Wallace
Skaters: Suffah Kate, Ann Sane, Anya Nerves, Slim Fast; ref: MotorPsycho (all of Suburbia Roller Derby

Same team butt secks iz four oh leegul.

Dainty Inferno — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 15:44:00 -0700

Photo taken, capped and submitted by Bitches Bruze, Pioneer Valley Roller Derby's Western Mass Destruction
Skaters: Joan'a Sparks (pivot) and Don't Care Bear of the New Jersey Hellrazors
Ref: Will Jettison, PVRD's Dirty Dozen

Open Caption #25

Dainty Inferno — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 15:38:00 -0700

Submitted by Roger H.
Photo: UK Photo Guy (http://ukphotoguy.com/)
Skaters from Morristown Madams and East Penn Crushbunnies

San Fermin in Nueva Orleans

Fri, 17 Jul 2009 06:51:33 -0700

When roller derby girls and New Orleans collide, …

The Running of the Bulls in New Orleans

Hellcat vs Holy Roller 09 Bout Recap

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 07:01:31 -0700

On Sunday night, the Hellcats bouted against the Holy Rollers. The Hellcats were finally healthy, but the Holy Rollers were plagued by injuries and forced to skate with several alternates. However, one should never count out the will of either of these teams.

Rookie Damsel Distresser, displaying great improvement in speed and skill, drew first blood for the Holy Rollers by scoring two points. Miso Vicious scored a grand slam five point jam, and Curly Suicide added two more to move the Hellcats back into the lead. Former Cherry Bomb Evilynn Carnate lined up many times on the jam line for the Holy Rollers. She scored two points, and Dixie Sanchez scored four in a tightly contested jam. The blocking powers of Knottie Knoxville, Dirty Blonde, Anita Confess, and Smarty Pants were all on display for this bout. Kinky Kowalsky helped out the Hellcats on the penalties by winning an arm wrestle versus Jesta Menace and a pillow fight against Punky Bruiser. Catalac and Smarty Pants faced off in a spectacular two lap duel. They seemed to be leg wrestling at the start line and did not begin skating for some time. Catalac got Smarty Pants into a headlock and skated a lap while still holding on to Smarty. She eventually whipped herself off of Smarty and beat her to the finish line to win the duel. Four jam points from Miso Vicious, three points from Smarty Pants, one from Dixie Sanchez, and four more from Evilynn Carnate brought the first quarter score to Hellcats 16, Holy Rollers 11.

After a scoreless jam between Curly Suicide and Damsel Distresser, Miso Vicious was able to break free and score three more points for the Hellcats. Dixie Sanchez added another five with a grand slam jam. But every time the Hellcats would begin to pull away, the Holy Rollers would find a way to shrink the gap. Damsel Distresser sped out of the pack to score a four point jam. Jesta Menace added two more, and Smarty Pants (skating and blocking fiercely throughout this bout) scored four more. Miso Vicious was able to break a small scoring drought for the Hellcats by blasting through the pack to gain five points. Damsel Distresser countered with five of her own to end the first half. The score at the half: Hellcats 29, Holy Rollers 26.

In the first jam of the first quarter, Curly Suicide and Damsel Distresser fought to a three point draw. Miso Vicious scored four points to make the Hellcat lead more comfortable, and several scoreless jams followed. On a reskate after a major penalty on Cathy Lixx, Miso Vicious took advantage of the Holy Rollers being down one skater to score four more points. On the next jam, Catalac scored one point to Damsel Distresser’s three. Kinky Kowalsky picked up her third minor penalty, leading to a reskate. On the reskate, Catalac stayed right on Damsel Distresser’s heels and each scored four points. Curly Suicide then scored a grand slam jam. Miso Vicious and Smarty Pants battled to score two points apiece. The score at the end of the third quarter: Hellcats 52, Holy Rollers 38.

In the fourth quarter, Damsel Distresser tried to get some momentum going for the Holy Rollers with a two point score, but Miso Vicious answered back with four more points for the Hellcats. Three points from Dixie Sanchez widened the gap further. Jesta Menace won a pillow fight for the Holy Rollers, but Curly Suicide scored another two points to put the lead even more out of reach for the Rollers. There were then several major penalties: Dixie Sanchez, Sindra Dee, and Punky Bruiser all spent time in the penalty box. In another hard fought jam, Curly Suicide scored four points to Damsel Distresser’s three. In the final jam, blocker Sindra Dee went to the jam line for the Hellcats. This would be her last bout before moving on in pursuit of higher education. She scored a grand slam five point jam, bringing the final score to Hellcats 68, Holy Rollers 43.

Next bout–July 26th–Cherry Bombs versus the Rhinestone Cowgirls. See you at the Thunderdome!

Lady A

Terrell Owen keeping it real

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 01:19:17 -0700

I LOVE Terrell Owens! Not since Ricky Williams and Dennis Rodman has an athlete held my attention. I know I am not supposed to like reality shows, but I’ll just admit I miss the Girls Next Door (I like Kendra), Gene Simmon’s Family Jewels and Snoop Dogg’s Fatherhood and can’t wait to see Terrel’s new show, The T. O. Show, premiering July 20th on VH1! I’m not sure if Tony Romo is enough for me to follow the Dallas Cowboy Season, as much as I love him. Apparently, Jessica Simpson won’t be there either! I have felt for some time, Jerry Jones is the devil and breaking up my dream football duo just proves it!

My all time favorite Dallas Cowboys!!!!

T.O. Apologizes in advance
I LOVE THIS! Thank you Tosh.0

Late Show – Top Ten Terrell Owens Advice For Kids

Anniversary

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 13:55:44 -0700

A year ago today was the first day of the rest of my professional life. A year ago today, I started the best job I have ever had.

Today, three coworkers congratulated me on a wonderful year together, one coworker took me to lunch at Treebeard’s, and my boss sent me a bouquet of cream colored roses and pale yellow carnations.

I haven’t looked at a library job board in a over a year although I do admit to salivating over some of the Libgig tweets. I may have been reformed by the love of a good company.

Person(a)

Cindy Lop-her — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 02:51:00 -0700

You know those times when people make statements or maybe ask for your approval on things, and you don’t really agree with them, but you know you should choose your battles, so you lie through your teeth or agree even though you really don’t? Well, I can’t do that very well. I’ve never been good at hiding my emotions – I’ve been told my face shows it all. Now if that isn’t a reason to get Botox, I don’t know what is! I’d like to think this is one of many stellar components of my personality – my face can keep it real even when my mouth can’t. In all honesty though, I know I do this, so I try my hardest to just be me, while also being nice about it.

When I first started derby I was really into the entertainment aspect of it – the name, the character, the dress-up uniform. I painstakingly crafted the image that I wanted the world to see. When Cindy Lop-her was on television, you’d know it was her. How? For one, my season 1 helmet mohawk – green to match my home team and gold to match the travel team. It was prominently featured on a Blood & Thunder postcard, which still hangs on my refrigerator today. I thought the mohawk was bad-ass at the time. Looking back on it now, I wish I had put as much time and energy into my skating as I did that fucking mohawk.

Season 2, I removed the mohawk. After having seen numerous television spots and photos of myself in season 1, I realized I looked awkward, and I decided I wanted to draw less attention to myself. That, and I knew I could use all the help I could get on the track, so I removed the eyesore that was the mohawk, telling my teammates that I didn’t want to stand out in the pack and (gasp! Here comes something thoughtful…) I wanted to be recognized for my skills, not a piece of flair.

As time has gone on, the persona and the uniform have both become more practical – as I’m no longer trying to appear to be the shit, I’m exposing all my personal shit, for one! As far as the uniform goes, it’s just a uniform now. I don’t want to look cute or sexy or bad-ass – I want to be comfortable, cool, and able to move easily. I no longer wear fake eyelashes or even makeup sometimes. I spend the hours before a bout preparing mentally instead of preparing my hair, which is only covered by a helmet and then drenched in sweat in 10 minutes anyhow. Some fans or derby enthusiasts may think I no longer try. I think I’m trying harder than ever.

In the days that I sported the green and gold mowhaws, I was careful not to let my work know I played derby. I wasn’t Cindy Lop-her, I was a professional, and I was to be taken seriously. Editor by day, rollergirl by night. I remember getting nervous when everyone found out about my secret identity.

Today, I sit in my scrimmage jersey on casual Friday, because we wear them when we travel, and I’m headed to the airport almost immediately after work to go to Kansas City. My office door sports the upcoming home bout poster, and my office walls, filing cabinet, and bookshelf all sport the home bout posters of bouts past. I often receive emailed links to national derby stories from my coworkers, and some of their kids even wear tee shirts supporting one of my teams.

A teammate of mine recently relayed some concern over a new haircut, wondering if she would be letting too much of who she was in derby into her upscale job. “It’s not just who you are in derby,” I thought, “It’s who you are.” It was then that I realized I no longer have two lives – I am Cindy Lop-her and Cindy Lop-her is me.

And you know what? I fell a hell of a lot more comfortable this way than I ever did when I wore a mohawk or a business suit. I don't have to worry about controlling my facial expressions either.

PS: Tonight I’m headed to Kansas City in preparation for our bout tomorrow night (6pm EST, I think it will be boutcast on DNN). This is an important game for me. We’re down players for this trip, so I’ll have more playing time than usual, and the chance to prove that I’m a valuable member of the regular roster. I’m going to try not to let that freak me out and to just play aggressive and well and keep my head in the game. I’ll update you as to how it goes come Monday…

Just thinking out loud....

Kari T. Ryder Wilkie — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 06:47:00 -0700

I'm not sure about the fashion merits of this Jean Paul Gaultier ensemble but it looks like it would be mighty useful on the track.

LONESTAR ROLLERGIRLS PILLOWFIGHTING COMPETITION–July 17th

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 09:35:58 -0700

FRIDAY, JULY 17TH @ RED7. 9PM – 2AM.

Come challenge your favorite rollergirl to an arm wrestle and witness the banked track beauties pillowfight to the death!

2 live bands! Rainbow Dragon and Through the Trees
8 teams, 7 fights! $5 at door.
Schedule:
10:00– Rainbow Dragon
11:00–Pillow Fighting Competition/Arm Wrestling
12:30–Through the Trees

RULES:
Single Elimination Bracket. First eliminations feature 4 fights, next eliminations feature 2 fights, then the Championship Title. 4 one minute round fights, except championship which is one 2 minute fight.
1 point for hits to the legs, 2 points for hits to the body, 3 points for hits to the head, 10 points for knockdowns, -10 point for stepping off the mat
Lose 10 points if you use anything else to hit your opponent.
Two hands at all times on the pillow.
Cannot tag out until round is up.
No beating/fighting when someone is down.
Teams with the most points move on to next round.

See you there!!

Northern Brisbane Rollers head into bout #4!

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 22:05:55 -0700

NBR Bout #4 - 13th July 09

For the Northern Brisbane Rollers, passing the roller derby hump of completing their first season is slowly approaching! With numerous obstacles such as illness and injury plaguing the league they still command an impressive crowd and never fail to wow their fans! Heading into their 4th Bout, this one will be no exception!

It stands at present with the Cupcake Cannibals on top with a 2:1 win against the Cut-Throat Cowgirls. The Cut-throats took the first bout with only a few points to spare. The second bout saw the cupcakes redeem themselves with an equally close score, leaving fans on the edge of their seat right until the final jam! With the third bout being a decider on who gets to claim current top pole position it left the cut-throats demolished! The score board showed an impressive score by the cupcakes, DOUBLE the cowgirls!

Will the Cut-throats redeem themselves to lead up to a decider bout #5???

SCHOOLYARD SCRAP
BOUT #4 – 13th July – Doors Open @ 6.30pm
Cupcake Cannibals VS Cut-throat Cowgirls

Morayfield Park Leisure Centre
298 Morayfield Road, Morayfield QLD

July 25th Home Bout

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 20:56:03 -0700

Get your tickets from any Rollergirl or online at Brown Paper Tickets. Visit our Schedule page for more info.

2010 Season Scoreboard

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 14:19:00 -0700

**** 2010 Scoreboard will be filled out as schedules are set!****It's that time of year again, and we got a lot of great feedback about last years scoreboard, so we thought we could go ahead and conti...

The Dress

Cindy Lop-her — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 05:06:00 -0700

Like many of you out there, I curse the days of my youth that I thought I was “fat” and decided I needed to do something about it. At 17 I had already failed at Weight Watchers once, and I became so distraught that I made my mom take me to the doctor, who essentially laughed at us and told me to eat more salads and get more exercise. Despite my belief that I was horribly fat at that time, over the past 13 years I’ve often looked back and been nostalgic about not only my weight, but also who I was back then.

At 17 I was fearless, much like I am now, and even though I had a poor body image I was a pretty confident person, and I liked who I was. I lost my way a bit when I went to college and moved out on my own. Not only did I gain over 60 pounds, but I also suffered mental and emotional setbacks like a lack of confidence and intense self-loathing. At the time I associated these symptoms with my ever growing waistline – because I was fat, I was unhappy. And, so, I attempted to fix the problem through this diet or that. From shakes and 87 different vitamins a day to meat, meat, and more meat, I tried everything I had heard worked for anyone else, and although I may have seen momentary successes, I always stalled and put the weight back on.

For many years I had a gold standard of success that manifested itself in my favorite dress that I had last fit into when I was 17. My mom called it “that horrible housecoat”, but I loved it more than anything else I owned. Better yet, I picked it up from a thrift store for less than $5 – an incredible find for even the shrewdest of shoppers such as myself! The dress was sleeveless and white with a vibrant blue flower print. Around the high neckline was what I used to refer to as “a doily” – really it was white flower appliqué, which was then repeated down the sides of the dress. It came below my knees when I bought it, but I quickly shook the old lady out of the dress by having my mom hem it into a mini-dress (against her will to put any additional effort into the housecoat). When I was 17, I wore it all summer long with 5” platform sandals whose platforms mimicked tree bark. I certainly thought I was the shit. How couldn’t I, wearing that getup?!

After 13 years of going up and down in size and packing and moving multiple times, that blue and white dress was the one thing from my youth that I kept and never threw away. Each time I switched over my clothes from winter to summer, I’d smile when I saw it, but I’d leave it in the box, hoping that maybe one day I would again be able to wear it. God, I loved that dress!

For one reason or another I had taken a bunch of ill-fitting clothes and placed them in a laundry basket in our guestroom – the room that essentially doubles as my own personal walk-in closet, not because I’ve made it into my own personal walk in closet, but because my clothes are simply everywhere and I don’t bother doing anything more about the mess than shutting the door. The dress had somehow made it out of its box and into the basket, which caused me to attempt to squeeze it over my ass several months ago, only to become depressed and long for the days in which I was able to wear cute quirky things. On top of the basket it has stayed since that depressing day.

Then, this past Saturday when unhappy with my current wardrobe and trying to decide what to wear to a 4th of July cookout, I again thought of the dress and how wonderful it would be if I could wear it. I had time, so I figured I’d try and squeeze into it, knowing I wouldn’t be able to, but at least seeing if I could pull it up over my ass this time. It was shortly after that when I started screaming from my upstairs hallway, unsuccessfully trying to get my boyfriend’s attention. The dress fucking fit!

Not knowing what else to do, but like any other tech-savvy red-blooded American, I immediately changed my Facebook status to reflect the fact that I was now wearing this 13-year old dress that had been my favorite dress in high school. Because, you know, I could only stay off Facebook for 3 days before I had to re-download the application for my phone and get back on to share the most intimate details of my life with the world. FAIL. I know…

Walking on air and with my head in the clouds, we finally made it to the cookout, and I instantly got asked about the dress and my earlier post on Facebook. As much as I love and am addicted to Facebook, I feel really weird when people I know refer to something I posted on Facebook in person. It’s the shy part of me that can still only express herself through her fingertips, I guess. In any event, I received a lot of praise and congratulations from people I’ve often talked to about weight.

Later that night I was sitting with a friend discussing a recent doctor’s visit she had attended. She was telling me that her doctor told her she needed to lose 30 pounds and how she didn’t know how he came up with that number, because even at 30-pounds lighter she would still be in the morbidly obese range on the BMI chart.

“I’m in the morbidly obese range on the BMI chart,” I told her. And it’s true. For my height, the government has labeled me morbidly obese. I’ve been in that range for the better part of my life! Yet, this time I thought about it and said it, I didn’t give a shit. Here I was wearing my favorite dress that I had kept for 13 years. I’ll be damned if I’m letting the man get me down today!

“Are you serious?!” she said. “But you’re wearing that dress!”

“Does weight really matter?” I asked.

“See,” she said, “I keep thinking back to what you said to me at the gym that time, ‘when you stop trying to lose weight is when it will happen’ ”.

Although I remember those words coming out of my mouth, I began to wonder if it is actually not doing anything that causes one to lose weight or if doing something for one's mental health causes one to lose weight. All these years I thought lack of self confidence and depression were symptoms of being fat, but now I wonder if being fat was a symptom of my poor mental health. This isn’t to say this is true in all cases and that if a person is 100% right in the head, she will be thin, but I think there is an association that exists between mental health and weight – at least for me.

When I tried to fix what I perceived as the problem all those times, I was really just temporarily masking the symptoms of something bigger. But when I gave up my all-consuming struggle to lose weight and started doing things for myself that made the core of who I am happy, my weight – to a certain extent – fell into place. There’s also a little something to say for the additional exercise you get when training as a member of your All Star derby team. The reason I fit into that dress (even though I’m now 7 pounds heavier than when I last tried it on and couldn’t get it over my ass) is because of the added activity and the increase in muscle mass.

And to think that I wasn’t even trying… That’s the best part of being able to wear the dress. If I wasn’t trying, then I must be living right, and really, that’s what that dress stands for now – living right. Mentally and physically, it feels great to be in a place where I’m confident and I like who I am again. Sure, we all have our bad days (in celebration of the dress I ate my face off at the cookout and have been in severe physical intestinal pain since), but as long as we learn from them and get back to remaining true to ourselves, we’ll be just fine.

East Coast Derby Extravaganza 2009

Kari T. Ryder Wilkie — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 06:03:00 -0700

Last year I tore my PCL just before ECE and wasn't even sure I was going to go. I went anyway, and had a great time watching, but of course I wished I could have skated. This year I wasn't going to let anything stop me. Luckily, I ended up on 3 challenge bouts. Unluckily, all three were scheduled back to back to back. First up: Superheroes vs. Villains. My name is probably more suited to the villains, but I always try to use my Mayhem Mojo for good, so I skated for the superheroes. Sadly, evil won over good, but we gave them a run for their money. Next up was Rice vs. Beans, which was definitely my favorite bout. Everyone on this team was super awesome and I had a great time skating with them. And, of course, Rice kicked ass (see score in photo). Last up was Babes in Skateland vs. Bruisejolais Nouveau. I was a Babe and was super psyched to rock my new baby blue ruffle butt panties for this bout. Babes won. Good times.

Oh, yeah, there were some WFTDA bouts, too. Sadly I was not able to watch the Boston v Carolina game (which happened at the same time as my challenge bouts), but I was there for all of the Boston v Windy City bout which was amazing. Also, there was a girl from Windy City who had a spectacularly sparkly shiny glittery silver helmet, which I covet.

Can't wait for next year!

Panic in Detroit

Cindy Lop-her — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 08:31:00 -0700

For a girl who named her blog Big Derby Girls don’t Cry, I sure do cry a lot. Although I don’t ever cry because I’m a big girl – I cry for other reasons. Christ, I cry over derby all the time. I guess I just love it that much though, which really isn't a bad thing.

My most recent crying episode took place where else but at ECE, the East Coast Derby Extravaganza hosted by the Philly Rollergirls in Feasterville last weekend (I hate the name of that town – it reminds me of a festering wound…).

Having completed our victory lap and spectator high-five hand slapping following our second game of the weekend versus Detroit, I made my way to the locker room as quickly as possible, not exactly busting out in tears, but more like unsuccessfully holding them in as soon as I entered the room. It's like when you have to pee really badly and you know you're close to a bathroom - you could have held it for well over an hour already, but once your bladder knows you're almost there it becomes so much harder to hold it in. Luckily my bag was in the corner so I could position myself so my teammates couldn't see the tears leaking out of my eyes.

Forty minutes into the game when I realized I probably wouldn’t be placed in another jam I gave myself permission to cry once I made it through the game and out of the locker room with my packed-up skate bag. It was all I could do several times in the last half in order to not burst into tears right there on the bench.

I was first into the locker room, but my teammates quickly filed in behind me – I had just several more items to gather when with a big booming post-victory voice I hear Lady Quebeaum say, “Cindy LOP-HERRRR!!! You have a fan outside who’s waiting to meet YOU!!!”

In one word: fuck.

A fan? What fan? I don’t have fans. For fucks sake, I thought, is this a joke? I only played in 2 jams today. Who the fuck wants to see ME???

“I’ll be there in a minute,” I said, still facing the corner of the room. I needed an exit plan and soon, because before long I wouldn’t be able to contain the emotions any longer and I didn’t want to experience the crying equivalent of pissing my pants right there in front of my team or whomever this so called fan was. Pretending to wipe away sweat, I dried my eyes and made a B-line for the door and from the door to the hallway behind the rink, looking straight ahead, not making eye contact with anyone. I swear I must have made it not 10 steps before I hear my name being called. Busted.

It was an old ref friend, Howie Swerve, who started reffing here in Baltimore but who had since moved out of state. I’ve run into him since he’s moved now and again, but I hadn’t seen him in a while. He wanted to introduce me to his friend. Trying not to sound like a douche, I started yammering about how I just had to run to my car. Howie said it would only take a second. I then had to take off my sunglasses and show him I was crying – the real reason I was avoiding meeting his friend. Embarrassed much?

At the time I couldn’t think clearly enough to pinpoint exactly why I was so upset, but I did know that it would look like I was being a spoiled impatient brat who expects to be handed whatever she wants, including vast amounts of play time, so I knew well enough to hide the tears from my team, because I didn’t want them to get the wrong impression. I love my team. And it was only several hours later that I realized what had hurt me most: I felt so close to my team going into this game, but after riding that bench so hard I should have gotten ass splinters I couldn’t have felt more further away, and it hurt.

When I was in grade school we seemed to move to a different state every 3 years. Just as soon as I finally seemed to be making headway by establishing friendships with the kids in my new school, it was time to go again. I remember the feelings of anxiety and utter isolation that consumed me in the initial days and weeks at my new schools. I felt those same feelings when I first made the team. I was unsure what the team dynamic would be, and I was afraid my teammates would be so fiercely competitive for those roster spots and game time that they might not be too accepting of my being there. Luckily, I was wrong.

My team is an amazing group of women who are so supportive of each other that even those girls who know they’re going up against each other for that last roster spot before alternate want to see each other succeed and help each other get better during practice. It’s truly amazing to be a part of this.

But what about the mere 2 jams, you ask. I was more surprised than anything, and I certainly wasn’t angry. I went into the game with expectations that I would play as much if not more than I played in the Carolina game, since Carolina is ranked higher than Detroit. Coming out of that game and my 2 jams, I was shocked and confused and sad. But like I said earlier, I was most upset that I felt like I was no longer part of the team – a feeling similar to that of my first day at a new school or my first practice as an All Star – a feeling that exists only in my mind and, sadly, is only of my own creation.

It was hard walking to my car after I talked to Howie. With my uniform tee still on, derby friends I know and don’t get to see all that often were walking by me saying “good game” and “nice win”. I felt like an imposter saying “thank you” with teary eyes behind my sunglasses, because at the time I felt that I didn’t really contribute – that I wasn’t part of the team that took that win.

I’ve since had time to think about things, gain perspective, and calm down. I’ve also had time to contact Howie, get his friend’s email addy, and send her a note apologizing for my lack of togetherness last weekend. Luckily, the feeling of being alienated from my team subsided in about a day, and I’ve been fine since.

I did learn several things from this whole experience. First, as much as anxiety creeps up on me before a game and makes me think that maybe I don’t really want to play derby, I now know without a doubt that I do indeed want to play. Second, my place on the team never went away or became less important than anyone else's place on our team – the feeling of alienation was something I created in my own mind. Third, communication is key. Like Dolly said to me yesterday, “It’s like a relationship, you’re never going to get what you want unless you ask for it.” I slipped through the cracks, so to speak – it wasn’t intentional that I was only placed in 2 jams. Bouts are chaotic and now I know to say something nicely and politely to the bench coach if it’s been a damn good while since I was last in the game. Lastly, tomorrow’s another day. Today may be good, today may be bad, but the potential to make tomorrow better than today exists with us all. Although I must continue to work on improving my personal skill as a player, I also need to learn to be less hard on myself. After all, I’ve got a fan. Holy crap, that’s cool.

Roll Britannia – The draw has been made!

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 06:30:32 -0700

The teams have been seeded for the first Euro tournament -Roll Britannia. You can read the official post, plus times and structure on the Roll Britannia website here.

Before the draw all participating leagues were asked to rank the participants from 1-12, one being the opinion of being the strongest, 12 the least experienced/weakest. The top four teams were put in one pot, the next four in another pot, and the last 4 in a third pot. One team was drawn from each pot for a group, with no local teams being drawn together (placed in the next group if drawn) so London Rollergirls would not play London Rockin Rollers, Glasgow would not play Auld Reekie, etc, in the first round,

Below are my opinions and predictions on the groups, and the tourny in general.

*Please note that these are MY personal opinions and do not represent my league, Roll Britannia or anyone else who may post on Inter Derby*

Group A

Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames

Leeds Roller Dolls

Berlin Bombshells

Birmingham have recently beat the Leeds Roller Dolls in an interleague game, and have also had quite a full on season this year, giving them much experience. Berlin and Leeds are a fairly new teams without much bouting experience. I would expect Birmingham to come out on top of this group, the question being who will win in the Berlin vs Leeds game.

Hooli’s Predictions: Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames

Group B

Auld Reekie Roller Girls

Central City Rollergirls

Royal Rebel Rollers

Auld Reekie are quite a new team but have been taking UK derby by surprise, recently drawing against the far more experienced Birmingham in a recent game. They’ve also played Central twice both at home and away, winning both, but the lead changed hands many times. It will be interesting to watch these two teams go for broke against each other in the tournament. Not sure who will come out on top, but the scottish breed tough women, so I’m going to say Auld Reekie. The Royal Rebels are a mixed team of Royal Windsor Rollergirls, Rebellion Rollergirls and Middlesbourgh Milk Rollers. Windsor lost a tough game against the London Rockin’ Rollers recently, and Middlesbourgh lost against Birmingham earlier this year, so the team has some bouting experience, but not much compared to the other two teams in this group. The one to watch out for on Royal Rebels will be Inky Minx, who has guest skated in many bouts, including a London Rollergirls championship. I think it will be a close game between them and Central, but Central may come out on top.

Hooli’s Predictions: Auld Reekie Rollergirls

Group C

Glasgow Roller Girls

London Rockin Rollers

Rainy City Rollergirls

Expected to be one of the most exciting seed groups of the weekend, and I’m not just saying that because its my league in it. London opened their season this year with a bout against Glasgow, a hard fought game with the points coming close at one point, but Glasgow ultimately took the win in the end. London will certainly be looking for a revenge win. But no one will be taking Rainy City too lightly, they have just played their first intraleague game with Glasgow guest skaters, and I am inclined to be a bit wairy of Northern teams, there seems to be steroids in the air up there or something. Anyway, this seed finds teams playing each other with fairly good knowledge of the other teams, with the exception of London against Rainy City.

Not sure who will come out on top here, Glasgow or London. I’m going to be biased and say London

Hooli’s Predictions: London Rockin’ Rollers

Group D

London Rollergirls

Stuttgart Valley Rollergirlz

Team East Angrier

Ah the poor teams who’ve been drawn with the hosts, London Rollergirls. The first and clearly number one league in Europe, LRG have a year more experience over all other leagues, plus two full seasons. Beating any team that comes to play them by incredable margins, the bets would be on LRG to win the whole tournament. But its not set in stone. Anything could happen. Stuttgart have a good squad and plenty of bout experience. I also know from experience that these are the kind of girls who go back to training two days after a bout (I need at least three recovery!). These hardcore Germans arn’t going to take anything lightly, and could very well cause upset if they try. Team East Angrier are a mixed team of Romsey Town Rollerbillies and Brawlin’ Angels Rollergirls. Neither of these leagues have bouted, although two Brawlin’ Angels did guest skate for Windsor in their bout against London.

But I’m inclined to go with popular vote and say London Rollergirls will take this group.

Hooli’s Predictions: London Rollergirls

SEMI FINALS

Based solely on my unqualified predictions in the seeding round, heres how I think the semi’s might go:

Birmingham vs Auld Reekie

This would be a great one to see, as these two teams recently tied each other in a Birmingham home bout. Not having seen that bout, I can’t really tell you anything about how this game might go, other then Scot’s tend to be hard hitters, while Birmingham have some quick and nimble jammers. If they keep their pack together and play smart, they may win, but if Auld Reekie know this as well, I think they may come out on top.

Hooli’s Predictions: Auld Reekie Rollergirls

London Rollergirls vs London Rockin’ Rollers

Besides being biased and confident my team will make it to the semis, it would also mean the much anticipated London vs London game. Although I would much prefer to see a London v London final, such is the luck of the draw. As stated before, LRG are a highly experienced team, while LRR have only played a handful of games over the last two years. As with any two leagues in the same city, this will be an emotionally fueled game, just the same as derby games in football (soccer-a derby is when two rival teams play each other, and usually are local such as West Ham vs Tottenham). It will be a derby derby! Both Londons will give it all they’ve got, and as much as I will envision positive outcomes for my own team, I’m going to take popular vote on this one as well and say LRG will take this one.

Hooli’s Predictions: London Rollergirls

The Finals

Auld Reekie vs London Rollergirls

Auld Reekie have never played London, so it will be a great learning curve for them. While this could possibly be a Birmingham vs London final, Birmingham recently suffered a defeat against London and I’d like to see a different team play them.

Hooli’s Predictions: London Rollergirls

Third place final:

Birmingham vs London Rockin Rollers

Birmingham and LRR have not met since 2007 in the first interleague bout in the UK, where Birmingham won with a contested one point victory. But all that aside, both teams have come a long way since then, and its very hard to say who will come out on top here. It could very well be another 1 point difference this time. So for lack of knowing who exactly will come out on top here, I’m gonna say my league

Hooli’s Predictions: London Rockin’ Rollers

Again, these are just my opinions on what I’ve seen and heard, with a little bias towards my own league. Glasgow could very well beat us and then go on to play the LRG. Central may beat Auld Reekie and then there may be a Birmingham vs Birmingham semi finals (which would be crazy if there was a London vs London one as well!!). Anything could happen, anyone can win and cause great upset. The thing about this first tournament is that no teams have ever been ranked in Europe ever, so no one has any idea what secrets some of them may hold. But it will sure be exciting, so book a flight, buy a ticket and come see history unfold!

*Last day for early bird weekend tickets is today, so if you want to save some money, buy now!*

Hitting a Car was the Highlight of My Week

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 14:21:31 -0700

Last Monday, I floated the Comal River like a rookie. Maybe it was because it was The Kitten’s first time to float the river, and I was a little nervous, hoping she would love tubing as much as I do. Maybe it was a bit of showing off in front of my cousins on my dad’s side who all are younger than me. Maybe it was way too much cider. But anyway, I fried my legs for the first time in twenty years. And not just fried all over…burned in a candy-cane pattern. Yes, I have red and white diagonal stripes up and down the fronts of my legs. Lovely!

Still, my candy-cane legs can’t top the marks I received from skating the Pride Parade Saturday night. Before the parade even started, I hit a car. Poor car! It was just minding its own business, and I came along and tripped into it. It was too dark to see how bad my Catazonianess damaged it, but the bruise on my upper arm says there might have been a dent in the passenger door. The bruise is even bigger than the one when I fell in the clothes hamper, which you can actually see in the picture on my Blogger profile. Nice!

By the way, I’m waiting to see pictures from that night, so if you have any of the roller derby girls rolling down Westheimer, either on wheels or on the ground wrastling, put ‘em out there! And thanks, Rushin’ Cleavage, for such an enjoyable evening.

I didn’t think the week could get any better than once again getting the crap beat out of me by stationary objects, but then I went to a Roger Creager concert yesterday evening, right smack-dab in the middle of what I like to think of as my old ‘hood (Oak Forest), and I know it’s hard to believe that only about 75-100 people would brave the heat wave from hell to see him at such a great venue (a little league ballfield), but the few, the brave, the crazy were rewarded with a free beer from Roger himself. Awesome.

Congratulations to SDDD!! And BIG THANKS to EVERYONE!!!

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 08:13:00 -0700

Congratulations to the San Diego Derby Dolls for winning the 2009 Battle on the Bank II tournament!! And thanks soooo much to everyone who skated, supported, reffed, worked the tourney (or helped out in any way!)! Couldn’t have done it without you!!

TXRD F*&@ing LOVES YOU!

Here’s a brief recap:

1st) San Diego Derby Dolls
2nd) L.A. Derby Dolls
3rd) Team Legit
4th) TXRD Lonestar Rollergirls

Other scores:
First prelim:
1st+2nd=Total
Team Legit: 74+49=123
AZ Derby Dames: 8+10=18

Second prelim game:
San Diego Derby Dolls:57+97=154
Vegas Renegades: 0+0=0
San Diego skater Taryn Hearts suffered a broken clavicle in this one.

Third prelim game:
TXRD All-Scar Army: 59+51=110
Hurricane Alley Roller Derby: 0+7=7

Fourth prelim game:
L.A. Derby Dolls Ri-ettes: 91+94=185
Red Dirt Rebellion Rollergirls: 1+1=2

First consolation game:
AZDD Lady Lux: 23+50=73
Vegas Renegades: 15+9=24

Second consolation game:
Red Dirt Rebellion Rollergirls: 28+26=54
Hurricane Alley Roller Derby: 12+20=32

First semi-final:
San Diego Derby Dolls: 28+16=44
Team Legit: 12+19=31

Second semi-final:
L.A. Derby Dolls Ri-ettes: 39+25=64
TXRD All-Scar Army: 18+17=35

Third place:
Team Legit: 27+18+14+17=76
TXRD All Scar Army: 16+16+23+3=58

Championship:
San Diego Derby Dolls: 23+24+19+12=78
L.A. Derby Dolls Ri-ettes: 20+16+24+16=76

watch Hell on Wheels for FREE at SnagFilms

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 20:45:03 -0700

dig it: http://www.snagfilms.com/films/title/hell_on_wheels/

YES, I CAN BE LEAD JAMMER.

Dainty Inferno — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 16:04:00 -0700

Photo: Joe Rollerfan
Capped and submitted by Jonathan R the Flying Squirrel, New York Shock Exchange and Gotham Girls Roller Derby
Skaters: Seattle Derby Brats Tootsy Rollers (aren't they the cutest lil rollergirls you've ever seen???)

Concussion Risks in Hockey

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 12:54:51 -0700

There’s an interesting article in the USA Today about concussion damage to hockey players. Similar problems are a real risk in roller derby!

The article features Keith Primeau of the Philadelphia Flyers.

Facebook Makes My Soul Weep

Cindy Lop-her — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 04:58:00 -0700

Among the many reasons why Facebook is killing my soul is the fact that I rarely have time to post entries here anymore. I’ve become addicted to the instant gratification I get by posting a million 25-words-or-less “updates” per day via my phone. I’ve come to feel that by the time I sit down to write something, I’ve already said it all. Yet, I’ve in fact said nothing. Curse you, Facebook, and the false sense of socialization you provide for me! Today is the day I do what I should have done weeks ago – I’m removing the app from my phone, and I’m done with Facebook for the week.

There was just a slight twinge of panic when I deleted the app, similar to the panic I felt last year when I took my last Vicoden for the second shoulder injury. I shouldn’t have felt that way about prescription drugs, and I shouldn’t feel that way about living without Facebook either. It’s like I don’t even know who I am anymore.

I knew things were coming to this last week while toilet surfing – I almost posted exactly what I was doing, as if telling the world I was making Mr. Hankeys was somehow acceptable now. Thank dog, I held myself back. Then yesterday I got a glimpse of the derby attitude I had before the massive Facebook obsession took its hold on me. I was blogging more, so I was more focused on derby. I knew where I stood and where I wanted to go, and I felt good about it! Lately, though, the lack of blogging has made me sad and confused. I guess I need to “get it out” so I can understand whatever “it” is that’s bothering me. And, well, you know me – I’m extremely long winded, so it’s completely understandable that I cannot accomplish a similar discussion with myself via a fucking Facebook update… While on the toilet (?!). I’ve boiled down everything important in my life to 1 to 2 sentences. Well, here’s 1 to 2 sentences: “Cindy’s taking her life back. Fuck you, Facebook.”

So much has gone on since I last blogged. I’ve noticed in myself a deep dip into self-doubt – similar to the negative self talk I use to have with myself back when I would choke doing anything derby-playing related. I’m a mental player, and I need my mind to be clear when I go into a game. I need to relearn how to focus, and I need to practice getting myself out of that place while in the midst of a game. This was the sole focus of my therapy session last week.

This past weekend made me proud to be a Charm City All Star – I wasn’t one of the 14 rostered to skate against Texas, but I’m super proud of my girls for bringing it and creating a point spread of 8 measly points, even though they lost.

This weekend is ECE in Philly, and I’ll be playing in our game against Detroit on Saturday, which is unfortunately almost entirely overlapping with the headlining Philly/Rat City game. Two weeks later I’m headed to Kansas City to play against them, so I’m hoping to be able to catch some of their games this weekend at ECE.

This coming week leading to ECE is a busy one, with practice tonight and tomorrow night and a butt-crack-of-dawn flight on Wednesday to Miami for two days with my mom. I think the mini-vacation will be good for my state of mind – that, and not being on Facebook while I’m there. I look forward to running on the beach (or in the spa on a treadmill because I’m not sure how to get sand out of my good running shoes and I don’t want to ruin them). I also look forward to good food and relaxation. Ahhh, it feels good to be back on track with my life. Maybe I’ll even bring my laptop so I can write while I’m there.

The Hamley Cup

Cindy Lop-her — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 02:29:00 -0700

More from me later, I promise. For now, please click here to vote for retired CCRG skater, Betty Beatdown's The Hamley Cup entry.

After derby, Beatdown has gotten really into hockey, and as many of us know, there's actually a lot of crossover between derby and hockey as far as strategy and blocking go. Anyhow, she entered a contest to replicate The Stanley Cup out of anything but foil. If you know Beatdown, you know her love of ham and bacon exceeds the desires of most "normal" people, so it's only fitting that she made a Stanley Cup out of ham and bacon. It's gorss, yes, but dear god is it amazing.

So, help this rollergirl win a prize for manipulating meat! GO HERE!

PS: 8 years ago Beatdown drank from the replica Stanley Cup. She was living in Toronto at the time, and the winning team just so happened to come celebrate in that bar, straight from the game.

June Round Robin Preview

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 17:19:18 -0700

The Houston Roller Derby will present a triple-header on Saturday night in Houston. Each of the league teams will play two 40-minute bouts that will count in the standings towards qualifying for the championship bout in August. The first bout will be a 20 minute half, followed by a five to ten minute break followed directly by the second 20-minute half. After the first bout is completed there will be a break of around 10-15 minutes while skaters in the second bout warm up, and then the second bout will be held. The third bout will be held in the same pattern as the first and second bout.

Because two bouts will count in the standings for each team, and each team has previously played two league games, the teams will have four bouts played in the standings after the final whistle of the final bout is completed. The teams with the top two records on the season will advance to championship bout in August.

The Psych Ward Sirens will come into this round robin bout with a big advantage, and undefeated 2-0 record for the season so far. Top jammers for the Sirens include Mistilla the Killa, DeMentia, and Jekyll and Heidi. Leading blockers for the Sirens are Carmen Geddit, Panty Raider, and Tex Offender. If the Sirens win one game they will be guaranteed a spot in the championship bout.

The Bayou City Bosses will come into this round robin event with 1-1 record. They will need to win at least one game, to have a chance to make the championship bout, and if they win two games they are guaranteed a spot and possibly the number one seed. Leading jammers for the Bosses are Death By Chocolate, Miss Lead and Holla Pain Yo. Top blockers for the defending champions include Nawty Dread Knocks, Goldie BloXX, and Becky Booty.

The Burlesque Brawlers will have a tough evening, but not an impossible time to qualify for the championship bout in August. They will need to win both of their bouts since they are 0-2 this season. Top jammers include Savage Rose, Private Been Jammin, and SpeedO. Featured blockers are likely to be Starr Doom, BushWackHer and Wreck Hell Welch.

All three of these bouts will take place at Kicks Indoor Soccer and Gym, 611 Shepherd Drive in Houston. Doors are scheduled to open at 6 p.m. with the action starting at 7 o’clock. Tickets are $12 in advance and $15 at the door. For more information please visit http://www.houstonrollerderby.com/.

Rosters are subject to change because of injury or illness.

Burlesque Brawlers: BushWackHer, Wreck Hell Welch, Starr Doom, Savage Rose, Speedo, Private Been Jammin’, Tempestua, Scar Wars, Princess Prozac, A Cute Psychosis, Toni Smasheries, Coco Chan-Hell, and Al A Buster.

Bayou City Bosses: Miss Lead, Nawty Dread Knocks, Goldie BloXX, Rebel Ann, Death By Chocolate, Becky Booty, Dailey Beatings, Tammityville Horror, Bobituary, Holla Pain Yo, Kiki Mojo, Babyface Assassin, Legzibitionist, Blindside and Hellabama.

Psych Ward Sirens: Mistilla the Killa, Jekyll and Heidi, Brand-Aid, Candy Codeine, Copperhead, Carmen Geddit, DeMentia, Domin8TRIX, Hot Rod Bettie, Ivana B. Sedated, Panty Raider, Punitive Damage, Scarlet O’Hurtya, Sick Nick, and Tex Offender.

Phil Arnold,
Roller Derby Is Sport

Drink specials/Food Discounts during tourney weekend!

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 08:34:58 -0700

All VIPs, Skater Plus, skaters, and anyone working the bouts will have access to specials and discounts at local establishments during the weekend of the tournament. Must have a badge to receive any of the perks!

CHAMPIONS SPORTS BAR—4th and Trinity:
20% off all food, $2 PBR, $2 Lone Star, $2.50 Cazadores Tequila Shots.

BULL MCCABES IRISH BAR—714 Red River
$2 dollar Lonestar
$3.50 well drinks

HEADHUNTERS TIKI BAR–Red River & 8th
$3 Domestics and $4 Imports
$2 Miller High Life
$3 Tecates & Lonestars
$4 Jager and
$5 Jager Bombs

HOBOKEN PIE–Next to HeadHunters
Buy One Get One on slices and fountain drinks

JACKELOPE
1/2 off on pizza. dine in only. no carry out

SUBMERGED–Trinity and Cesar Chavez
$2.00 Tecate
$2.00 Lone Star
$3.00 Jameson

Enjoy!

Thanks to all the local establishments have geneously offered these perks!
Also, fyi, Saturday afterparty is now officially 80’s workout attire.

Litmus Industries & Horse Head deserve a little John Waters

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 01:15:52 -0700

As owner of Groovee Fortune web /print design, I am proud to present 2 new web pages for some old friends. Because I have known these people for many years and have lived thru many fun and sometimes bizarre situations w/ these folks, I feel a John Waters’ intro is in order. It just seems to fit perfectly and profoundly.

Visit John Waters Dreamland
Cheers to Litmus Industries and Horse Head!

If you don’t know who John Waters is, I wouldn’t really know where to start. He’s a filmmaker of the darkest kind because he rips the face of June and Ward Cleaver right off America and shoves all the tragic, harsh, real parts of life down your throat. He doesn’t seem to take himself too seriously but he’s really fucking good at what he does! Just brillant. Drag queens, creepy folks, bizzare, absurd, ugly and tragic events…. You’ll just have to watch USA’s “Night Flight” on John Waters’ “Polyester” – 1982.

All I know is we have all lived thru some events together that make our lives eligible for a scene in a John Waters’ movie.

HORSE HEAD THEATRE

Kevin Holden, my dear old college friend, is part of the new Horse Head Theatre in Houston, Tx. My first 2 years at UT I probably spent most of my time with Kevin going to football games, drinking beer, playing racquetball, playing drinking games, etc… I miss racquetball! We used to play a crazy drinking game called Cardinal Puff…”For the first time tonight I drink to the Cardinal Puff.” While there are many occurences at UT vs OU and on 6th street, I think events at a What-a-Burger on the drag with a homeless man named Bucky who believe he was being followed by the CIA is one of our most Waters’ moment. I can best describe our relationship as a Strange Brew.

LITMUS INDUSTRIES

Tony and Lori Linder are the masterminds behind Litmus Industries. I can’t even count the numerous John Waters’ moments I’ve live thru with these two! I’ve always loved Lori’s sense of style and Tony’s art. Together they offer all kinds of fantastic creations. Beautiful glass work, vinyl signs, multimedia art, fantastic drawings, business signs, ironwork, etc. You’ll have to come back to this web page to see what ends up in the catalog for you to buy. As for Lori, I think mostly of our many trips to swimming holes in her dad’s old mint green buick which made me feel like we were The Muppets, a wild trip on the train trip to visit her in Seattle and a hunt to defend my honor against the bitchiness of one of the Donnas. Lori dressed me in fantastic Waters’ worthy clothes obtained around the country. The Linder house looks like a Ripley’s Believe It or Not Museum, perfect for the set of any Divine movie.

One of my funniest memories with Tony, I left the apartment he lived in with Bob Ray carrying my bike. I had to step down one step to the garage, slipped and end up trapped under my bike that was wedged into the step and a car. I begin yelling but the music was really loud. After about 15 minutes, Tony emerged and rescued me. I had sprang my ankle. Having much experience with twisted ankles, my best remedy was a 6 pack of Pearl bottles. About the time I finished my last beer, unexpectedly the police chased our friend, the neighbor, thru the apartment. Having lost their hot pursuit, who jumped out the second story and later called the police on the phone, the APD turned on us. My ankle, swollen like a catalope, was impossible to walk on and I was surrounded by beer bottles. The policeman walked up to me and asked me if I’d drank all that beer and I pointed at my ankle and he didn’t ask anymore quuestions. They threaten to take us all to jail, but luckily we were set free and left to our own devices. There are many live music stories I could tell about Red River and our trip to the Vegas Shakedown, but you can’t handle the truth. HA!

I’m very proud of Kevin, Tony and Lori. Despite our many adventures that might leave some in a straight jacket, we have grown up enough to do some things we can be really proud of! I am also working on new web pages for 2 of my college roommates (one is a Cardinal) but you can see those once they are ready! Enjoy and thanks for reading! XXOOO Beth Been

Imagine . . . “creating a theatre that to this point only exists in
dreams.” – Robert Edmond Jones

Bloggers Wanted!

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 04:09:36 -0700

I’ve had quite a few people sign up to blog and then, well…as you can see they don’t. But the invitation is still open! Anyone who wants to use this blog to spread international derby love is welcome to! Just give me an email and I’ll set you up. I’m really looking for people to cover australia and canada especially, I pretty much have europe covered, but have no idea whats going on down under (except I know theres alot happening, new leagues all the time!). As well, extra european bloggers are welcome as well.

So feel free to drop me a line and become an Inter Derby blogger!!

A Midsummer Nights Scream

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 04:04:07 -0700

Boston Derby Dames at the Boston Pride Parade 2009

Kari T. Ryder Wilkie — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 16:36:00 -0700

The Boston Pride Parade was wicked awesome fun. It's nice having everyone yell and cheer for you. It was also nice when the rugby players in front of us gave us a lift up Beacon Hill (Thank you!).

More photos here.

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

Dainty Inferno — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 17:51:00 -0700

Photo: http://twitter.com/johnyjuice
Capped and submitted by Mt Tillicum, NSO, Rainy City Roller Dolls
Skater: Tone Death (of Lilac City Roller Girls, skating for Atomic City)

I haz secret weapon...

Dainty Inferno — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 17:47:00 -0700

Photo by Marc Lebryk, Naptown Roller Girls
Capped & Submitted by Tom Klubens, Naptown Roller Girls (Thanks to Smackie Onassis)
Skaters (L-R) Enya Grave (Ft. Wayne Derby Girls Bomb Squad), 4 Leaf Cleaver (#777), J. Roller, & Joanie Gouge (#51) (Naptown Roller Girls Tornado Sirens)

O NOEZ! IZ UNIFORM POLICE!

Dainty Inferno — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 17:43:00 -0700

Photo: Joshua Craig
Capped and submitted by DayGlo Divine, Charm City Roller Girls
Skaters: Fanta-C (Carolina Rollergirls), Tuffy Twofists (Carolina), Luv Agreshun (Carolina), Mistress May Eye (Charm City)
Ref: DayGlo Divine, Charm City

Open caption #24

Dainty Inferno — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 17:41:00 -0700

Photo: Tom Igoe
Submitted by OMG WTF, Gotham Girls Roller Derby
Skaters: Surly Temple, OMG WTF, and ref Hambone, all of GGRD

SexxyBak.

Dainty Inferno — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 17:32:00 -0700

Photo: Darrell Budic
Capped and submitted by Octopushy, Mad Rollin' Dolls
Skater: LOLcat, MRD

LOLlergirls has now officially gone meta.

I...IS...SUPERGURL!!!

Dainty Inferno — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 17:21:00 -0700

Photo: Jeff Boyce
Capped and submitted by Roger H.
Skaters, from L to R: Neil n' Bob (referee), Ruthless Ness
(Dutchland Blitz), Cherry Crush (DB), Rogue Rage (Morristown Madams), Max Power (referee), ASSault Shaker (MM), Megan Whoopie (DB), Spanish Incollision (DB)

slap fite?

Dainty Inferno — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 17:19:00 -0700

Photo: Jeff Boyce
Capped and submitted by Roger H.
Skaters, from L to R: Ova Dose (Morristown Madams), Village Vixen (MM),
White Thrash (Dutchland Blitz), G.O.D. (referee), The Spanish Incollision (DB),
Inna Propriate (MM), Marie Antoithreat (DB), Predator-in-Chief (MM)

God Help Me…

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 14:43:42 -0700

People who really know me know that I am the last person to complain or make excuses. So I really don’t want to go here, but I’m starting to think that going here might help me like it did before.

Somehow I currently weigh 200 lbs., and I have for the past three weeks. Every time I get on the damn scale, it says the same damn thing…200.6. WTF? How is that possible? I have never weighed the same on a Monday as I did on a Thursday…ever. So what is the deal?

I put on my pants one morning three weeks ago, and they were too tight. The week before the damn pants fit fine, but now suddenly, they don’t fit? WTF? I didn’t do anything different that past week…didn’t start eating a ton of food that’s bad for me and didn’t stop taking the stairs. How did I gain about ten pounds in one week?

So I start to think, it’s bad water weight…it will be gone next week…but three weeks later, it’s not gone! WTF? WTF? WTF? I immediately started doing more strenuous workouts in the morning, and you would think something would change, but no. This is just too weird.

In two weeks, I have to go in for my annual exam, and my doctor is going to raise holy hell over my weight. I’m a little bit stressed about that, but I’m not going to change my eating habits over it. I don’t eat badly…this is so not fair.

But I guess tomorrow night, I need to avoid drinking the leftover margaritas after I turn in the portion to be judged. I should win something just for exercising restraint.

Keeping all your derby crap clean

Kari T. Ryder Wilkie — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 16:29:00 -0700

Promise of Derby has a nice post on how one keeps all of one's roller derby pads and gear clean and fresh-smelling. Or at least how to minimize the nastiness as much as possible.

Here are some other hopefully helpful links:

Derby Laundry (Promise of Derby)
Roller Girls Yahoo Group discussion on Derby Laundry
Why your pads smell like Doritos -- here
advice from brawlinbettys here
advice from hip domestics here
advice from Derby Nation here
advice from the Gotham Girls board here
WIN high performance sport detergent
Penguin Sport Wash

I Love My Old, Foreign Car

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:34:15 -0700

OK, so my car’s not that old, and it was made in America…but I have been driving it for almost six years, and it does say Hyundai on it. Sometimes I feel a bit guilty about both of those things, and sometimes I commend myself for changing my habits and standing up for a different way of life.

See, I grew up thinking that cars should be replaced every couple of years…mainly because my dad drives like a bat out of hell, and maybe a little bit because his dad owned a (foreign) car dealership, and also because my parents COULD replace their cars when they got tired of them. I still don’t know how they did it on their salaries back then, but they did. When I started driving, I had that “gotta have a new car” mindset and a lot more funds. Just for fun, here’s my car history:

1981 Ford Mustang (handed down from my father…I’ve got some good stories about this one!)
1989 Nissan Maxima (totalled this one in a ditch…wheeee!)
1993 Isuzu P-up (cheapest new thing I could find…hate it when I unexpectedly destroy things!)
1995 Isuzu P-up (this one had s-weet rims and custom pink pin-striping…should have never gotten rid of it!)
1998 Isuzu Rodeo (the biggest piece of crap on the road…I’m surprised I didn’t die in this thing!)
2001 Nissan Frontier (upside down on the Rodeo…had to go cheap again, damn!)

and here we are now with the 2004 Hyundai Santa Fe! Sometimes I can’t believe I paid off a car, and I’m not sick of it yet. I hope this car lasts five more years! I love this car! I need this car, because we have a house payment that goes up every year due to a crooked appraisal district and a daughter in private school due to my concern for her soul and her safety.

Somewhere inside us all, I think there is a place that can ignore the ads, and the media, and our friends, and anything else that tells us spending our hard-earned money is a good thing. A good thing is being happy with what you’ve got. A good thing is being able to provide EXACTLY what your family needs…nothing more, nothing less. A good thing is living the simple life. So my car is not new and it’s not very pretty anymore…but it’s a good thing.

Moon Pies!

Cindy Lop-her — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 05:38:00 -0700

I completely forgot about Moon Pies until we played against Carolina and they included a generous amount of the delicious southern treat in our dressing-room gift basket. They may have been a bit too strange for the rest of my teammates, but I screamed for joy when I saw them. MOON PIES!

When I was 8 years old my dad got a new job, and our family made the move from Georgia to Mississippi. I can’t say we moved around “quite often”, but we also weren’t strangers to moving – having moved from Arizona to Georgia on the same pretenses just over 3 years earlier. This move to Mississippi was different in that we hadn’t found a house to live in prior to arriving in Mississippi with all of our stuff. My dad’s company put us up in an “apartment complex” (and I use that term loosely) for the first 3 or 4 months we lived there.

The apartment complex I speak of was a motel – not an apartment complex. Nonetheless, it was home, and this first home in Mississippi is one of which I have both vivid memories of some things and complete lack of recollection of others. I remember getting a pogo ball when we lived there. It was a black ball with a red foot-board, and I thought it was ugly, but I had desperately wanted a pogo ball and I bothered my parents for it nonstop, so I used it, albeit not nearly as much as I would have used it had it been pink or purple. Day-to-day things, I can’t really remember. I think we had a microwave in one of our rooms, and I know I must have bathed there, but for the life of me I cannot remember what the bathroom looked like or how we ate dinner!

Nonetheless, there is one day-to-day occurrence that I do remember: studying after school and getting Moon Pies from the motel vending machine afterwards. It was fall and the motel pool was closed, but there was a swing set on the other side of it. After school, my mom would take me to the swing set and as she pushed me she’d ask me to recite my times tables. Six times one is six; six times two is twelve; six times three is eighteen… Early on I would have to think about the higher multiplications, like eight times nine. My mom taught me to visualize dots in my head, and it worked. I saw black dots against a red background. To this day when I have to think about math calculations in my head, I see the black dots against the red background. I still remember the repetition of the swing and how eventually the times tables, even the big numbers, became automatic – something I no longer had to think about. How did it become automatic? I’m not sure – it just did.

After a half hour or so of studying on the swing set, my mom would lead me through the maze of outside hallways connecting the motel rooms and to the vending machine where she’d give me however much money it cost to purchase one chocolate Moon Pie.

I totally forgot about the existence of Moon Pies until last month. When we left the motel, the placement of the Moon Pie in my daily life was cut to an “every so often” occurrence. When we left Mississippi for Maryland, Moon Pies ceased to exist at all.

I’ve been having problems lately executing a certain type of block. Worried about staying in my box, foot position, hip position, and shoulder position, I’ve been thinking too much about the block while blocking, and I just can’t get it. Like Yoda, Dolly told me yesterday to “don’t think, just do”. My natural inclination is to over think, because I’m afraid that if I don’t think I’ll wind up doing something in that bad-habit poor form I’ve been speaking so much about lately. It’s hard to know when to let go and when to think.

After practice yesterday I came home to the mini vanilla Moon Pie that I had saved from the Carolina bout sitting on the counter – begging me to eat it. It was then that it hit me: just like how the times tables eventually became automatic, so would this type of block – I just need daily repetition.

The coaches have told us before why we should practice certain things at home, and it’s not that I didn’t believe them. It’s more that I didn’t fully get it. Thanks to the Moon Pie, I got it.

Lessons learned today: agree to see an apartment before you move into it, repetition of a skill makes that skill automatic, and Moon Pies are a gift from the gods – a treat that is both delicious and smart!

Roller Derby Injury Reporting Form

Kari T. Ryder Wilkie — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 10:07:00 -0700

Awhile ago I created an injury report form for my league, to help us keep track of our injuries, and hopefully help prevent them in the future. It is a form created with Google Docs which can be submitted online (which people seem to find easier to do). I thought I would post a generic version here in case anyone else is interested in using it as a template for their own league.

Generic Roller Derby Injury Report Form:
http://spreadsheets.google.com/ccc?key=rG6K629ny2yXoCicZGydZ_A&hl=en

If you are not familiar with Google forms, you should follow the link above, and then create a copy. Once you have your copy you can edit the form for your own particular needs. If anyone has any questions, I would be happy to help.

Car Wash!

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 12:20:27 -0700

When: June 6 Th 9:30am till 5:00pm

Where: Carollo’s Bar & Restaurant
2303 Marne Hwy Hainesport, NJ 08036

Rain Date: June 7th 12:00pm till 5:00pm

**Stop by to have a roller derby boy or girl give you a ticket to receive your special HAPPY HOUR PRICE on food and drinks when you get your car washed!!

Bad Habits

Cindy Lop-her — Sun, 31 May 2009 07:25:00 -0700

I was ready to have a great day today – I really was – but then I had All Star practice and now I feel like my happy mood of early morning is nowhere to be found. I’m frustrated – very frustrated. The practice itself was great. My performance in it was not. I learned a lot today about how many bad habits I’ve accumulated (and in some cases perfected) over my derby years, and I feel like no matter how hard I try I just cannot break them.

I know they say quitting smoking is hard. It wasn’t for me. What is hard? Aside from my natural inclination to eat the portion size delegated to a family of five (I think I’ll always have to watch that – I like food), there are certain things I’ve always done in derby that are wrong. Not “differing in style”, but just plain wrong.

Part of me realizes I only have myself to blame. When we started our league we didn’t know what the hell we were doing, and we taught other girls to do things wrong, because we were either told by someone from another league who was also ignorant or we flat out made it up – not to hurt anyone, but because we didn’t know any better and we honestly thought what we were teaching made sense.

There’s another important and often overlooked aspect to the story here. Not only did we instruct and be instructed to do things wrong, but also there was a hell of a lot we just never considered and didn’t know we didn’t know. Shit, it was LAST YEAR that I learned to crossover in a way that maximized all my strength and speed. There were basics that I was never taught, that I never thought someone should have taught me, or that I never knew to teach anyone else. I feel responsible for not only playing a part in teaching the wrong things, but also for not knowing we weren’t training our ladies in a well-rounded manner.

Now, here I am – nearly 5 years later. I’m still doing (and in some cases NOT doing) shit that is not effective, not helpful to me, and worst of all, I can’t seem to get those basic reactions and movements to change. Today, I know FULL WELL what I SHOULD be doing, but it’s not natural and my body falls back into “we’ve always done this in response to that, so we’re doing it again” – a “fuck you” from my body to my brain. Great.

There is one bad habit that I’ve always had that was again present at today’s practice, but it wasn’t one that’s exclusive to roller derby. No, this is a problem I have throughout my life, so I should not be surprised it reared its head at the rink this morning. I get frustrated. Not just “gosh, darn it” frustrated. BLIND RAGE frustrated. Where if I can’t control the snowball effect of the frustration, I’m either gonna cry or flip out. Not to mention that it consumes my brain and body, and I cannot perform the simplest derby task you’ve asked me to do, because I’m so worked up. My body repeats its old mistakes because of this, I get even more frustrated because I can see this cycle happening, but that only continues to fuel the fire.

Today? An asthma attack. I can’t say that my frustration directly caused the attack, but I was pretty fucking frustrated when it happened. Maybe the frustration manifested itself in a part of my body that was already weak (still getting over the spring cold and it’s humid as all hell in Baltimore right now) – I wouldn’t be surprised.

I need to learn to control myself.

I know first hand that remaining calm and clear-headed in the pack does wonders for my performance. I’ve seen glimpses of this (it could be two jams a night), but they aren’t consistent.

It’s so hard to have such a strong desire to want to change and become better, only to sideline yourself with your own bad habits. If I can’t kick these things, I won’t play much with the All Stars. I wish I knew what I needed to do to break these physical bad habits quicker. I know I need to practice mental control to break perhaps the worst habit of all. I guess I’ll start there.

I remember when I was 17 – the first time my mom had me join Weight Watchers. At 17 I was naturally frustrated at the lack of perfection I saw in the mirror, but when the “plan” didn’t work as quickly as I thought it would, I got that same feeling of blind rage and utter failure that I had this morning. I had only lost 3 pounds. I don’t know how many I was thinking I would lose, but 3 was completely unacceptable in my mind.

I came home, kicked some shit, cried, and ate a whole hell of a lot to “show them” (the Weight Watcher’s women behind the scale). Productive, I know. Later that day, after I had calmed down, my dad brought me a plastic grocery bag filled with water and tied off at the top. It weighed 3 pounds. Having seen it put that way, 3 pounds didn’t seem as small as it did in my head earlier that day. It was heavier than I thought, and the volume was greater. Maybe all the hard work I did during the week had paid off in that 3 (measly) pounds.

If I had vacation time for each instance I allowed myself to get to the point of feeling utter failure and blind rage because of frustration, I could probably take a whole year off work. It’s a waste of time, and I’ve wasted a lot of time over the years. How much time have I wasted on the track? Just about an hour today.

It’s hard being an adult and being responsible for yourself. I no longer have someone to hand me that bag full of water – I have to do it on my own, which I haven’t fully learned to do yet. Oddly enough, I don’t think I would have “gotten it” – the fact that I need to learn to self-regulate myself to conserve time – if I hadn’t went through the process of writing this entry.

Writing this blog has held me accountable. Usually I shame myself into being accountable by telling you all publically what I need to do, and then I know I’ll look like an asshole if I don’t follow through, so I do it. This is different. This entry is more a connection that has allowed me to access some of the knowledge I learned at a different time, and I’m thankful for that.

Today’s takeaways: self-control, practice, and patience. It’s unrealistic for me to think I can unlearn so many bad habits RIGHT NOW. I just need to take the time to repetitively practice the new skills and recognize that over time they will replace the older, incorrect ones. Time’s not necessarily on my side, but I only push my final realization of making the new skills automatic further away when I allow myself to lose control. This is true for so much of life, not just those portions of it I spend on 8 wheels.

Carrie Rodriguez, All Growed Up

Wed, 27 May 2009 23:39:40 -0700

The first time I remember seeing Carrie Rodriguez was at a Frances Nail(her grandmother) book signing in a historic house on 7th in Austin, Tx. Carrie was dressed in fancy dress playing classic violin for the crowd. She couldn’t have been older than 10, but it is hard to say. She was really good & very confident. The dresses in “Never Gonna Be Your Bride” made me think about that day and how far she has come.

Fast forward many years and Carrie has traded in her violin for a fiddle and took off her little girl dress and really laid some tracks in a short time. She’s already been on Austin City Limits and Grand Ole Opry. Some people wait a lifetime to do either.

Carrie’s grandmother Frances is my grandmother Mary’s first cousin. I remember Frances’ mother, Kate, as a kid. Somewhere in there Carrie and I are cousins. Maybe I’d met Carrie at the book signing, but let’s say the first time I met up with Carrie as an adult professional musician was at Waterloo Records. Beau and I went to a Carrie Rodriguez and Chip Taylor in-store. Frances was supposed to be there but wasn’t feeling well so when it came time to go thru the line I walked up with a handful of Texas Rollergirl swag (guitar picks, etc) and announced like a crazed fan, “Hi, I’m your cousin Beth and I’m in the roller derby, blah blah blah blah blah…brought you some stuff…crazy talk…babble babble…this is my husband…great set…talk talk…”

Many months later, I went to the Gingerman and up walked Carrie…”Hey aren’t you my cousin?” We got to see her jazz sax playing husband, Javier Vercher, that night at an open mic. It was great. It’s been a while since I saw Carrie live, but I know she has toured with Lucinda Williams and probably traveled the world, fiddling all the while wooing the hearts of many. I was excited to see her solo, looking so sassy on Austin City Limits. I saw one of her videos on ME Television and wanted to email my mom and video and found so much stuff, I might as well pass it on to you. Looks like she has a new album, She Ain’t Me. Try it you might like it!

If I ever had to fight the Devil in Georgia, I’d definitely recruit Carrie for the event. Not to put words in her mouth, but I imagine her saying, “My name’s Carrie and it might be a sin, But I’ll take your bet, your gonna regret, ‘cos I’m the best that’s ever been.” She’d kick her cowboy boots in the dirt and show the Devil a thing or 2 about fiddling!

Carrie sings a song called Memphis, Tx which is cool since I was born there and lot’s of my family still lives just down the road from Turkey, Tx – home of Bob Wills. I must mention her mom, Katy Nail.

Go Carrie Go!

Hooligans Skate In

Tue, 26 May 2009 05:01:43 -0700

A#1 Roller Rager

Roller Derby at NASS Music/Sport Festival

Mon, 25 May 2009 17:37:06 -0700

The first time Roller Derby will be played in a UK festival, two teams made of skaters from different UK teams will go head to head in the Battle Of Pastings!

Roller derby activities will be available all weekend, but the big bout takes place on Saturday-don’t miss it!

Check out the NASSfest site for more details http://www.relentlessnass.com/news.php?mode=news_detail&t_id=33

Slow Evolution of International Derby

Thu, 21 May 2009 16:32:07 -0700

Bar a few months last year, I realised that I’ve been skating in England for over a year. My league had been bouting away games here and there in that time, but we have only just launched our first home inter-league season here in London.

The evolution of derby abroad seems a bit slower then that of American counterparts, for many different factors. Venues are hard to secure, the sport is new so no one has herd of it, and training is done with no previous experience, just a lot of internet research.

England, compared to my homeland of Canada, is a small country. A small country with a hell of a lot of people. A Lot of people who don’t play hockey. So normal venues I’m used to (hockey arenas in the summer) just aren’t available here. Big, open, skateable areas are either non existent or extravagantly expensive. Due to the cramming of millions of people in a small place, buildings are built with the idea of conserving space. In a country where their major sport is played on grass, there is just no need for many places that would be ideal for derby…cause you just can’t skate on a football pitch! I hear about many leagues internationally having problems finding appropriate areas to house their practices and bouts, which will definitely hinder your growth as a league and expend a lot of energy, stress and phone credit.

Once you find a home, you need skaters! Leagues, American or not, go through the growing pains of begging their friends, family and co-workers to join this amazing sport, and some staying or leaving. Recruitment outside a social circle rarely takes off until after a first public bout. However in America you have many leagues making both local and nationwide media coverage, everything from music videos, commercial adverts, talk shows, game shows to your traditional news media forms. The media is intrigued by an old sport making a new comeback. People hear about it and they want to join, and they will actively seek out their local league. However in places like England or Germany, the sport never existed here. It’s completely new, and that can be a disadvantage to creating initial interest. The sport has to build its own following from scratch, which can be a longer process.

Then we have training. In Canada and America it’s usually not a very far drive to a well experienced league. Training and coaching tips are shared, bootcamps are well attended and it snowballs to improve athleticism at a rapid pace. Overseas you will have the chance that maybe an experienced player will be vacationing and want to come visit your league. My league has been going for two years, and when they started they had to not only learn to skate and play the game, but also teach others to do the same. To women who are neither coaches or technically trained athletes, it was a daunting task. Now two years down the line we have honed and defined many skills in teaching fresh meat, and the pace that they learn things now is much faster then fresh meat who learned a year ago. Leagues receiving training help from experienced skaters grow and evolve far more quickly, and it seems only one in Europe has had much help and has far surpassed other leagues.

There are many things that hinder and slow the development of the sport abroad, besides venues, publicity, and training, small cultural factors may also play a part…for example in Canada skating (though mostly on ice) is a national past time. Not so much here. Language barriers may be stopping non-english speaking countries from learning the rules, or about the sport at all. Germany and French Canada seem to be the only ones, but I know that many members of leagues in both those countries speak English.

Nevertheless, derby always seems to persevere. It may take a couple more years for the sport to grow here, for leagues to be large enough to have full intra league seasons. We may have to practice in small venues. And we may have to find new and exciting ways to catch the media’s eye, but we will do it. This year saw my league’s first season, Europes first tournament, and new leagues popping up all over the world every day. Next step: World Wide Derby Domination!!!!

Oh, an American leagues…feel free to spread your knowledge to your international sisters by paying us a visit!

Roll Britannia Venue Announced!

Tue, 19 May 2009 10:39:18 -0700

Time is now to book your hotels, Euro Tournament Roll Britannia has announced the venue as- Earl’s Court!

Plus, they are now opening registration to an additional 4 teams!

Press Release:
Roll Britannia Venue Announced!
After a very nervous few weeks, where all of us here at Roll Britannia had our fingers crossed, we are excited to announce that we have secured our first choice venue. Roll Britannia will be held….wait for it…at Earls Court! (Brompton Hall to be exact).

Registration open for additional Team.

The extra good news is that we can now extend the tournament to include 12 teams! So, if you missed out on registering the first time, or weren’t sure about participating and now think your team will be ready — please email us rollbritannia@londonrollergirls.com for a copy of the application form. Remember – mixed teams can take part, so if you think you have half a team ready, post on the Roll Britannia forum on our website http://forum.londonrollergirls.com/viewforum.php?f=51 and see if anyone else is in the same boat. The registration fee does not need to be submitted with your application – we will request it (payable within one week) when we confirm your slot.

Berlin Bombshells (currently on the waiting list) are eager to be put on the tournament roster, and while LRG does have a B Team we could enter – we would really prefer that another league is given the opportunity to participate. First come, first served for the last remaining slot in the tournament!

Roll Britanna will be played to 4.0
The WFTDA switch date is 1st June – we know many of you are already training to 4.0, please everyone else note that the tournament will be played to the new ruleset.

Ref Registration is closed.
Ref registration closed on the 30th April, and all refereeing positions have now been filled. There are however, some Non Skating Official roles still available. If you’d like to apply for one of the NSO roles, please use the Officials/NSO Application form downloadable from the website, and fill out as appropriate.

Announcer Registration now open.
An announcer registration form is available to download from the Roll Britannia Website.

Upcoming Important dates:
Deadline for Announcer Applications: 31st May 2009
Deadline for Submission of Team Roster: 5th June 2009
Deadline for Submission of Roster Changes: 19th June 2009

Tournament Accomodation

We are in negotiations with a number of hotels and hostels, stay tuned for information.

CNN: Women’s Roller Derby Dishes Out …

Mon, 18 May 2009 10:49:26 -0700

CNN’s Medical Producer Val Willingham recently wrote a piece on roller derby, the workouts, and the injuries. Visit the site for photos, a video and additional side coverage.

(CNN) — Amber Mori drives a forklift in a warehouse in Gaithersburg, Maryland. As a working mom, she’s on the go 24/7. But twice a week, Amber transforms into “Cykosis,” a fishnet-wearing, skatin’ diva, who bumps and jabs her way around a roller rink.

Amber has been skating for more than a year as a member of the “Mason Dixon Roller Vixens” roller derby team. What started out as a lark has now become a passion for her. “I love it; it’s a great way to get out, be invigorated — and the companionship is wonderful,” she says. “And I’ve got legs as strong as pythons.”

Women’s roller derby started as a professional sport in the 1920s, when teams criss-crossed the country, jabbing and jostling and duking it out for money and, eventually, the national championship.

By the 1970s, roller derby teams (and their fans) started to wane.

But with the resurgence of the extreme sports craze, women’s flat track roller derby has made a comeback. Tired of pilates and Jazzercise, a lot of women started looking for more exciting outlets to stay in shape; the campy novelty of the sport piqued interest. Now, nonprofessional groups such as the Vixens are popping up all over the country. Watch the Mason Dixon Roller Vixens do their thing »

The games became so popular that the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association was established in 2004 to promote the sport by “facilitating the development of athletic ability, sportswomanship and good will among member leagues.” Not all women’s roller derby teams belong to the league, but the league hopes to offer rookie groups like the Vixens an opportunity to join.

Playing out of Hagerstown, Maryland, the Vixens started small — only eight women. Now their roster has more than 20 names, from “Stun Hun” to “Squeaky Bomb” to “Fanny Harmher.” The monikers, the costumes and the attitude are all in fun.

But the workouts are intense. Twice a week, the gals practice in order to stay flexible and in shape. Their coach, Travis “Groper Cleavage” McGlaughlin, puts them through sit-ups, pushups and stretches to improve their endurance. “They need to stay in shape,” he says with a laugh. “Racing around the rink may look easy; it’s not. It takes a lot of strength and stamina to just keep going.”

Team Captain Jocelyn Bassler, better known to her fans as “Skid Ho,” says roller derby is the best workout she’s ever had. A former high school athlete, Bassler was looking for a sport to keep her in shape when she discovered the rink. “Why go to the gym if you have roller derby?” she asks.

Mori agrees. Since joining the group, she says she’s dropped some weight and she’s not surprised. According to sports medicine experts, an average-sized skater can use 400 to 1,000 calories an hour in competition, depending on how fast they skate. “At first I had a lot of toning in my legs,” Mori says. “But since then, I think I’ve lost 16 pounds.”

The women will also tell you that along with the thrill of victory comes the agony of bumps and bruises. They’ve suffered a couple of broken bones, swollen ankles and jammed fingers. So practice also includes drills to teach the women how to fall correctly. “Because if you’re not prepared to fall, you just aren’t playing the game,” says Bassler. “It’s tough, but I love it.”

Dr. Stuart Willick, associate professor at the University of Utah Orthopaedic Center, knows it’s tough. The university’s sports medicine team provides on-site medical coverage for the Salt City Derby Girls of the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association. “We have recognized that these skilled and dedicated athletes are at high risk for various musculoskeletal injuries,” he says. “Furthermore, this population of athletes is generally underserved by sports medicine experts.”

In an effort to better understand roller derby injuries, Willick and his colleagues are undertaking what they call “the most comprehensive study of roller derby injuries to date” by compiling questionnaires from roller derby leagues all over the country.

By studying how athletes get hurt, they hope to figure out how to prevent future injuries and keep derby girls safely rolling. “There is a lack of medical knowledge concerning roller derby injury epidemiology, treatment and prevention,” says Willick. “We feel it’s important to better understand injury risk among these athletes in order to improve treatment and prevention protocols.”

Willick says his group has had more than 1,000 respondents to its electronic injury survey so far; he hopes to have the final results by summer. “The high response rate indicates that the athletes themselves feel that this is an important issue,” he says.

The Vixens will agree: Roller derby can hurt and is not for sissies. But injuries or not, these divas will tell you there is no other game in town, and if they get knocked down, they’ll just get up again and keep on rollin’.

Defeat: Nutritious, But Not Delicious

Mon, 18 May 2009 04:39:07 -0700

Ah, defeat. You are not a delicious treat, but you are nutritious.

Results ‎From Canada’s Beast of the East 2009

Sat, 16 May 2009 03:21:51 -0700

April 25th saw 16 Eastern Canadian Teams battle it out in the second year of Beast Of The East. Last year the Hamilton Harlots from Hammer City Rollergirls take the title. This year Montreal was determined to keep the prize on their home turf.

Teams from Hammer City Roller Girls (Harlots, Death Row Dames), Toronto Roller Derby (Chicks Ahoy, Smoke City Betties, Gore Gore Rollergirls, Bay Street Bruisers, Death Track Dolls), London (Thames Fatales), Tri City Rollergirls (Venus Fly Tramps, Vicious Dishes), Ottawa Roller Girls (Capital Carnage), Rideau Valley (Slaughter Daughters), GTA Rollergirls (Derby Debutantes) and of course Montreal (La Racaille, Les Contrabanditas, Les Filles du Roi) took to the track in a tiring 28 bouts (20 min bouts) over two days.

A great game-by-game play can be found at the wonderful Derby News Network

I wish I was there to see this contest. Some newer leagues (GTA Rollergirls, both Ottawa Teams, Tri City Rollergirls-all have been going for only about a year or so) were going head to head with some leagues who’ve been around 3 years or more. Some surpises in store though where previous Tri City winners Venus Fly Tramps were taken out by the less experienced Slaughter Daughters in a 34 point gap. Slaughter Daughters also went on to eliminate another experienced team-the Thames Fatales. Whilst the Vicious Dishes beat the Bay Street Bruisers, a team who has been running for over 3 years.

I was glad to see the Smoke City Betties power their way to the semi-finals. Since I’ve left canada they have clearly improved. They were playing in the tournament with their leagues two previous championship winners (Gore Gores, Chicks Ahoy) but only they made it as far as they did. Could we have a new TORD championship team this year?

The Championship bout saw two home teams from Montreal face off against each other, La Racaille and Les Contrabanditas. A really tight game, but La Racaille came out on top to be crowned BEAST OF THE EAST CHAMPIONS!!!!

Congrats to all that participated and gave their all!

Results ‎(Beast of the East 2009)‎

Photos by the talented Derek Lang of Bagelhot.com

Roller Derby Disorder Newsfeeder

Helmet design contest

My Interview With Lilly Lightning

Updates and Links

Hell on Wheels screens in Asbury Park, NJ on Fri

Hell on Wheels screens in Asbury Park, NJ on Fri: http://njmonthly.com/events/7123.html

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 20 @ 10:00PM Special LIVE and Film Event Featuring a screening of the film “Hell on Wheels” Special post-film appearance by the Jersey Shore Roller Girls

Mid-derby Identity Crisis

Let's. Skate. Forward.

SEASON TICKETS AND WINTER WONDERSLAM TICKETS ON SALE!

Have the Oly Rollers Changed Roller Derby as We Know (Knew) It?

Oly Rollers Take 2009 WFTDA National Championship

2009 Nationals: Capsule Recaps

Texecutioners' Watch Party!

2009 Nationals Preview: Why We'll Win

National Championship Prediction

Declaration of Derby: GO!

2009 Nationals Preview: Team Profiles

Interview with Atomatrix of the Oly Rollers

Dockyard vs. Lava City Bout Recap

DNN Releases November Power Rankings

Dutchland Hosts River City, Lehigh Valley

Suburbia Hosts Jersey Brawl, Shock Exchange vs. Death Quads

Fox Cityz Chips Off Glass City, 86-79

WE’RE WFTDA!

Roller Derby this weekend! Not for Nia...

Cats aren’t the Only Ones with 9 Lives

SEPTA Strike Shouldn't Impact Nationals

Oh no - How derby Hurts!

Great Expectations

THANK YOU FOR VOTING - WE WON!!

taunted by pima cotton

Dockyard Derby Dames vs. Lava City Roller Dolls Bout Preview

FUNDRAISER/VOTE FOR US!

Untitled

Life is Good!

scary clown, nice typography

Tryouts!

Preparing for FCDG ROLLER DERBY - Nov 7, 2009

Interview With Skate Pauli Girl

Homicide Shuts Down Militia In Men's Bout, 190-59

yes, it works, but it's funny because it's yelling at you

Slaughter County Roller Vixens Bout Preview

math/literary/dick joke

20x200x$825,000

2009 Dockyard Derby Dames Bout Recap

Minnesota Knocks Back #17 Carolina, 105-69

WCR Defeats Rose City in Front of Record Crowd, 113-73

SECRET OPPONENTS REVEALED!

Rat City’s Sockit Wenches in Double Header Challenge at Gotham

Judy Sowinski on the Radio

VOTE FOR US!

Zombie Pub Crawl

DERBUY, you said?

Pussy(cat) Calling

All My Tweets Come True!

Roller Derby Workout

Baltimore and Tucson Men's Teams Battle In Denver

Cincinnati & San Diego Split Flat/Banked Series

Join us for TXRD Night at House of Torment!

2009 Photos and Games

CKY A#1 Roller Rager Video Shoot

PJSD: Skate for Life

OSDA News

DerbyLuv email FUBAR

BRAWL SAINTS WIN!

Preview: #21 Cincinnati @ #18 San Diego

WFTDA Preview: #9 Rose City @ #3 Windy City

WFTDA Preview: #17 Carolina @ Minnesota

End of Season HOORAHS and Blues

Uncle Leon composes “Black-n-Bluegrass Blues”

2009 Calvello Cup Bout Recap

Invisibul Motorcycle

Open Caption #33 (twofer!)

surprize buttsecks

I CAN HAZ HUG RACER?

strangely classy octopus sofa

Today's installment of "my displaced anger is funny, too, right? RIGHT?!"

#14 Detroit Runs Over #13 Madison, 275-76

DNN Releases October 2009 Power Rankings

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 20 @ 10:00PM
Special LIVE and Film Event
Featuring a screening of the film
“Hell on Wheels”
Special post-film appearance by the
Jersey Shore Roller Girls

Serving Up Derby The Waitress